One girl = 1000 friends

[photomo]

Isn't it amazing to realise how few friends you have once the love of your life leaves you? Not even once in our 6 year relationship did I stop to think what life would be like without her.....and not once did I think about how many friends I actually have.

 

Well, the answer is three. That's it! Just three friends - one being my brother! The problem is they all have their own lives outside of my friendship.....and I now have nothing. All I can do is depend on these three friends for my happiness. Yet at times like now, when they are all busy, what can I do? Here I am, all alone in my flat, doing nothing....just wishing I could be happy. I could go outside - I live in the centre of town - but what can I do myself?! Go to a bar alone?!

 

When I was with my ex, I never needed to think about all these things because she was my best friend. She knew all my secrets; I told her everything. She was like 1000 friends to me. I didn't need anyone else; she gave me everything I could want in a relationship and a friendship. But that has all gone.

 

It's now the weekend. I've been looking forward to it all week, seeing as work is so boring and full of geeks who don't talk. I've been dying to go out and have a laugh...yet there is no-one to do that with tonight.

 

Sometimes I just wish I could get out of this repetitive circle of events.....

 

Does anyone else feel the same?

[Princess18]

yes when i broke up with my boyfriend i was sooooo lonely. I felt like i constantly had to make arrangements to do things with my friends whereas before my boyf and i would both know we were seeing eachother so never had to plan. people didnt call me anymore cos they assumed i would be with my boyf so i didnt get invited places and i started to miss out on social events- he was my world, social life and best friend. after we split it was hard to re-establish myself back into my circle of friends cos id missed out on so much and totally made no effort with them. now i have moved abroad and have a totally new set of friends that im so glad to have met. Life works out i promise-- break ups are hard but you'll move on and continue YOUR life without her. Afterall its your life, all you need is you.....

[csula2004]

Edited because of on-going stalking issues.

[Genji05]

Yeah, I know how you guys feel. The first few weeks were hard after my break up. It takes time to re-establish contact with all the people you've lost touch with.

 

Even when I hang out with my friends now, I feel a little odd because I'm the only single one.

 

Things will get better. Get back in touch with all your new friends. Pick up some new hobbies and make some new friends.

[RayF]

It's quality not quantity.

 

Last night i came face to face with the until now, love of my life for the first time since the breakup 2 years ago, with her new boyfriend. My 4 (out of 5) very best friends were there to watch my heart shatter into a million pieces. And I'm greatfull to have had them there for me. Because the're my friends through that, through the moping and sobing about it afterwards, though thick and thin. And while i was with her I lost touch with them but never the bond we had. I know that these 5 guys will be with me to the end and i can rely on any one of them if i need anything. Same goes for the two very good school friends I have. And this dosn't even count my family. I'm greatful for the quality of friends i have.

 

Those people who have a million friends, it dosn't mean anything because most of them are just filler. Most people will only have 3 or 4 very good friends. Even if you only have one good friend it's betterthan a million fake ones.

 

Quality not quantity.

[mikeca]

yeah you kinda forget about some friends when your in a relationship because it takes alot of hard work to make it last...but you'll meet new people I counted 3 as well hah

[lo.fi.kev]

yeah, I understand this situation very well. I find myself with almost noone to open up to and talk to about it. Thank god for google, for I never would've found this site. It felt good to get it all off my chest in one manic typing-fest. But yeah, now that my g/f, well I guess she'd be my ex-g/f now, I find myself with a complete loss as to what to do with myself. We spent so much time together, and now I have all of this free time to suffer and be miserable and literally like 2 people to talk to about it. Which is horrible considering she kept in touch and still has all of her friends..mainly because while I was fully devoting myself and my life to her, she was making sure as to not make any of her friends angry for not hanging out with her. I know how you feel though, so at least you know you're not alone in this situation.

[alteer]

Having only being broken up from my boyfriend for 3 weeks I can't believe how lonely I am. I let all my other friends slide over the past couple of years that I was with him....bad I know.....and stupid. And now I'm left with no one while he still has all his mates. It makes breaking up even harder than it already is. I am never going to revolve my life around a bf again. I've joined a couple of social groups in the hope of making some new friendships. But gee it's tough.

[Siriana]

Yes, I had that situation too-who didn't. So, now I am always trying to keep a part of my life to myself . At least finding time to go with my 3 best friends out alone.

You can start taking some activites you might enjoy and it will give you an opportunity to meet new people: some group sport, art, studying languages..... It's important that you don't depend only on your friends because they are now used to the fact that you were not so available before so it takes time to get used to the new situation, and if they are still in serious relationships than it's really hard to count on them.

You have to take that first horrifying step and start doing things alone - after some time you will meet some new people who are doing those same things for the very same resons as you and there you go - you will have someone to go out with on saturday evening.

So at occupy yourself with some after work activities you might enjoy and with some patience things will start beeing better.

When I was in your situation I decided to learn German.

[photomo]

It gets particularly harsh when you want to express your feelings...I used to explain everything to my ex...and I used to listen to all her problems.

 

At first, my friends listened to me....but now they are fed up with me talking about my problems.....and now all I can do is bottle-up all my problems (and express them on this site). It's not good.

 

And now my best friend has got himself hooked up with a girl...so I'm even more alone! Oh well......good things come to those who wait, I guess!