He dumped me on the phone!!! And said weird things???

[Goldie]

Hiya,

 

So I called him in the end. And he said he hadn't been in touch coz he was confused and needed time. I told him it was unfair to keep me hanging on.

 

He said he couldn't end it coz he was scared of ending it in case in a month's time he realises he loves me and wants me.

 

I told him I can't hang around so asked if we were off or on. He said off. So here I am

 

I'm okay... coping. As much as can be expected. I had a good cry on friday and took the day off work. And then drove all the way to my original hometown where I'm sat now, at my parents house. All my old mates have been fantastic and I've had a right ego boost coz I've lost loads of weight recently and have toned up and must admit don't look half bad. I even got asked out yesterday evening!! Couldn't believe it. So that was encouraging.

 

But I can't stop thinking about how he ended it on the phone.

 

The only thing that's keeping me going is by hating him and reminding myself all the time in my head why he was so not worth me! Ha!

 

And all this crap about him worrying about changing his mind in a month realising he loves me still... Part of me wants him to so I can have him back BUT a huge part of me knows that if that does happen, I'll have my revenge.

 

I know I sound pathetic. Essentially I want us to be mates one day but for now, the only thing that's keeping my head above water is anger.

 

G xxx

 

PS. Do you think he will want me back?? I'm really confused. My mates keep saying it might not be entirely over. He may need just time

 

Oh but, I deserve better.. Damn it! Breakups are the worst thing

[IMyselfAmHell]

if he loved you that much, he wouldn't break up with you in the first place. and dumping someone on the phone is sooo low. besides, it just seems like he's dumping you and just in case he can't find anyone better then he'll go out with you again. you're right, you do deserve better.

[swimchick03]

my old b/f dumped me on the phone too, but if you think your phone break-up was bad--he had me on speakephone w/all his buddies there (good thing he doesnt have many friends)

Well, he told me he "might" want me back too. I, at the time, really liked him so I was hoping..but anyways, to make a long story short, I found someone who really loves me for me, and I realized I never ever ever wanted to go back out w/that pathetic creep again, and my new b/f would never ever do me that way.

So, all in all, forget him. Find that special guy who is so much better and will treat you w/respect and love you for you.

 

-Swimchick03

[musicchicus]

I think he wants some space...regardless of whether it is permanent.

 

I think that he said what he said because he wants to keep you hanging on, just in case something better doesn't come along.

 

USE YOUR ANGER!!! Get out there, date, meet new people, etc. Let him decide that he wants you back...but by then you will be so BEYOND him that YOU won't want HIM!

 

Anger is a wonderful thing sometimes. If only some of us could reach that step in the grieving process!

 

Good luck

[stary]

what i always think is that if it was meant to be, it will. i know what you mean about break ups. they all suck. why is it so heart to understand guys? i guess they could say the same about us to. i think we are just programed differently than them. how you feel better. only time can tell what will happen. just remember for every bad thing, theres some one else thats worse off. so just smile and try and forget

 

bye

[Goldie]

Thanks guys. Much appreciated and again you've helped so much.

 

It's so good to get all this crap off my chest and have people tell me they understand.

 

I'm feeling much worse tonight. I haven't stopped thinking about him and I really miss the guy.

 

The last time I saw him I was leaving his house early to go to work. He was curled up naked in bed next to me. His beautiful soft skin next to mine. I was holding his hand and he was making cute murmer noises. I was stroking his hair and kissing his shoulder, saying goodbye before work. His smell was fantastic and the way the light catched his face was out of this world. I gave him one last hug and felt a horrible feeling in my stomach as I left that he didn't love me anymore.

 

I went to work, called him and he didn't reply. And he then left me for five days before dumping me on the phone. I mean.. honestly. He may as well have stabbed me in the heart with a razor blade.

 

Bingo! I just cried a little for the second time since we broke up. That's encouraging as I've been avoiding doing it ever since. I'm scared of what will come out.... if you know wot i mean.

 

Thanks for the advice and I know I will be just fine... G xxx

[Innotech]

if he loved you that much, he wouldn't break up with you in the first place. and dumping someone on the phone is sooo low. besides, it just seems like he's dumping you and just in case he can't find anyone better then he'll go out with you again. you're right, you do deserve better.

Actually thats not always true. I loved a girl so much I broke up with her because hse was honestly happier alone htan with me. Had I hung onto her I would have made her miserable. I love her far too much to do that. So the door swings both ways. Now if hte person wants ot resolve differences and keep it oging, its still not an indication that htey dontl ove you anymore, they possibly just are not compatible and you have to accept it and move on.

[goodfella]

Hey Goldie,

 

I am going through the exact same situation with the roles reversed. My girlfriend broke up with me over the phone and we havent talked for over a month now. The thing is there is such a whirlwind of emotions, one day i'm angry at her and then i feel sad. I know she needs her space but the hurt is something i would not wish on anyone. Coming to this board is a good step, as is moving back to home closer to family and friends. Never underestimate the value of good friendships, they have been helpful this past month. The advice given on this forums is helpful and even though it is painful to read it probably is the best advice....you have to put forth your best effort and move on, because like me we are trying to bet on something thats not a sure thing and that is our ex's feelings changing and wanting to be back with us. We just end up hurting oursleves even more. I guess my best advice is to continue hanging out with friends, love him if you have too but have faith in times ability to heal. If you want to talk more about this you can always PM or email me at email removed. Good luck and keep your head up!