used?

[hopelesslee]

I went down on a guy for the first time last week (and it didn't go too well). We've been dating casually for about a month, and now I'm worried he was just using me. We haven't talked since it happened except for one time online very briefly (but he's on vacation now anyway), and he seemed pretty distant. When I asked him if something was wrong, he said that he was just tired. Before all of this happened he seemed very interested in me, texted/IMed me all the time, said really sweet/romantic stuff, etc. I guess he could just seem distant because he is on vacation for a week, but I'm still worried. What should I do? Would it be better to wait for him to contact me and just not jump to conclusions about him, or should I talk to him again and figure out what's going on? Thanks guys, any advice would be appreciated!

[bobo85]

Just call him and see whats up. It seems to me like you are ready for a commitment with him. You can either tell him that your ready for a commitment or you can wait for him to bring it up. I'd rather tell him and if he can't give me what I want then i'll move on.

[DN]

What went wrong and do you think that has anything to do with him being distant?

[Cadence308]

I think the real question is, did he also go down on you or at least reciprocate? If not and if he didn't even offer, then he was probably using you. Unfortunately, many guys do these kinds of things. Call him and ask him what's up, but be prepared to move on.

[dontknowwhattodo]

I think she already asked what was wrong and he gave her the crap about being tried. Unfortunately, what was wrong question and I am tired answer (and go distant) usually come together.

 

If he doesn't contact after coming back from a vacation, then it is time to move on.

[DN]

It may be that the problem is not so much 'what's up?' as 'why wasn't it up?"

[KweenofDenyl]

"dating casually"..."didn't go very well"..."We haven't talked since it happened"..."just tired"...=used.

 

Better to find out now that he isn't worth your time.