his job is calling me....

[tulip]

Yesterday I was so tired of suffering from NC w/ my ex.

But I made it a point after he lied to me and then said things to me that it's DONE between us.

In the moment, I meant it......

But damn it, why am I suffering?

 

Yesterday my post reflected my loneliness in this hoping he was suffering too especially since his selfish choices got us where we are now.

 

after not retuning his call on Monday, even after he said, it's important, I wondered..... What did he have to say?

It took a lot to NOT call him back.

 

I think that may have got to him a little.

I just imagine him saying to himself, "she'll be back."

"There are quite a few times he's done something that kept me at bay for a few days but sure enough, I got over it and we were hanging out again as if nothing ever happened.

 

Now, I think it's hitting him that I might be serious.

 

Yesterday as I was driving to my mothers for dinner and distraction, I thought to myself, "I hope he is really suffering over this. I hope things just crumble down around him so he learns his lesson well".

 

Sounds rather harsh when I see it on screen but that's just the voice of pain.

 

Not even a minute later, my phone rings. I answer it and it's his manager that I just met recently. At first he asked if I had given any more thought to the product I was looking at buying. I said that I found one that works for me better. Then, my suspicion kicked in..... Why would his MANAGER call me and how did he get my number anyway?

SO I played along to see what I could get.

"Do you always call (ex's) customers like this?"

"Oh you know I'm the manager and I like to touch base...."

"If ex there?"

"uuuummmm...I haven't seen him all day" he said.

oh, okay......

"So how are you doing?" he asked

"great" I exaggerated.

"You and ex make a really cute couple" he went on.

 

Now I'm wondering if my ex put him up to this and if he was sitting right there.....

 

"OK"

"Don't you think you make a cute couple?"he asked

"Whatever you say" I replied.

Then he went on, "I'm kind of concerned about Ex...he seems like he's not really with it or something has him down. He left early yesterday saying he didn't feel good and then he called in today sick. I was wondering if you could call him and see if he is OK. I tried but he see's this number and doesn't pick up".

 

"But he did call in sick you said, right?" I asked?

"Yes.....I don't want him to get discouraged if he isn't selling that much being new and he has so much potential, I'd hate to loose him".

 

"Well, if he called you, then I wouldn't be too concerned. If it was a no-call and no-show, then I would be worried." I said not believing this is true.

 

"You can't just call him and see what's going on?" he asked again

 

"No, I don't want to impose on Ex."

"You won't be imposing..... What's going on? Is everything OK between you two?" He pried.

"I'll let you ask Ex about his personal life. It's not my place to discuss his personal life with his workplace. Look, if Ex doesn't show up by Friday and you get no call that he's sick, then call me." I said.

 

And it pretty much ended like that.

He did mention in there something about me being a reference so that may have been his lame excuse as to how he got my number but I am feeling pretty sure that he didn't dig through a file to get my number.

 

But what do you think?

If he is calling off sick, then I think he's suffering like he deserves.

If he's putting this coworker up to this which I wouldn't doubt because this guy is the kind of guy that likes to act, then I imagine he is trying to feel me out and get answers....see if I call Ex or act concerned.

 

I didn't call.

 

Your opinions?

[agent1607307371]

Your ex is behind the call.

 

Honestly, being the cruel person I am, I would have embarrassed the manager for making the call. It is not his place to put you in an awkward position.

 

Don't return the call. If he really is repentant for his actions he will come see you himself and attempt to put it right. (Though following your posts I think the best thing for you would be to cut him out altogether.)

Stay strong and put your concern and energies towards the person who deserves them- you.

[xprincessbugx]

wow, that is really weird that his manager would call and pry like that. I'm positive that your ex was behind all that and sitting with him while he called but that's very unprofessional in the first place.

[Tigris]

I agree that your ex is behind it.

 

If the manager calls again say, 'It's not my problem, it's yours. Bye.'

[tulip]

part of me thinks he was sitting there with his manager feeling me out.

but today, the other part wonders if it was true that he did call in sick and the manager was trying to see if he could get some info from me if things were ok and he didn't want to loose my ex as a new employee and maybe he wondered f my ex was with ME?

 

i have to admit, i have been driving by his place late ate night and in the morning before work (it's on the way to work), and i haven't seen his car there at all....not late and not super early. so maybe he hasn't been at home and at work....or, maybe something is going on with him e motionally and he's hiding away......... maybe he found some other chicks shoulder to cry on........... maybe he really is calling in sick because he's feeling like crap for being stupid.............. i haven't seen his car in front of his "friend of 5 years" apt. either (she lives by my gym). so i don't "think" he's there.

 

it's friday so today he goes into work at noon so i might drive past to see if is car is at home around 10:45 meaning he'd be there getting ready for work. if i don't see his car there, then he might be crumbling and giving up on his new job.

i don't know. i'll post back here wether or not i saw his car.....

 

i know i shouldn't be putting energy into him. as long as he doesn't know though, that i am still going through this. in his mind, i'm DONE like i said i was, emotionally and metally and have moved on. but that's not really me.

[marijana]

Okay I get it now after reading your other posts. Sweetie, this guy is dirt. Whether he put the manager up to it or not, you need to keep the NC. That includes when he isnt watching (driving by his house isnt healthy for either of you). If it will help you, call him and talk to him calmly and tell him to stop leaving messages etc. Dont accuse him of the manager thing. Just tell him its over, and he needs to stop. If your going NC you need to be in it 100%. And dont answer anymore calls from his work. (((hugs))) good luck sweetie.

[Momene]

Definitely no contact.