new to sex

[ultra_ultra6]

My girlfriend and I just started having sex this week, and before this we were both virgins so I guess this is just because we're both new at it, but we've done it 6 times now and she's never come. I usually hold off for 20-30 minutes so she can get there but she never does, and really doesn't seem to even get close. What am I doing wrong? She's turned on beforehand and wants to have sex, and I don't think I'm making any major mistakes, but I just can't figure out why she never even gets close.

[RayKay]

You probably aren't doing anything "wrong"...

 

A lot of women take a while to learn to orgasm and to learn to be relaxed enough to do it.

 

Has she ever brought herself to have one through masturbation? If yes, ask her to show you what she did. If not, then chances are she needs to learn what works for her body first before she can know what gets her there, and how to release enough to get there.

 

It's also 90% mental, if she is not secure enough, or is to embarrassed, shy, nervous, stressed, focused on trying to get there...it won't happen. This is why many women don't get to orgasming until much later on.

 

Don't be so hard on yourself.

[amtjrtcet]

RayKay is right. A woman has to find the orgasm on her own, and does have to be relaxed. She's probably nervous, & obviously not experienced. Its not your fault.

[southerngirl]

Dont worry so much about if she gets off or not. As long as she is enjoying it and getting pleasure from it, you are doing it right. Dont beat yourself up over it. Like they said, some woman dont get off until much later in life and believe it or not... some woman never do from sex.

 

Its just one of those things!

[Dako]

You have to study and practice, but at least it's a pleasant subject.

[bobo85]

^^agreed^^ Raykay

 

I'm sure you have done all the foreplay, manual stimulation with the fingers and have done all the oral. Just make sure she is completely relaxed. Make sure there are NO interruptions and that she tells you what she likes.

[havefaith]

I too just started having sex a few months ago, my boyfriend and I were both virgins. He can get me ALL THE TIME with oral and touching, but we've had sex lots of times and I just can't orgasm either. Like all the other women are saying, I guess it takes practice. Whatever you do don't make her feel any stress - one time my boyfriend was just playing around and said "Girl you are taking forever!" and honestly I think that has contributed to my inability as of now

[NJRon]

Girls grow into it... guys learn to control it.

[Shadows Light]

one time my boyfriend was just playing around and said "Girl you are taking forever!" and honestly I think that has contributed to my inability as of now

 

YIKES.. I feel for you. I think I'd do the same thing. If I think about it too much ... or start worrying that it is taking so to long... then it seems that much farther out of reach. And thats ohhhh so frustrating.

 

To the OP. Both of you are fairly NEW to sex. I think the same thing happened to me and I was ready to jump ship. I talked to a GF of mine who was more experienced and she explained to me that 70% of women can only orgasm through oral or manual stimulation of the clitoris. And that I should be more patient with myself. IT HELPED a great deal... knowing something wasn't abyssmally wrong with me. And things did improve. It wasn't until years and years later that I found out I could "O" through intercourse. I'd resigned myself to the fact that I was an ORAL/manual woman.

 

Have patience.