her stuff is in my trunk

[Diggitydave]

I want to chuck it so bad but something inside of me is saying no. what the.... ?! all the memories, cards, the valentines day gift that melted my heart. all that stuff. AAAAAHHHHH!!!!

[I need help]

i am so sorry that you are hurting. I am going thorogh something very similar too. It hurts so bad. Please take care of yourself.

[novaseeker]

Put it in a box and store it somewhere where you don't access very often so you are not confronted with it regularly.

[Diggitydave]

i've done that for the past 5 months. the problem is I always know that it's there in the back of my head. this sounds so retarded but i kinda know i have to get rid of it but something inside of me keeps saying no. i think it's my heart and my head fighting with each other. who knows. blah

[kellbell]

Hmmm....maybe you can bury it. Seriously. Kind of like a time capsle. Just a thought.

[novaseeker]

Could you pass them onto a friend for safekeeping?

 

It's understandable not wanting to deep-six all of that stuff, but it's not helping you having them in your trunk, which you will access from time to time.

[avman]

I agree - give it to a friend for safekeeping until you have healed enough to handle it. Someday you may want it back and you'll only remember the good times.

[Diggitydave]

it's been in my trunk for a while. that and having her phone removed from my contract are the last remnants, not counting little tiny things that i'm sure i could find around the house but...oh yeah and the cat she got me which is the constant reminder. great huh? yeah i feel ridiculous.

[pugg]

I don't think it's good to hang on to any of that stuff. For the time being, put it in a box then get it out of sight for awhile. Take some time for the sting to wear off then decide what you want to do. Personally, I got rid of all the stuff that my g/f of five years gave to me. One day I decided to shred the stuff at work so I did. I haven't regretted it at all. I have kept a few nice gifts she gave me but that's it. It seems like keeping that stuff just rehashes old memories. It keeps you from moving forward by hanging on to the past.

[Diggitydave]

maybe my heart doesn' want to let go but my brain is telling me to. im retarded

[deejay74]

maybe my heart doesn' want to let go but my brain is telling me to. im retarded

 

dave, try to stop beating yourself up over this. you are human with feelings and emotions. beating yourself up over what to do with your ex's stuff is only self-defeating. give it some time, i am sure you will figure out what to do with it.

 

hang in there!

[chai714]

Dave,

 

Save the stuff for now.

 

You might consider paying someone (friend or relative) to clean out your trunk if you think you can't handle it. They can hold onto your stuff for however long it takes.

 

Good luck.

[Bigbilly]

Personally, I am also one of the people who just took everything she'd ever given me and chucked it in the trash. I don't regret it even a tiny bit.

 

If i were you, I'd do the same. If that stuff is still bothering you so much after so long, I don't see what burying it or giving it to a friend is going to do, because in the back of your mind you're still going to know it's there. If I were you, I would toss it out, and immediately get about moving on to other girls and other adventures. This isn't healthy, man.

[Diggitydave]

my brain agrees with you big billy.

 

what a stupid decision. who knew it would be so tough.

[Siriana]

You are not retarded! First - stop forsing yourself to burry yor feelings and feeling guilty because you are still feeling lausy. The sooner you admitt yourself that you are allowed to feel like s... you are going to start healing.

And you don't have to throw these things, if not ready jet, so don't force yourself. But to drive them around in your trunk is such a bad idea because you can constantly see them as a reminder.

You can give it all to your friends - because you don't need all this stuff anymore and maybe some of your friends could use those things you want to throw, or simply if it's clothes you can give it to charity or something...there must be someone who needs the same thing you want to get rid off (that way you could do something nice and at the same time help yourself). And what you can't give away because it has no practical use or is personal just throw away when you are ready.

[Diggitydave]

this is probably a lot simpler than i'm makin it out to be. i guess i should just chuck it.

 

Funny story i actually was going to kinda do it yesterday but there was an inchworm on my trunk, i picked it up and let it crawl on my finger for a little bit and before you know it i had forgotten to throw the stuff away. Now i am second guessing it today lol.

 

oh well, all in time i'm sure one day i'll just pickup and make the decision to do it.

[BellaDonna]

Your post reminded me of another post someone wrote about saving sentimental items:

 

My advice about these things has always been them away! lol

 

Memories are in your heart, mind, and soul, and you do not need material items to validate them. If you feel having those things around weighs you down or makes you feel sad- chuck it.

 

I'm a firm believer in purging unnecessary things/items. Maybe you can compromise and keep one item that is particularly special and get rid of the rest.

 

 

BellaDonna

[I need help]

i know that is so hard brain tells you one thing but heart is not ready to listen. Even memories haunt you everyday. No matter how much others tell you but sometimes nothing seems to work.

 

I myself having a really bad day today. I am looking for every excuse to cry.

[I need help]

I have no idea why heart does not listen to brain. That is the reason memories stay still fresh, no matter how much we want to forget everything.

 

I am having a bad day too. I have been crying on and off so badly. It hurts so bad.