No physical contact

[mrrisotto]

Well, I *should* be studying for a final tomorrow, but I can't get this off my mind (mainly because it just happened again)!

 

My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 great months. Our sex life is fine - we make love on average of once a day. The problem is she never gives me head OR touches me. I can go without head for extended periods of time, but the fact that she doesn't even touch me is starting to cause some resentment. She knows how much I enjoy it, but never does anything! Usually, when we make love, I please her as much as I can - go down on her, kiss her all over, touch and tickle her entire body, etc. She's said that our foreplay is perfect for her, but it leaves me lacking, and on a few occasions I have had to manually masterbate myself right in front of her to get erect (not too often, but often enough to cause problems). I'll admit that I'm not always "up to the task," but given time I can be. I get the feeling that her attitude is: "I'm ready now... go home if you're not."

 

Is she just selfish?

[alteer]

Could I ask how old she is? If she is young then I don't think it's selfishness. Maybe she's just uncomfortable.

[mrrisotto]

Could I ask how old she is? If she is young then I don't think it's selfishness. Maybe she's just uncomfortable.

She's in her 30's... older then me by a "few" years. If she was young, I could completely see her being uncomfortable with things, but at her age, I would hope she has gotten over it - she's had a lot of sex and knows how to please, yet never does. Not even a touch here and there. Nothing... "I'm ready now... go home if you're not."

[monkey1]

Hmmm, sounds like she has issues with the male body maybe. She messed with as a kid?

 

I can't imagine not touching my partner during sex, I guess I would imagine it would cause a lot of problems between us.

 

What's her reason for not touching you? She feel wrong?

[heloladies21]

You're a man and lots of girls expect you to direct things in the bedroom. Nothing wrong with telling her what you want. And if she's not willing to reciprocate, why would you continue to satisfy her anyways? That's gonna tell her "it's ok for you not to satisfy me, but i'm gonna satisfy you anyways." Where's the incentive to change?

 

Pull back on the unconditional attention and affection. It's give and take, not just give give give.

[friscodj]

Definitely trust your feeling on her attitude. I think the lack of physical intimacy is a result of something else going on. You need to talk and get to the bottom of things here. I don't recommend playing the game of holding back your affection to get more affection from her, just talk and figure it out as a team.

[mrrisotto]

Honestly, she has some issues with my penis... I'm uncircumcised and she's only been with one other uncut male in her entire life (which was a LONG time ago). I don't blame her for having some hesitation, especially around the subject of oral, and I try to help her every chance I get (i.e. educating her on the circumcision process, mainly the cons... heh), but does that mean she can't even touch me when I'm clothed?!?!

 

I really don't want to go down the road of "its give and take, honey!" To put things into perspective a little bit more... the entire 7 months we've been together she's given me head 4 times (which is actually OK - would I like it more? Yes, but I'm satisfied) and has rubbed me probably 6-7 times. Everything has been very brief, and 2 out of the 4 times she's given me head, alcohol has been involved. She's never taken me "all the way" from head.

[Cadence308]

She sounds selfish to me, esp. since you said that she's in her 30s and is experienced at sex. I would try talking to her about it. This is not good and you are feeling resentful.

[itsallgrand]

She's either being selfish (I think this is it) or

She needs therapy.

 

this is wack. Stop giving so much! or she'll just keep doing it and never re-evaluate.

Think about it: she's got you around her finger.

[mrrisotto]

She's either being selfish (I think this is it) or

She needs therapy.

 

this is wack. Stop giving so much! or she'll just keep doing it and never re-evaluate.

Think about it: she's got you around her finger.

I think you're right... like a ribbon. This is rediculous. I'm curious to see what her attitude is like when I actually (calmly and caringly) confront her about it - why do I get the feeling that she'll throw something at me such as "I'm not obligated to do anything!"