Once again, i have been crushed by another selfish human being.

[luke rom]

it has been about 2 years since i was last here, after a rather traumatic relationship that involved lies and cheating with more than 1 other guy. i spent a year talking to a counciler and last year, i was felling good. so good. felt myself for the first time in ages, i worked hard starting a web company, became active, funny, social and above all, maintained my moral and considerate personality. i believe that you should treat others the way you want to be treated, and always consider your partner before making any decisions that could cause hurt. so im on a good road to success and happiness, living the single life and really enjoying myself. in october last year i met a girl, so sweet, beautiful and so similar to me in humour and life. she asked me out, and before i knew it, we were together in what can only be described as a perfect relationship. we saw each other enough to be satisifed, not ot much and not to little. after christmas, she told me she loved me, the first person she has ever been in llve with. she had a similar story to my past relationship, her ex actually slept with HIS OWN NIECE! from the start i told her that i would never accept lies and cheating, in fact it would probably destroy me. she said the same, and she has been as honest as they come, trelling me whenever anyone came on to her, or anything that she thought i should know, and by doing this, our trust was so strong i would believe whatever she told me.

 

about a month ago, she told me that one of my best friends hit on her.... i couldnt believe he did that, so i called him up and ended our friendship, he was guilty and apologised, but the damage was done. she had run in to him at a strip club, she had gone there with one of her male friends who is very lonely, so i guess he fancied a lap dance. i had no problem wiht her going there, even though she admitted to being bi-sexual. its not an issue to me. so that was tough to accept but it didnt affect us, only me and my friend.

 

well, a few nights back, i had finished dj'ing at a bar at 2am, and the other guys working, and a few girls, wanted to go for a few drinks, and the strip club was all that was left open. i am not a fan of strip clubs, i dont really enjoy watching what is basiclly a slightly tamer version of a hooker dance around for money. but i went there for a drink, and left after 15 mins or so. the next day, my girlfriend went crazy because i had gone there, she was ready to split up with me. she wouldnt acknoledge the fact that she went there, and it was purely coz i had and i obviously didt respect her.

 

i became suspicious, this is the baehaviour of a guilty person, the pre-emptive strike so to speak. so i asked her to tell me about the night she was there. she finally gave in and admitted to getting a lap dance. then admitted to several lap dances, 5 in all. i asked if she had been attracted to any of the girls. she denied it. for an hour, then admitted it. i was in shock, this girl who i had let in despite all the hurt i have had before, put me through hell for going there, on the verge of splitting up, and she was acting that way becuase of what she had done. she told me she felt so bad because that girl gave her 2 dances, even after she felt bad for having the first one with her. the actual thing itself isnt all that bad, but the lieing and the way she made me feel have brought back so much pain. i feel so let down and alone. i cant forgive this again, i cant deal with lies and now, all the trust we had is gone. she desperately wants to make this work, but i just cant. i am so sick of hearing 'im sorry' from people, the words have lost all meaning. i am now so down, i am unitentionelly destroying all my other realtionships, my parents, friends, because i just cant bear tmo go through talking about other fu*kup like this again. i am ready to give up. where are all the decent people? why do people have such little repect for others? compared to other posts, this seems less important, but i feel like i am right back when my last girlfriend told me she slept with 4 other people. i am ready to snap.

 

o well.

 

Luke.

[AzureSkyes69]

It is horrible what your going through.I know what your going through I myself thought I found the perfect person for me as well..needless to say that was shattered.I myself still have to believe there are good decent people out there..somewhere.

As to your gf lying there is no excuse for it,I used to lie I have learned big lessons now I tell the truth,even if it will hurt.If you don't have honesty and trust in a relationship..what do u have? Nothing that's what.

Did she sleep with those 4 other people when you were with her?

It is your desision to give her another chance or not,reguarding the lying about the lap dances.But if she was cheating on you while you were with her I would NOT give her another chance.

[amtjrtcet]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I've been burned pretty bad & its caused me 2 become a "one chance" kinda person with NO exceptions.....There are decent people out there, you're one of them. Don't settle for anything less then what makes you happy.....Don't worry about explaining things to anyone, its your life........In my opninion, if you don't have trust, then you don't have anything. Good luck, stay strong