From friends to lovers?

[Meiso]

I was just wondering if anyone thinks it possible to move from a very close friendship to lovers. Is it impossible? How likely is it when there are heavy mixed signals from the woman? Anyone have an opinion on the best way to get the woman to stop sitting on the fence? Let's pretend that the face to face conversation thing is out of the question, what can a guy change to make that woman really work at it? I'm not saying I would, but in some situations is it morally wrong to target someone's emotional weaknesses if in the end it might make them realize the truth? Thanks in advance...

[segagirl]

Meiso....I think it is possible to move from a very close friendship to lovers. What kind of mixed signals are we talking?

And yes it is wrong to target a womans emotional weakness....esp if it is for gain on your part. It is a tad selfish and is likely to backfire.

I think the best way to make the change depends on what is going on now, meaning is she playing games, is she scared...she may be the type that just needs you to back away....or she may be the type that you will just have to make the romantic moves....and I mean romance.

Sorry just it would help to hear the details....

[Meiso]

A couple days after I posted this: Bleh... Haven't heard from her in two days. Messaged her tonight and she told me how she's been spending time with other guys, just as friends. She knows this would make me jealous, and acted like she couldn't understand why I'd care. Her words were pretty sharp with me, and she sounded like she was bothered that I asked what she was up to. I was just curious, and she responded with "Oh well we're just friends... I can't have friends??"... I insisted she was acting differently with me, she denied it and responded that I "obviously don't know her at all". This is the first time she's ever been so confrontational with me. It almost seems like she was trying to make things uncomfortable, push me away, or start an argument. Is it possible that this was her goal? She wouldn't even meet me to talk about in person. This is terrible. I'm crushed.

 

Sorry that was really long but I think that should provide lots of background from where my problem is coming from.

[segagirl]

She is for sure very confused! And yes it is possible she was trying to "pick of fight" sometimes people just do these things. I really think you need to take a step back from her, and give a rest for awhile. She is tearing at your heart strings my dear.

[kdreger]

It all sounds like bad news to me.

 

If I didn't know better she appears to enjoy tormenting you - she likes the feeling of "power" over you. Every time you tell her you're interested, she says she's not and then gets more intense.

 

Get the hell out. All it will lead to is grief. Get a normal girl around who does what she means and means what she does.

[Meiso]

Guys I just wanted to say thanks to each of you. Every little input from all perspectives does wonders to open up my eyes. I really do think she's confused... And I used to worry that I was nuts for thinking she gave me mixed signals. Maybe she gets off on knowing I'm dedicated to her. I know she's been cheated on in the past, has been treated poorly, and has little trust for guys. I'm starting to realize it's not my problem. I won't shut her out, but I'm taking several steps back for SURE. Thanks again.