swissangel74 Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 hi there, i found out this morning I was pregnant, which was not at all expected...i have PCOS and never thought I could get pregnant without treatment. I had stopped the pill 2 yrs ago, with the ok of my bf...he knew the risks, but never said anything, because he knew the chance to get pregnant were really low. well, then, this morning I had nice +++ on my test. i am happy, but am really afraid of his reaction. he's 26 and I'm 31, and lately I really wanted a baby and we talked it over many times, and he always said he wasn't ready, he didn't want his life to change and that it just wasnt the good moment to have a baby...he's away until monday and I have absolutely no clue how to tell him, as he didn't know i thought I had pregnancy symptoms... does anyone have an idea on how I can tell him? I am afraid of his reaction, i don't want him to believe I did it on purpose... thanks to all of you Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 I guess the easiest way would just be to sit him down, at home, maybe before a meal or something, and tell him you have some unexpected news, you are pregnant. It seems to me that you told him you went off the pill knowing the risk of getting pregnant was low. Well, it is. But, in an average ejaculation, a man has 100,000,000 sperm, and you've been having sex for 2 years without the pill, and it only takes ONE to get you pregnant. The risk was low, not zero. Over the years you have been having sex with him, he's "given" you...literally BILLIONS of sperm cells. So, one out of a billion is pretty low, but looks like it found its way to your egg. Don't worry about him thinking you did it on purpose. You didn't, right? Link to comment
swissangel74 Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 of course I didn't...I even stopped thinking about wanting a baby when he told me it was not the good moment for him...it completely got out of my head for the past months. the thing is that the first year without pill, he never "stayed inside"...i was getting a little sick and tired because it felt to me that sex was not the same, so since november, he sometimes stayed inside, but not always... i am really panicking, i was myself in shock this morning, i cannot imagine how he'll feel... Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 men give off "pre-cum" during sex and before they ejaculate. "pre-cum" also contains sperm. don't worry. just take deep breaths. are you going to keep the baby? Link to comment
swissangel74 Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 definitely...am 31 and have polycistic ovarian syndrome, i do not want to take the risk to abort now and have problems after to have a baby... Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 I think that sounds like a very good decision Well, all you can do is just tell him that you're pregnant and want to keep the baby. do you think he would leave you? Link to comment
avman Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Just tell him. I know so many women who are worried about their boyfriend/husband's reaction to an unexpected pregnancy. In most cases once the initial shock wears off it turns out just fine. If your boyfriend is a good guy he's not going to be mad or upset at you. Yes he may go through a bit of shock and surprise, but he'll come around. Our third child was a total surprise. Like you we had serious medical difficulties conceiving children. The first two were conceived only after heavy intervention and so we never expected to get pregnant on our own. My wife was the same way, she thought I'd be mad that she was pregnant with our third child. But it was quite the opposite. It wasn't exactly convenient and I wasn't mentally ready right at the time, but I knew we'd figure out how to adjust. After a couple of days of shock I was all up for it and lo and behold I got the girl I'd always wanted. Give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. He just might surprise you. Link to comment
swissangel74 Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 i don't think he'll leave me, we've been together for 7 years, and i know he's the right one for me and vice versa. i am just a little afraid that he might react badly, it is sooooooooo unexpected...even for me, but as a woman, things are different... he's comking back on monday afternoon, so I still got time to think about all this, it may be positive, but in a way, it's difficult for me not to say a thing when I have him on the phone...i try to give him some hints, like my breast is sore, am tired, have nausea, but he won't get it....probably it's the last thing he's thinking of...and I can understand him... lol Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 well, like avman said, he may be shocked at first, but once the initial shock wears off, he may be very happy about things! Link to comment
RayKay Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Well, even with PCOS women can conceive, it just makes it a lot more difficult...but there is a risk. It sounds like you BOTH knew there was a risk, so I don't think either of you can be completely shocked it did happen! I think you just have to sit down and tell him straight up that you are pregnant when he gets back. No point in giving him hints really after all. He may indeed think you "did it on purpose" especially given the recent conversations, but the reality is you both "did it on purpose" by consenting to the risk, correct? If he was that worried, you should of discussed birth control. He may, or may not, want to stay around, however in either case it does not mean you are "alone". And I am with the others and hope that he may just surprise you Link to comment
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