Moving past cheating

[screwed up]

I have been with my fiance for almost three years, about a year into the relationship things started to get a little weird. to make a long story short she was having and affair with a co-worker. This destroyed me but for somereason we remained together. As you can imagine we had no sex life at all during the cheating and recovery stage. I can honestly say that we have as good a relationship now as we ever did but the one akward thing is our sex life. we have been intimate only one time this year, I have done everythig from joke about to have a serious conversation but nothing has help. I don't even know that I know how to begin anything with her anymore. Has anyone faced a problem like this before?

[Veronique]

Hi. Which of you doesn't want to participate in the sex? If it is you then maybe you haven't let go of what happened, if it is her then maybe she hasn't dealt with the embarrassment and grief that comes from being the one who is unfaithful.

[kdreger]

Sorry to say this but how are you sure she isn't getting it elsewhere right now?

 

I mean once in a year?!?!!

 

The from a person who had an affair?

 

It all sounds strange to me.

 

If nothing works, it might be time to move on and learn from the experience.

[bzborow1]

I agree with kdreger. Are you sure she's not cheating again? If there is no sex life someone has lost interest in the other, which one of you is it? The only reason we put this out there is because many of us guys believe in the "once a cheater always a cheater" philosophy. You can break that cycle, but you had to show her that her actions are intolerable, and by taking her back so soon you probably didn't send her any message other then, "its ok to cheat".

 

I don't know the whole situation, I don't know you, and I don't know her. But from my past experience, I would take a long hard look at whether or not this relationship is getting either of you two anywhere.