to love or be loved

[skittles]

Question.....

 

Which one would you rather be....the one in love with your SO or your SO be in love with you? You can only pick one or the other but not have it both ways. Which one would you pick and why?

[Scotcha]

Since I can't pick both I'd pick neither. Unrequitted love is too painful.

[Daddy Bear]

great question, skittles. you really made me think! i finally decided that i would rather have a SO who was in love with me... which seems to contradict the way i've been managing my affairs lately.

 

what's your own answer?

[Majin19]

I'd much rather be loved, as right now I'm in the opposite situation, and it sucks.

[skittles]

I would rather be loved. Coz if you loved someone else and they don't love you back, you tend to get treated like crap and you can't control their feelings. Whereas, with my own feelings I can control how I treat the person that loves me and try to build on it.

[spunkmaster]

I also would have to go with the neither option...the whole "you can't miss what you've never known" idea. Although, yeah I've been in both positions, it's hard. Knowing that someone loves me that much but I don't return their feelings makes me feel like s***. Likewise, knowing that a certain person doesn't love me and probably never will is the worst heartbreak I've felt possibly ever.

[Daddy Bear]

of course we'd all pick neither. that wasn't one of the options, though, and that answer kind of defeats the purpose.

 

sorry if i'm being a buzzkill.

[Backstroke03]

If I have to pick one, I have to pick to love, I'm a giver and I have learned not to fight it.

 

Obviously I want it to be mutual on the highest level, but I find so much satisfaction in doing special things for someone I care about, for better or worse.

[itsallgrand]

I would pick to love. That way, even though the pain sucks massively, at least I learn something and can be happy in the opening.

It's way worse for me to feel like i can't love another.

[eleanorrigby1]

Having been in both situations, I would say, I'd rather die alone than pick one of those.

 

Unrequited love is the most painful thing to ever experience and to have someone love you, when you dont love them is equally painful, granted not as much, but still just as hard.

[Prenkle]

With limited options, I'd pick loving someone who doesn't love me. While being in love with someone and not having that love returned is painful, my life will be a lot fuller if there's someone in this world that I think highly of. It makes this world a more beautiful place. Since there are so many things in this world that are not pleasant (in fact that are often heart breaking), I'll take whatever I can take.

 

Loving someone gives me something to look forward to everyday.

[mmmending]

beautiful question.. i read in a yoga magazine an interview with krishna das, an american singer of kirtan, or indian devotional music.. in the interview was this juicy little insight:

 

"when you fall in love, what you are really seeing is your own beauty reflected in someone else's face at that moment."

 

the falling in love part seems to be the key to this, in so far as it reflects in some measure a form of unconditional love.. there is a kind of purity when you fall in love, you can't help it, it sort of comes without strings

 

so, love or be loved?

 

i think i'd rather love - freely - as in the two times when i can truly say i have been deeply in love, i love that feeling of having that person as a loving presense in heart and mind.. there is also something very special about the energy of loving that seems to bring love your way

[Scotcha]

Since I can't pick neither I'll simply won't pick at all and hope that neither one comes to me.

 

But if it's a pick one or everyone on the planet will die sort of situation..

 

I'll pick having someone love me. They'll get over it with far less tears on my part and I'd never in a million years actually CHOOSE to love someone who would never love me back.