Meeting up on Sunday - all advice welcome.

[Clarkmeister]

To give you a background to my "break" with my girlfriend is on thi thread

 

To update that, we have still had slight contact during the break but nothing too heavy. Then the day before her birthday I sent her a text and called her babe which she replied to but asked me to please dont call her babe. This was a kick in the teeth to me and I went full NC even tho it was her birthday.

 

Anyway on her birthday she text me and apologised and asked if we could meet the next day. I couldn't because of work but have suggested this Sunday as a time to talk to her about things.

 

Also, if you have read my original post, her mum has actually moved abroad today and I did send her a text this morning to see is she was ok, which she responded to immediately. She says she is fine but I think she might be a bit emotional.

 

Anyway, enough background, what I am after is some advice / tips about how i should approach our lunch "date" on Sunday ? Any DO's and DO Not's will be appreciated.

[xblondyx]

Be yourself, be her FRIEND. Nothing more. Don't talk about your relationship, if she wants to talk about it, she will. She was the one who wanted the "break" so give her it, be friendly but not overly friendly so you don't scare her off. If she is emotional, you don't want to push her. Let her talk and listen.

[DN]

Did she say why she wanted to meet? That would be an important piece of information that may colour the advice you get.

[Clarkmeister]

Did she say why she wanted to meet? That would be an important piece of information that may colour the advice you get.

I was trying to arrange meeting her to give her a birthday gift but she was a bit cold with me on Monday. I then went NC and didn't contact her on Tue (her birthday). Thats when she made contact and asked if we could meet on Wed but I was away with work. It was me that suggested that we meet Sunday to talk about things, she did agree that we needed to talk.

 

I am now at the point where I have moved on with my life without her, however I still want her to be part of it. I dont want to go back to how things were, I want a new beginning. I'm not too sure where she is in terms of things, as has been explained before she has alot of things to deal with emotionally at the moment.

 

What I do know is she loves me and we were very much in love and that wasn;t so long ago.

[DN]

I read your previous post and am not sure that you are wise in continuing to see her. At least for some time. I suspect many emotions will be brought to the surface at the meeting and not all of them positive ones.

 

I think you should be pleasant but a little distant. Give her the present and talk about anything and everything - except your relationship. Even if she brings it up I would answer anything she says briefly and then change the subject. Unless she says she wants to get back together and I would hold out little hope for that.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Here's my two cents, take it for what its worth...

 

1st - don't call her babe

2nd - LISTEN not only to her words but her body language and facial expressions

this requires a little less talking on your part and actual paying attention

3rd - expect nothing and don't be surprised if you actually get it