Am i making a big deal out of nothing? Guys i need your opinion especially

[heavensent]

Sweetie, these are all questions that he is the only one that can really answer them. Sure, we can all tell you how we interpret them, but the only one who can tell you what it truly meant is HIM. You need to ask him where his feelings stand for her and you need to tell him how much this hurt you. He needs to respect that as your boyfriend and make sure it never happens again. But the REASONS he did this, only he can clarify that. You need to sit down with your man and have a serious talk. Good luck!

[TheLegend]

me, personally, I'd be either a little offended or just a little sad because that'd mean my gf doesn't trust me, but again, it depends on the person he is, and his priorities. For me, trust in a relationship comes in top 3..

[annie24]

Sweetie, these are all questions that he is the only one that can really answer them. Sure, we can all tell you how we interpret them, but the only one who can tell you what it truly meant is HIM. You need to ask him where his feelings stand for her and you need to tell him how much this hurt you. He needs to respect that as your boyfriend and make sure it never happens again. But the REASONS he did this, only he can clarify that. You need to sit down with your man and have a serious talk. Good luck!

 

YES! I agree very strongly. It is best to talk to your boyfriend, figure out where he stands, and then figure out if you are ok with the situation and if you trust your boyfriend.

[DN]

Oh and to DN - sorry if I offended you..I was speaking in a joking manor.. but in a lot of ways guys are dense to this kind of stuff. I had my husbands friends making comments to him to look at a girls breasts with me standing right there...don't they realize this is going to get them in TROUBLE?? Some guys just don't think that just because they are single their actions and thoughts are different than a married mans should be. I hope I'm making sense.

 

The problem with speaking in a joking manner is that it still offensive. And girls can also be just as dense with the things they say about other men (or movie stars for instance) in front of their boyfriends. If you substituted 'people' for 'guys' it would not be offensive and would be much more accurate. And it might help the original poster see things a little differently.

[curious81]

When he comes to visit me, usually all the people we go visit are people from his college. This girl is from his college, i dont know what amount of time they went out or anything.. Because i never asked about his relationship with her. But he wouldnt see her alot, bc she lives in the same city that i do. She doesnt live where he is... And then he said well i dont think she cares about me anymore, bc she is sleeping with these other guys.. Which doesnt mean anything... Just bc she is sleeping with other people doesnt mean she doesnt have feelings for him. I just dont think hanging out with him and his friends, her included is anything anyone would want to do, am i right or wrong for thinking this?

[TheLegend]

Yes, I think you're right. If he said that he doesn't think she cares about HIM anymore, that might mean that he was after her when you came in to the scene, and since you were "there already" he started going out with you. That'd justify him taking you to there.. To make her jealous & make her want/care about him or just to see if she cares about him..

[DN]

Ive been sad since Saturday night, which was when this happened... And i cant help but wonder why

1) he told her sorry for the way things turned out

2) telling me she was going to be there 5 min before we got there.. i dont want to hang around with his frickin ex.. im not being immature, but why would anyone want to hang out with there B/f or G/f's ex?

 

Maybe to show them that he or she now belongs to you.

 

But the bottom line in all of this is: has his behaviour made you want to break up with him?

[curious81]

I am going to talk to him this weekend and get things clarified.. Im not going to tell him anything over the phone or via email.. I appreciate everyone giving their advice. I understand that he is the only one that can tell me what he truly meant. But i wanted to hear what other people thought about this, bc i wanted to make sure i wasnt making a big deal out of nothing....

[TheLegend]

Good luck Don't forget to come back and tell us!

[curious81]

I will most definitely let you'll know what happens

[annie24]

No, I don't think you're making a big deal. Something is bothering you and you just want clarification. It's totally alright to ask what is going on.

[WildChild]

OK, this is going to be off the wall, but it could be a possibility.

 

First, he runs into his ex. They say hi, start talking "How are you" kind of thing. There had been a lot of animosity between them along with avoiding each other, which most of the times happens. As they talk, he or she realized that the other isn't so bad. Yeah we broke up, but he/she is not the monster I had in my head since the breakup. To make peace, so there is not so much tension in the future, one of them (he or she) says "Hey, I'm sorry it ended the way it did." Meaning, the arguing, the not calling to even let the other one know it was done, or whatever horrible thing happened at the very end of the relationship--->the icing on the cake that led to them to not talk for however long. It doesn't necessarily mean "Hey I'm sorry it ended the way it did cause I still have feelings for you" it could just be a "nicety" to end the future formalities and animosity.

 

His not telling you about her being at the party until 5 mins before that probably has everything to do with how you would or would not react. First, he may think I really want her to go to this party with me but if she knows the ex is there she will never go. Second, knowing that he made "amends" with is ex obviously may not sit comfortable with you. Making amends is not the end of the world, but actually a positive step within one's self to rid any hatred or animosity you feel, which wears on anyone after time. It takes a lot of energy to hate/dislike someone.

 

As for the thing on MySpace, I have no clue. Since it something that you and anyone else can access and see, then approach him about it. You have every right as his gf to ask what that comment means .