despair

[marinaprettyone]

he broke up with me, it seemed so out of the blue. One day he was talking about maybe moving in together and then literally the next day, wham!

I just hate this feeling of despair. I can't seem to get out of it. I know I'm better off, we weren't compatible, but I can't get over the shock or the heartbreak. I'm beautiful, smart, talented, educated, but I feel like there's nothing left.

That's all.

[DN]

Did this have anything to do with your post about his ex?

[blueangel]

I found that if someone ignores me in certain areas of my life, leaving me feel neglected, I either tell them how I feel or ignore them back. Things shouldn't be left as if nothing happened by acting towards them the same as you always do towards them- that you want them. Sure it's good when you're in love, but when the person changes the only way to get them back is to change too. It will take time, but they will regret just leaving since if they mentioned moving in, there are still feelings there.

 

As long as you say, "my door is open to talk about it whenever you wish" then something along the lines of "I want you to do that, but if you ignore those wishes of mine, I will just ignore you even if it hurts"- they may come back to do so. But as that saying go, if you let something go and it doesn't come back, it was never yours in the first place.

 

It's a childish thing when one doesnt give true reasons but some never will. There is too much pride. If they act with pride, it is because you have violated it. Tell them how you feel and that you want to know what happened, but if they don't respond to that- even in time- they weren't worth it. You took the step further and THAT is strength. So remember, just stay strong. You weren't the one who ran away.

 

And even if you DONT want him back- it is still important to talk it out. It's the only way for you to both see something for what it is so that you don't long for it anymore... and you can both grow. Knowing in your mind isn't enough. It's letting the other person know that is most important.

[marinaprettyone]

He called me a few days later and confessed that he had gotten angry at me one night and went to her house and cheated on me. I knew something had happened. I know I'm better off but man does it hurt. He wants to get back together. Has anyone experienced this and gotten over it in the relationship? Or should I just move on?

[stolenshadow]

I read your previous post and I'm afraid things don't look good with this guy.

 

I don't think you can or should trust him, if you went back together and had another fight, how would you know he's not going to use it as an excuse to cheat again?.

 

There are few cases when forgiving leads to a long lasting and nice relationship but this guy is not respecting you and is not respecting his ex's, and you are accepting that he's not good for you, so why stay?.

 

If you want to do it because it hurts to be without him believe me that one day it will hurt a lot more to have stayed, sometimes we have to do things we don't really want to, for our own good.

 

Move on, stop contact and carry on with your life.

[kadvati79]

I cheated on my ex when we were together. We were 1 year into a Long Distance relationship. I had just left the military and moved into a small flat by myself, with a very stressful new job. My relationship with my parents became incredibly sour over my sexuality at that point. One night i was so upset I rang my (then) BF and he was his usual self (he's not good at being comforting).

 

A friend of mine came over to comfort me, and we ended up sleeping together. Afterwards I became SO upset. The next day I hoped straight on the train and told my BF what had happened. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and in a way I never really recovered from it. My ex forgave me in the end but I was hard.