another low, why does this always happen?

[neolithic]

hi all..

i'm going through a terrible low right now.. i feel completely lonely, i don't get called nearly as often as my roommate (in fact, only my mom really calls me!), though i'm definitely pickier and i never had to hang out with those people as much (since i had a boyfriend and i spent all my time with him), and i feel like i can't even make him, my (ex)boyfriend, like me like he used to. we're just dating, but it's hard. we're having a good time and stuff, but i want him to be smitten again. i feel completely inept right now. i feel like i just don't belong.

 

i go through these lows every now and then.. and i know they'll end. but they are so hard to deal with. right now, when i need the most support, i get the least.

 

maybe he can feel me being sort of distant, being absorbed in my thoughts and feelings of isolation. maybe that's what's keeping him worried and asking what's wrong. but nothing's wrong.. really..

 

i need hope or comfort or anything. why does this always happen at the worst times? i'm also in the process of maybe transferring universities back home. i feel like i'm lying to everyone.. i feel like it's futile to try to get close to anyone anymore. i'm a wreck right now

[Alabama]

As hard as it to hold it all in and not burden anyone with your problems, tell someone about this. I have this same problem. Whenever I feel depressed I keep it in a times, but that is not a good way to handle things. We cannot lie to the people we love, since we feel we won't hurt them this way, but we're only hurting them more by not telling. The sooner you tell someone who cares, as you said your ex for example, the sooner you can get your problem solved. Or have you thought about exercise? It's a good stress reliever.

[neolithic]

it's not really that, i just feel sort of unwanted. i'm not really depressed, i mean.. i've been there, and i've done that. it isn't the same. i just feel like no one wants me right now. few people contact me, i feel isolated, etc. usually i have no problem, but right now, it's just hard.

 

i'm also looking for ways to sort of put my ex at ease and maybe.. "relight the spark"?

[Alabama]

Well if you're feeling sad because of isolation, than why not try to make more friends? When I was early into my second semester of college, I felt depressed because I hadn't made friends. Yet when I opened up to people and actually started to talk to people, then things started to feel better. As for your ex, is it really such a good idea to keep your isolation to yourself? I know you want to get back together with him, but isn't one of the few people who can really help you?

[daffycat]

Hi Neolithic,

 

Sorry to hear your are having a down patch...

 

I get the old heebie jeebies too, even though it passes in a few days, and I realise that actually, I DO have a lot of friends, I just hibernated for a while...

 

However, in your situation, I think that this emotional weight you are carrying around regarding your ex is exhausting you, which of course will make you feel alone.

 

Have you talked to him at all, or do you feel that you would be pushing the issue?

 

I know you are trying to make you relationship with him work again, and so you probably don't want to put any unwarranted pressure of him. But put it this way, he will want to be with you because of who you are, not some kind of stepford-wife girlfriend who hides her problems because she is scared to show him how she is feeling, scared of rocking the already fragile boat.

 

 

It is hard to get the balance right when you're trying to patch things up again, but if you are really feeling this low, then hey, go talk to him, and tell him the truth. Don't get upset, just let him know calmly that you would maybe like a bit more input from him, you are feeling like a bit of comfort and ask him if he is ready for that right now. You may be surprised by his answer.

 

Don't feel alone sweets! big hug, hope you feel better soon!