Treating women nice simply doesnt seem to work.

[k2004myway]

Good relationships, platonic and otherwise, are an emotional risk. Those who don't care about anyone don't take those risks. Such people will get bit in the end. The women who flock to these guys, are generally insecure and not the kind you might want to have a LT relationship with. You need to invest in people and risk being hurt--which is what nice people do. The only problem I see is that you might be too clingy and maybe a bit hesitant in making your intentions known. Be nice, but show confidence in your ability to attract a woman.

[Alabama]

LOL. Yah, it feels like I'm dealing with the same thing. I'm a nice guy, but I just don't seem to have confidence in myself. I realize I need it and am trying to improve myself, but hang in there JonnyG! Even if you haven't found someone who has reciprocated your love, you definitely shouldn't change. I'm still single and know I won't change. Why should I? Have patience and good luck!

[the yang to the worlds yin]

i firmly believe that changing in order to suit someone else's want's will ultimately leave you feeling unsatisfied even if you achieve the desired result. plus confidence comes with time and self-reflection, anyone who says it came easy, is lying through their teeth ; )

 

so good for you Alabama, it's nice to see someone who believes in themself like that.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

YES..another good point. The sort of women youll attract with a *bad* attitude are obviously down on themselves for letting themselves be treated like that...and dude, you want a woman who has self respect! Otherwise, how will she ever deserve yours?

[Huli]

phew can't believe i actually read through your post.

 

tell you what, you can go and try to be 'mr bad * * * * *', cause i think you won't be able to do it. it's like a good citizen is just unable to steal stuff out of stores while those stuff are just lying outside ready for you to grab and whistle off. It's you, or it's not you.

 

those guys/girls who treat the other sex like * * * *, they have their own pains. You think it's fun being someone who changes partners like clean socks? At least people won't talk behind your back saying stuff like 'Who, him? naww, half of town has slept with him, he's trash'

 

like others prolly already have said, those girls who stick with bad boys, they're not the ones you're looking for or think they are, and they are thrillseekers, popularity-oriented teenagers. But of course, some just fall in love with the wrong types. I understand your line of thought, i think i'd feel the same way about it when i bump into so many 'proofs'. But what also crossed my mind is.... you find it important to have a gf dont you? somewhere in your post i read '.. after being single for 6 months ..' is it really that important to you that you have a girl next you? I've been single for 2 years, had a go with a guy i dont'really like, broke up, had a go with another guy without really feeling something for him, broke up etc. and I'd much rather have someone who really is there for me, then to have a bunch of cute nice guys filling my weeks. Turning into a 'bad' girl and attract more guys..that sounds so horrid to me, it's like selling myself off to those sex-hungry fools (imo of course).

 

try to become a bad guy, you'll see. girls won't stay long either. There might be more peeps interested in you, but what's their interest based on? something that you're not. Plus you'll miss out the girls who fall for nice guys

[Huli]

ow forget to mention one thing. most girls dun see the 'normal' or 'average' guy who lives just around the corner. instead they hear, talk and gossip about the bad guys. Until the good guy suddenly has a gf, one starts to think 'hey, why didnt i notice him before?'

 

so what you might try to do is stay mysterious, invoke their interest, act unpredictable. When you receive their attention make them work for it. the cause of girls leaving you easily is maybe because..they gained you just as easy.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

But doesn't that describe the behavior of girls that are possibly either insecure or trying to " fix" a man? It would seem that type of girl wouldn't be most men's ideal mate. If someone has to change the way they act to make someone else notice them, then who's to say they wouldn't have to change who they are just to keep them?

[JonnyG]

Thx for the responses Huli.

 

To answer your question, yes, girls are important to me. At your age I didn't really think about girls all too much, barely been out with anyone and certainly spent no time with someone I really cared about. Im sure you have spent more time with bfs than I had with gfs.

 

Now at 24, days, weeks, months are racing by. Its crazy how fast life goes as u get older. And one thing u find as u get older, well I do anyway, is the need for someone in your life. U can tell me your thoughts when your 24

 

Now I have met with girls who I REALLY did enjoy spending time with and had REAL feelings for. Suddenly the world that seems a bit repetitive gets all the more exciting and enjoyable and I feel on a high. I like someone, they like me back, it feels great.

 

And your right, I don't think I could treat girls bad, its not in me. I dont see the point of treating som1 bad if u like them.

[Spugly Fuglet]

I’ve always just been myself, which in the bast has not been a vary nice guy.

Never had a problem getting a relationship but keeping it

That’s different. You have to think long term.