Conversation

[xblondyx]

Well, i know i know, posting about HIM again. But i just want to vent a little bit.

 

Ok, well, just had a conversation with the ex. He said he just needed to get something off his chest and told me that he hoped i didn't get the wrong idea about our conversation last sunday night. I told him that i didn't and that i'm happy just being friends. He said that he just didn't want to get my hopes up over us getting back together and in his eyes there is only a tiny glimmer of us getting back together (and in my eyes there is none but i didn't say that).

 

He then continued talking to me, being nice, kinda flirting even though he doesn't realise he's doing it) saying he will see me at the party tomorrow.

 

Right, i know he made it clear we aren't getting back together but we've been getting along great and i'm happy. I'm always happy after talking to him. It even helps me sleep better after i've spoken to him.

 

He also said that he is getting very drunk at the party, and i said as normal i would be to. He said that he's going to get the dj to play my song and give me a shoutout (he's friends with the dj).

 

Grr i don't know what i'm trying to say. I think he still likes me but wants to be single but wants to be friends. I still like him but i don't think he knows it, i don't want to be single but i think i would find it hard to be friends with him but i want to stay close to him. I don't want to lose him in my life.

 

I don't really know what i'm blabbering on about here, i just wanted to write down what's just happened. I guess i'm happy...is this a good thing? i'm probably setting myself up for hurt so i'm trying to go back to NC but when i see him tomorrow its just going to bring everything back to me.

 

Should i avoid him at the party? i know i will run into him but probably won't speak to him...i don't know. What should i do?

[ElektraHere]

Blondy

 

What if you didnt go to the party? I think he misses the attention from you but he doesnt miss you. Does that make sense?

 

I wouldn't get any hopes up, I wouldn't continue talking to him, and I wouldn't go to the party that is just a train wreck waiting to happen. That is unless you like going through all these emotional rollercoasters?

[xblondyx]

I have to go to the party - it's my 2 best friends party and they would KILL me if i missed it! If i see him, i'll ignore him. There will be over 200 people there so i might be able to avoid him!