Do They Miss Us?

[Cute Band Rat]

Have you broken up with someone, convinced you never wanted to speak to them again, only to miss them after a while? I hope this is what my ex is feeling. It's been 5 weeks, and I miss him like crazy. I need some encouragement tonight

[jcap01]

Did you break up with him?

 

All I can say is that my ex broke up with me and I was very heart-broken. For the first while I was very, very sad as she told me she didn't want a relationship with me (i begged her to take me back but her mind was made). I still missed her so much though. She also told me she loved me and missed but...who knows if that's true.

 

Now, I'm not begging etc and have totally went the No Contact route since last thursday. She broke the No Contact on Wednesday calling me 3 times at work. Yesterday, I received 4 text messages from her. Does this mean she misses me or is still trying to keep me on a leash while she figures out her life. Who knows but I'm hoping it's because she misses me.

 

If there was any love in your relationship, then I don't have any doubt in my mind that he misses you.

[PRSOV]

Hi there...

 

How long with you with your ex for? Why did it end... need some more details on the situation

[bobo85]

Most people occasionally miss their exes especially right after a breakup. Do they think about you? Of coures they do. You will NEVER forget someone you love.

[Cute Band Rat]

We dated for only a few months but we were in contact for over a year and now its over for good. He dumped me more or less. I know I should forget him but it's so hard. Some days are real easy and some days he's all I think about. I feel so empty, like there's a huge void in my life. I wonder if he ever even thinks of me

[Cute Band Rat]

It just hurts me to think that his ONLY memory of me will be of our last contact, when of course things went bad. I am a great person and all I want is for him to be in my life, even as a friend. To know I can't even have that anymore truthfully makes me want to cry.

[PRSOV]

It is impossible to forget him, he has been part of a special part of the last year of your life! Its only natural to have these feelings and wanting to remove them, but you need to approach the situation with a positive attitude. People tend to feel like this after a break up because they don't feel like they have any control anymore...

 

The only real way to get past these feelings is to let yourself go, go out and enjoy doing something, take a nice long walk somewhere nice, contact old friends you haven't spoken to in a while... just take it one step at a time

[bobo85]

I know you want to be his friend right now but trust me, its for all the wrong reasons. Why do you want to be his friend? I'll bet its because you hope he will realize he made a mistake and give you guys another chance. Am i right? Sure you guys can be friends but in the future. You cant be friends with someone if you have feelings for them.

 

You have to do NC right away so you can start healing and moving on. I know it doesn't seem like it right now...but your relationship with him will be a great learning experience and will make you a stronger and better person.

[PRSOV]

I agree with Bobo85 on that one too, it isn't in the best interests of yourself to try and maintain a friendship with your ex this close after breaking up with him, I have an ex in the same situation which I broke up with... I wanted to try and maintain a valueble friendship but I had to end that because her feelings were just to strong to try and maitain any sort of friendship, and yeah... it doesn't work out in many situations unfortuantely until you have fully healed and moved on from him.

 

On what reason did your relationship with him end?

[itsallgrand]

Is he a musician?

that would be a whole other story

[Cute Band Rat]

No he's not....and I'd rather not rehash the reasons he dumped me. Mostly

crappy timing but a list of other things played into it as well. I have not contacted him at all in over 3 weeks. That was my last attempt at salvaging things. I sent him a final goodbye letter on that day..and wished him happiness despite all that had happened. That was that.

[patience]

First off, congratulations on three weeks of NC! Good for you!

 

If you stick with NC, you will heal, and you will feel better. There will be really rough days, but overall, you'll be better off.

 

Try to focus on you. Do nice things for yourself. Go out with friends. Be open to meeting new people. Welcome positive energy into your life!

 

Good luck!

[Beyondthesea]

It's hard when you do no contact for 3 weeks and they haven't tried to contact you. I think that is probably what is getting at you right now.

 

Believe us when we say it is the best thing to do and you will feel better soon Good for you Just keep active and busy and you will be alright.

 

Get to know someone you have really missed: YOU!

[Cute Band Rat]

Yes Beyond, that IS part of what is getting to me, but do you think it gets to him too??? I know he is not going to contact me, I don't expect that, besides, I pretty much made it impossible for him to contact me even if he wanted to. My email account he knows has been cancelled. I guess it's just the missing him that gets to me.

[ocrob]

I would say that you are very lucky that things ended when they did. Let me explain. Breaking up is terrible, but the longer you went out the harder it is to let go and move on. I am not minimizing your time together, but thankfully it was not too long. I do believe what they say about however you went out dictates how long it will take to get over. It is weird because tonight I have read many women's posts about being broken up from their boyfriends. Usually, it is the other way around. I usually read posts about guys like me being dumped by the women they love. It is a very hard situation, but I try to think of anyone that I went out with that liked me where I did not have the same feelings. This never happened to me until about two months ago. I don't think it is the same because I was honest with the woman about how I felt and my situation, but she called me five times a day and it finally broke me and I just stopped talking to her. I have never been the one to break up with anyone and I did not break up with this woman because we were never together. But, it did give me a small sense of what these people feel when they break up with us. I have learned to never chase someone that steps back. If they want you, then they will come back. It is so hard to comprehend because we all have these amazing feelings and the other person does not. I am not saying your situation is the same, but pursuing does not work. It works or can work great in the beginning, but after a long relationship, it seems the other person makes up their mind way before the break up. It sucks. Don't you wish you could have an alert button light up before it gets to that point? It doesn't and it sucks. I will say that men are more likely to come back then women. Women seem to make up their mind and it is final and men seem to be unsure and come back quite frequently. I guess that is the tale of our gender.

 

Robert

[Cute Band Rat]

Maybe you're right. I hope you;'re right about the men coming back. Even if I KNEW he even thought about me and has not completely put me out of his mind, it would make me feel loads better. I know, it would not mean much but at least I would know I mattered enough that he still thought of me.

[annie24]

I think a lot of people experience hard times around the 3rd week and again around the 5th/6th week of no contact. but, once you make it to 8 weeks, things get a bit easier. that's a generalization, but I think you'll feel better soon. I felt pretty crappy around my 5th/6th week (I'm in week 7 right now )