If you're not interested why do you respond

[Luke Skywalker]

I can offer another perspective. I've tried playing around on a few dating sites (and it really was playing for me).

It doesn't seem real. I didn't intend on anything serious. It was just fun and silly.

 

I know I sound like a horrible person, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who goes on those sites 'just for a kick' or as a joke.

I stopped. But who's to say that it isn't a 'toy' to others too?

 

That brings the question to my mind: How many people on there are actually serious, do you think? And honest?

 

It's one half dozen of the other I guess. The internet has to maintain a tone to attract people who would want to use it for kicks or who are not initially serious, as is the case offline too. Otherwise, I suppose there would be less people on it, if people were dead certain about their intentions.

[mjctraider]

I have been told by several girls that I am funny and all that, but everytime they seem me as a friend and nothing more. I'm short, slender and going bald and most women at least from what I have seen, see it as a turn off. They want the atheltic or average sized guy that is taller than myself and it always gets me down. I'm usually shy at first, very shy and I do get a date now and then, but it's very rare and I never get a second date. They see me as too shy, but they don't realize that there is an outgoing guy in me, they just have to take the time to get to know me and so far not one girl has been willing to do that or at least one that was not married or already taken.

 

I'm not a religious person so I think church is the wrong way to look, I have my believes and they might class with someone who is religious. I'm more spirtual. And I'm not into country music so the line dances are out. Yes they are just suggestions, but I live in an area that isn't very populated and any females that are around are taken. Also my shyness gets in the way and I tend to be a homebody. I have friends, but it's rare that we hang out much.

 

Basically right now online dating is my only option. I know it's not the best way to meet people, but I did meet one girl whom I would later be friends with and we've been friends for over a year. She meet another guy online and they couldn't be more happier. They been dating for almost a year and a half. So while it might not work for everyone there are a few where online dating works. Right now it's my only option. At work everyone is taken and it can always lead to problems if things go sour. I've seen a few to make me think twice about getting involved with a woman from work.

 

I guess all I can do is keep looking and hope that at some point in time someone is willing to put my shyness aside and get to know the funny and outgoing guy I can be.

[doyathink]

Well, ok. Do you have agym somewhere close to your town? Get more in shape and single women are all over the place. This may help your confidence by working out and putting on the "buff" at the same time as just keeping an eye open for who may be checking you out. Don't be a "stalker" as some women go to just wind down and don't want to be approached but there are others who are looking as you are.This may be your answer, it wouldn't hurt. You may not be the kind to want to workout , you may need to push yourself but it can only benefit you in the long run. There are some who swear it's a great stress reliever.You have to get out there to be found!!And, by the way, you have just described my husband. Short, thin, balding and very shy. Can't carry on a conversation to save his life but it willhappen when you least expect it. Keep on keepin on.

[mjctraider]

I would work out if I could, I do have a weight machine at home, but I haven't used it in a long while and basically the only reason why is because I have a hernia and really don't want to makje it worse than it already is. I need to find out if I can at least use parts of it to at least tone my muscles. I don't care to be the muscle bound jock you see walking the street that only cares about working out 24/7. Plus I just don't have much time since I work 40 hours a week and go to school. It would be nice to get a little muscle mass on my body, just not sure if its a good idea mainly because of the hernia.

[doyathink]

Maybe your just stuck here and the online dating it sounds like. I'm soo sorry there arn't a lot of choices for you. I enjoy talking to ya so keep on posting. And remember, you will find someone when you least expect it. I was single four years before I found my husband and I had almost given up.

[mjctraider]

I wanna keep believing that I will find someone when I least expect it, but I've been single all my life. I've never had a girlfriend and I never get to the second date. So everyday I lose a little bit of hope of every finding that girl that I will connect with on so many levels.

[Luke Skywalker]

I wanna keep believing that I will find someone when I least expect it, but I've been single all my life. I've never had a girlfriend and I never get to the second date. So everyday I lose a little bit of hope of every finding that girl that I will connect with on so many levels.

 

Well, relax about the second date part - most people in the online dating culture, even the good looking ones, rarely get second dates, because most people on those sites just like the thrill of meeting someone new, and unfortunately, they want to date someone else new once they meet you because of all the choices they have. When you meet someone offline, then there is a better chance of second and third dates or what have you.

 

I would have to say, that for two other online people I know who are into internet dating, one who may consider himself good-looking with a snappy profile, or another one, who may consider himself not so good looking in person, both have the same luck of having only one date from the people they meet.

 

As long as you are gaining dating experience with each successive date you are getting, then that is what counts. Try to be a little more seductive on each future dates than you were in the previous one, assuming you like the girl and there is some chemistry. That's what really counts.

 

The internet is not the best place to find a girlfriend, but then again, you never know. Some people do. I'm certainly not one of those lucky ones, and neither is anyone else that I know.

[mjctraider]

I agree that the Internet isn't the best way to find someone, but for me it's pretty much the only way. I have limited ways of meeting people around me and the ones i'm interested are already spoken for and the ones that aren't well, I can't seem to find them. I've been looking for years and years and just can't seem to find anyone the old fashioned way. I figured online dating was my only option. As far as the second date thing, i'm talking more just in general whether I meet them from work, school, Internet or where ever, they see my shyness and don't want to take the time to get to know me. What very few women know is that I can be outgoing. I've been told my a few girls that I'm not shy, but they know me already. Most girls that don't know me see my shyness and run for the hills.