to marry young

[zb]

of.... first off the stat on divorce that someone mentioned..... how many were marriages that only occurred so a child would not be born out of wedlock? A large number of young people marry today for the wrong reason... just because you are with someone and get them pregnant does not mean you should marry........ I have seen people who just had a one nighter at a party get pregnant and then marry and of coarse it does not last.

 

you have to have mutual respect for the person you marry... if you truly respect and admire the person you will have more to hold on to when the love light dims... and it will from time to time. If you find someone that you truly respect and they respect you... keep them....... there is no reason why a couple in there young 20's can't make a marriage last as long as the right things are included in the relationship.........

 

and about people "changing between 20 to 25"........ well people change throughout their lives........ we never stop learning, growing..... we get new attitudes/views........ and life does have stages of stress.... are you going to wait until after you mid life crisis to settle down? Many couples divorce around age 40......... so if your waiting for the perfect age to get married.... you need to wait until after 40 if you have that mind set...... I don't know about you but I would not want to be 60 when my child turns 20......

 

you have to find someone who shares a similiar personality as you....... and mutual respect is everything in a lasting relationship....... I was in a 4 year relationship .........I thought I was going to marry the girl... but guess what..... she did not truly respect who I was..... she snapped at everything I did..... and I really did nothing wrong... I was just being myself........ but I was naive and I thought that is just how things are........now I know what I need to look for.......... basically what I am saying is don't settle...... in time someone will come into your life and you will have instant chemistry....... that is the case with the girl I am with now...... we open up to ourselves faster then we have to anyone before...... she is a little bit nervous...... hell I am to....... and we do see each other has potential marriage partners....... but that will not be for a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng time........ the best thing to do is not rush into anything....... and grow with person your with........ yes big changes happen between 20 to 25...... but they also happen between 25 to 30 and so on and so on.............you can't escape that. You also have to ask yourself if you with the person for the right reason....... don't let your hormones control you...... lust marriages never work.........

 

basically you have to have similiar interest and allow the person to grow......... you should want to see the person your with grow and grow from that yourself........ that is how this stuff works........I have seen men in their 60's who have never been able to settle down ......I know a girl who married in her teens and is still happily married.......... it is a question of the maturity of the individual......... and what ever you do........ do not get married just because a baby has came into the picture.......... unless you know for a fact that you respect the woman.......... love can fade in and out..... true respect never dies.......

[Genesis]

I think you are right, however the big problem is that many people are not settled with themselves until they are in their late 20's.

 

 

I think that it is best to wait to get married. There should not be any rush, I have had many friends who have got married when they were young 22, 23, 24 and get divorced 2-3 years later b/c many people are not sure of themselves yet. They do not want to miss their youth and why should they. People are too dependant on their BF or GF that they lose their sense of self. I did this and I regret it!

 

Why do you think people use the same line I need to find myself when they break up with someone b/c in some ways it is true. Why marry young when you are not sure? Your wants and needs change, I love my ex to death, but I know now that he would make a horrible husband b/c our wants and need do not match.

[segagirl]

Well I see my post stirred up some feeling...glad to see it....this is just a copy I put in the other post, think it fits here as well...

 

I hope my point did not come accross as don't get married because of the fear of separation. My idea was in regards to the question at hand, which was...."when is a good age to marry". My point of divorce was merely...don't take it lightly.

 

I agree that many will never be ready, and many will fail no matter what the age. But what I am saying is the longer you wait, the more ready you become and the more personal insight you have.

Now days we live so many years, and staying with one person is very tough...just seems that we all have a lifetime to grow and learn with one another.... why hurry?

 

And lastly, the reason I said 25 is I think 25 is just a nice age to start that chapter, of course we will all grow...but before 25 you are just starting to know yourself...hard to be a strong partner before you even have a clue where you are headed in life.

and of course everyone is different! But in relation to the question...this is my thought.

(insert some info i found)

"Figures released last year from the National Center for Health Statistics

found nearly half of marriages in which the bride is 18 or younger end in

separation or divorce within 10 years. For brides 25 and older, half as many

marriages break up."

--From an Associated Press story printed as "More teens jumping the broom"

[netman]

It's funny that I'm reading this post today, because since this past weekend I've been having some doubts about my relationship with my g/f; I'm 27 and she's 22. We've been together almost a year and we've already been talking about getting married after she finishes college in 2 years. But now that we've gotten closer, there's certain things about her personality that just annoy me. I've made my statements about my dislikes, but I don't think that it helped any because she still continues to do those same things. Relationships are not about changing someone (and it shouldn't be), but I do believe compromise to a certain degree is not unreasonable. Sometimes I wonder to myself, "can I handle living with this annoyance for the rest of my life?"

 

She doesn't know it, but these little things have made me unhappy and it leaves me with doubts about us. I love her and we otherwise have a great relationship, but I don't know if I should reconsider this commitment or just let it go and go with the flow . Any thoughts from anyone?

[Geminiwolf]

I agree with you. No one should get married because of a child. ( have that t-shirt)

 

But i also wanted to point out at 18 i was ready for marriage home family and the whole thing. I agree with you changes take place all through your life. When the marriage is messed up in the first place some of these changes cause it to break ( along with others).

 

I think it depends on the person and what has been in their lives that make that person ready for marriage or not.

 

Good post btw!