My ex-GF still checking out my web site after 2 years...

[askdan]

Hello everyone!

 

I haven't wrote in this forum for a long time. I would like to have your opinion so here's my story:

 

My ex-GF broke up with me 2 years ago. We had a 6 year relationship. Every since the breakup she has been extremely unhappy, often very sad, and still kept rejecting all of my offers of a reconciliation.

 

I have my personal web site in which I share my pictures with friends and other successful people, including my trips to Europe and New Zealand. My ex sees that I am happy and moving on. I have access to my web statistics, and almost every day, she will visit me web site very lite at night. Even on Friday or Saturday nights around 11PM !!!

 

My question is WHY ? Is she doing this because she misses me? Because she is plotting revenge? Does she regrets the breakup etc..? Should I expect her to contact me in the near future ?? Of course, I am happy that she still finds an interest in what I am doing, but I simply cannot understand her motivation for being my #1 visitor on my personal web site....

 

Your opinion on this thread would greatly be appreciated...

[mystik]

I don't know about your girlfriend but as another female, that is something I just do. If anyone I ever dated has a blog, online photos, a myspace account, I will check it almost every night. I guess it is just interesting to see what they are up to....and for me, doesn't mean that I miss them. It may not have anything to do with your break up. I check anyone I know's blog, updated sites nightly - perhaps it is an internet addiction but oh well . I think for me, I show more interested in my ex's or ex-crushes' sites because of just who they were to me. I mean, they once had a life with me, so it is in a way, almost fascinating to see what they are up to, and how they are doing without me.

[Tex1907]

How do you know its her? Im just curious.... is it from the ip? how do you know its her and not someone else?

[NubianLove]

I disagree, if she's still checking it frequently after 2yrs, something is up. If its been this long, I guess it wouldnt hurt to drop her an email. Mystick, even when ex and I were together I never checked out his website hardly. Something isnt right here

[Lady Bugg]

Just curious...how can you tell if she's been checking your site? Does it have a feature that says WHO has checked?

[RandomAdvisor]

Just curious...how can you tell if she's been checking your site? Does it have a feature that says WHO has checked?

 

Any webmaster can see the IP address of people visiting the site. If he knows her IP address then he knows it's her.

[annie24]

maybe she just wants to see how you're doing. after all, 6 years is a long time to be together. maybe she's just curious.

[Pippa]

I believe its just human curiosity. My ex girlfriend who I only dated for 7 months went onto one of my websites. She read my profile. In it it briefly mentioned her. So after a month of not emailing me. What does she do?

 

She emails me asking I should update my profile! Obviousily because we split up. Whats she said in her email was that she `just` received an e-card from me!? Utter crap. The e-card was sent back in Aug 2005 and we split up Oct 2005. She sent me this email after our emails dried up for a month!

 

Its hard to say why anyone wants to check up on you. Maybe there is a small flame in her still burning for you. Either that you have an interesting life compared to hers!

[Hope75]

What does it matter if you are moved on and happy?

[LittleLisa]

I think it coudl be out of curiosity. I recently registered with Hi5 and did a quick search of my ex-boyfriends and old school friends purely to see what they'd been up to etc. Not because I care for or miss them, mainly to be nose although admittedly I don't go on everynight. Just the once.

 

If she goes on everynight maybe shes just simply interested in your new lifestyle and to see how you've gotten on with your life.

 

It may also be her way of trying to see what shes missing deep down I think she wants to be friends (at least) with you, but her not accepting your reconciliation maybe as she feels (from seeing your website) since your break-up she hasn't achieved as much as you haev done form her life.

[SilverCloud]

Question is why are you keeping track of her checking on your site?

 

If you dont care about her, you shouldnt care if she is on your site.

[mystik]

I disagree, if she's still checking it frequently after 2yrs, something is up. If its been this long, I guess it wouldnt hurt to drop her an email. Mystick, even when ex and I were together I never checked out his website hardly. Something isnt right here

 

People are different, you have a right to your opinion...but there could also be nothing to it. I still check my ex's from the highschool days' sites...it's just something I do. I get bored so I read up on everyone's sites and blogs, my exes happen to be some of those people.

[askdan]

Yes, it's easy to tell by the IP address.

 

I am flattered that she is still curious about me. Of course, I still care about her and would love to hear from her.

 

In her case, she has been very miserable and lonely for the past 2 years. Which is surprising...she is very attractive and educated, but she still hasen't found a new partner after 2 years.

 

She is the one who initiated the breakup as a result of too many arguments, but 1 year after the breakup, she told me that she is still healing emotionally and that she was not over the breakup (even though she still doesn't want any reconciliation...at least now now anyways.)

[annie24]

How do you know that she is miserable? When was the last time you talked to her?

[pocky_biscuz]

Hey guys....i haven't been to this site lately but something simliar happened to me so i came to and i'm glad i'm not the only one going through this. I was checking my friendster and saw that my ex was checking out my page. There's a function on friendster that tells you who viewed your profile so i know it's him. He dumped me 7months ago and i went through hell and back. Now i wonders why he's snooping around looking at my stuff. He doesn't have a profile...he just signed up to look at people's pages....so it had me thinking....but you know what?

 

THINKING TOO MUCH WILL DRIVE YOU NUTS!!!

 

People are generally curious. I'll admit that i still check out my ex's xanga......there's no reason why they can't do the same. The difference it's that they are the dumpers and looking into the dumpees' sites. That's what driving us dumpees nuts... I say don't think about it too much. It'll just give you a headache that you don't need.

[trident]

No point agonizing over it. You can either take comfort in the fact that the person may care enough to want to be connected to your life in some manner or think of them as being no different than all the other people that looked @ the site.

 

Either way, does it really matter? You'll only know what they're thinking if *they* tell you. You won't divine it.

[stolenshadow]

I think it goes a bit beyond curiosity, I believe she could be obsessed, she might like having a link with you, she doesn't want you back, she's just lonely and connects with that person she knows loved and cared about her to feel better.

 

If she contacted you one day I would be cautious that she does is because she realized she made a mistake breaking up with you and not because her life hasn't been as stable as yours or as how she had planned.

[askdan]

Yes, all of your point of views make sense. Nobody knows for sure as I don't have a crystal ball. But I agree with Rina Apple, thinking too much will drive you nuts - lol

 

P.S. Again, the EX checked it out (the web site) a few hours ago, shortly after midnight...her 5th visit since the beginning of April...weird.

[annie24]

why don't you just ask her to stop checking your website?

[Andy 11]

Reverse the situations and ask yourself if you would do it because I think I would check from time to time. I'd say it's human curiosity !!

 

Could be wrong though ...