Have any of the ladies on this board

[lovecrazy]

had an abortion?

 

What were your thoughts afterwards?

 

Was it the right decision? Emotional impact, I believe is really hard, how did it effect you? Your partner? the relationship?

 

yes I am pregnant, and I am still deciding, I hate saying this but I think it might be best!

[WildChild]

I have not had an abortion myself, however I have friends and family who have. Most of them say there isn't a day goes by that they don't think about it whether it is the anniversary of when they did it, or when the childs birthday would have been. I have however had two miscarriages, and whether the pregnancies were planned or not, I can tell you I still feel such a loss.

[vesper]

My mother had three abortions and when I found that out as her child it really caused me emotional pain.

 

I always wonder what my other brothers and/or sisters could have possibley been like....

 

She does not know I know - my aunt and grandmother told me later..

 

I would personally not do it - although I have used the morning after pill and regreted that!! can you imagine an abortion - possibility of life??

 

 

[lovecrazy]

I feel so bad for even thinking it, I already think of myself as a baby killer, for even thinking it...but the timing right now is bad....Although I only have myself to blame for having sex....

 

thanks for your replies

[DN]

I feel so bad for even thinking it, I already think of myself as a baby killer, for even thinking it...but the timing right now is bad....Although I only have myself to blame for having sex....

 

thanks for your replies

 

If you are feeling so bad now you should perhaps consider how badly you might feel once you have terminated the pregnancy. I recommend you seek some counselling but try to avoid both pro-choice and pro-life groups - seek unbiased advice.

[Ians Mommy]

With how hard I'm taking it by miscarrying one of the twins and how hard it is to get through this, I can't even imagine knowing that I killed the baby myself.

 

Yet, there are certain ways I believe in abortion. If it's a case where the baby is highly deformed or with some terminal disease, or if the mother was raped or it was incest, I believe abortion should be a choice..

 

But that's just how I feel, everyone's opinion is different and that's how it should be.

[fishrrshortae]

I got pregnant at 19, had my son at 20.

 

I also considered abortion because the timing was horrible.

 

The night he was born, I held him and literally cried my eyes out, thinking about how I even considered it .. how I never would have held him.. how could I have even thought about doing that to my own child? I would never tell someone not to have an abortion, because it's their choice, but I made the best decision of my life when I decided to have my son. It is such hard work you can't even imagine, but he is the love of my life and has given me happiness I never even dreamed was possible.

[ElektraHere]

Hi There,

 

I have had an abortion. I would have an 8 year old right now had I chose to have the baby.

 

I never thought I would be in that position to have to choose but I was stupid, had a one night stand with someone, and then was pregnant. We used protection but at the time I was not on the pill so all we used was a condom and obviously it didnt work. I was SO against abortion before I was faced with the desicion.

 

It isnt something I am proud of but I have no regrets about it. I do think of it almost everyday. I don't really remember too much about that day. I was sort of in a daze. I had a wonderful friend who went with me to the clinic, I also had the support of my mother too.

 

No one can tell you which way to go you have to go with what your heart tells you. Just know you are NOT a bad person and you are NOT a killer. I know there are those who will argue that point but until they can walk in those shoes they will never understand it.

 

I hope that helps a bit. If you would like you can PM me anytime.

Good Luck

[serve_the_people]

DN, EVERYONE has a bias. Its best to see advice from both pro life and pro choice groups, so you can understand all the options. By seeking these groups, maybe you will become aware of options that you weren't aware of before....

 

If you are feeling so bad now you should perhaps consider how badly you might feel once you have terminated the pregnancy. I recommend you seek some counselling but try to avoid both pro-choice and pro-life groups - seek unbiased advice.

[Cadence308]

I haven't ever had an abortion, but know a few people who have. I believe it is a personal choice and one that you should not take lightly. If you do, you will think about it for the rest of your life, as others have pointed out. On the other hand, timing is bad. I don't think that I could ever do that to my own child just because I made a mistake. But, then again, I date women so chances of that happening are none.

[lovecrazy]

Thank you for your relpies....I feel like I am alone....

 

I am scared....

 

your insights aqre really helping btw....thanks

[WildChild]

I am presuming that your bf continues to feel you should have the abortion? Are you scared because you are pregnant? Are you scared because you have been put in the position by your bf to terminate the pregnancy, however you originally thought you would keep it?

 

My exhusband wanted me to abort our first son. I wouldn't. I made it clear to him that I would raise the child on my own if that was the case, and would hold him with no responsibility if he chose to walk away. Part of my thought was that by aborting this child in me, I was taking away a part of both he and I. The other posters have made very good points, it is in the end up to the individual. I feel you should find someone you can confide in that is close to you. Abortions can be a very touchy subject and you need someone close to you that will support you either way.

[RayKay]

I think it really depends on you as a person and what your reasons are.

 

If you really don't feel it's the right choice for you, and you already are feeling it's wrong....but are doing it as you feel no other option or are pressured...you are likely to regret it and suffer a lot of grief afterwards.

 

If you are doing it as you feel it is the right decision for you, not with pressure from others, realize it won't be easy but you will seek the right counselling, while you may reflect on it many times, you may not regret it and you may go forward knowing it was the best decision for you at that time in your life.

 

I think you should find a local clinic (like Planned Parenthood) that is considered pro-choice (which contrary to belief does not mean 'pro abortion' but rather the freedom to choose from all the options (parenthood, adoption, abortion) without pressure) and discuss your choices with them, your fears, worries and so forth.

[lovecrazy]

WildChild, thank you for your thoughts

 

The boyfriend really hasnt pressured anything. He is not that supportive in anything right now...I am having a hard time with him as of right now. Rather I am a complete wreck or not, he should be there, and I feel like he isnt.

 

My family has just basically told me to do what I feels right, I have spoken to my sister who has had an abortion, and she has stated that she did it because she wasnt ready to have a baby, and that she didnt want to struggle...She feels bad for doing it, but she still believes it was the right choice.

 

I have a friend however, who seems to think this is about her, and she is not being supportive whatsoever...and she keeps telling people my business, which I have expressed to her not to. And I am highly upset at that.

 

No one is pressuring me to do anything, besides the friend, which she feels I should keep the baby.

 

I am on both sides of the fence here, that is why I cant make a choice. I feel terrible, but I am thinking it maybe the best choice for me right now, at the position I am in my life.

 

Does anyone know of some type of group online, that specializes in this? I cant seem to find one.

 

 

 

Also RayKay thank you for you kind words, I am going to try and get in touch with a clinic..

[Hope75]

RayKay offers some sound advice.

 

Everyone has different thoughts and experiences with abortion, it's a very hot topic as I am sure you have noticed.

 

The important thing is doing that is right for YOU and YOUR SITUATION, not what anyone else thinks.

 

The bottom line is if you keep this baby YOU are the one who will raise him or her and be responsible for him or her. forever. If you have an abortion, YOU will deal with the consequences of that too, on your shoulders.

 

I know you are not really in a good place to have a child right now, being young, unmarried, living with your parents and with a boyfriend who is not crazy at the idea of becoming a parent and who may or may not stick around.

 

Other women have been where you are, had the baby, and done OK with it, been able to raise the baby and afford everything the child needs. Others have struggled indefinitely as a single parent with little income or resources. Some women in your place have had an abortion, been Ok with it and moved on with their lives. Others have trouble recovering emotionally from it and will always carry that pain with them.

 

It's a very individual decision- one that you (and your bf) have to decide on, because in the end it's YOU who will live with your choice, and no one else.

 

Good luck and keep up updated.

[WildChild]

Winschica, I wish you were here to give you a hug! Honey, you have to do what is best for you and your life. You have some time yet to sort through these emotions and decisions, and in the end you will decide what is best for you right now. Also, I didn't mean to come accross as saying your boyfriend was "pressuring" you. What I meant, and it didn't come accross the screen that way is that his thought on what should happen has added pressure to your decision. I'm sure your thoughts are very scrambled as is his. I wish you the best honey. It will be o.k. either way.

[lovecrazy]

Thanks again for your advice...

 

The thing about my boyfriend is he has no emtions, he is ok at giving support. and it irritates me so much...but that is him!

 

And everyones advice has helped...

 

I believe in my current situation, I am not ready for a child.

 

Thanks again!

[RayKay]

Win, I am sending you a PM shortly

[ElektraHere]

Hi There,

 

I would just like to add I do NOT feel like a bad person or a sinner for the decision to have an abortion. I assume that I am the only one on this thread who has walked down that hard road so on that note Winschica I have experience on what it is like. Be it the emotions I felt or the physical part of it too.

 

Yes I could have had the baby and raised it alone, struggled, and then later would have to answer the question "who and where is my dad?" I wouldn't have a clue?

 

I think it is great those of you who had considered it and chose to have your baby. I was in a place where that just wanst going to be feasible. I consider myself a VERY sensitive person so yes I was worried that I would have some real regrettful and remorseful feelings afterwards. I do at times but they don't wrack my mind day in and day out. Does that make me a bad person? No it makes me human I made a mistake, had a choice to make and then went forward with my life.

 

I don't think anyone can tell you how you will react if you go through with it. Just know if you do have the abortion remember you are obviously making this choice with a lot of thought and consideration. Do not let others or what you see in the papers or t.v discount your desicion. Ultimately it is YOUR desicion.

[yeawutever]

Well dunno about abortions that much and I'm not really against it. It would be horrible if we couldn't abort, it's our desicion if we want to have the baby or not. But I do believe in some cases, an abortion can be apply. 1) If you were raped

2) If both you and your partner used protection, didn't want a baby and yet you get pregnant

3) You had an insest relation

Then other than that, you can always put the baby in adoption.

[lovecrazy]

Rant

 

Well my boyfriend again hasnt come through on the support. He was tired so he decided to stay home from work today. I asked him to meet me for lunch...and he hasnt even called yet...he has bout 10 minutes to get here....I am so sick of being alone in this. Good Lord!

[ElektraHere]

Well I hate to say if you are already alone in this do you think that will change?

Do what YOU feel you need to do.

[lovecrazy]

Well I hate to say if you are already alone in this do you think that will change?

Do what YOU feel you need to do.

 

 

Thanks...and no I feel it wont change!

[ElektraHere]

Let me know if there is anything I may be able to help answer for you.

[lovecrazy]

Thanks Elecktra-

 

What were your first thoughts after the abortion? How long would you say it took you to get back to a normal routine? Did you have depression?

 

Win called me when he woke up, he said that he will come up to my work, and we will go get some dinner and talk. I am still torn on this decision.

 

Lord why do things have to be so hard?