She is scared of me.

[Big Three]

Hey, I did something that I wish I had never did right after it was done to a really close female friend of mine. Since then, I can see that she is not the same with me. We do not hang out as often with only the two of us. When we talk I can see in her eyes she isnt like she used to be with me. Like, before I could put my hand on her shoulder and it was alright. Last night, I reached out to pick something really close to her leg and she jumped back...If I had done that before she would have stayed there and my hand could have touch her leg and it would have been ok. I have tried to talk about what happened with her one time. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was. I started talking but as soon she figured what I was talking about she closed herself, blushed and didnt say a word. I said I was sorry but seeing no reaction I quickly stopped talking about it.

 

What can I do to redeem myself ? How can I get our relation ( friendship ) to what it use to be ? I just can't stand it has it is right now... I am still seeing her almost on a daily basis. I am wondering if I should trying talking again about what happened. Get her to talk to me about it,maybe tell me how much she hated me for doing it or something. I just want to get over what happened and make her understand that she doesnt have to be scared of me.

 

I want to be her friend again.

 

Thanks.

[zpivat]

What exactly did you do to her?

[coollady1957]

I was about to ask the same thing, about what happened before. It might help for us to undertsand if you do not mind disclosing what happened.

[melrich]

It's a bit hard to advise without knowing what you did or the degree of it. Whatever, it sounds like some sort of trust was broken. If that's the case you should respect her feelings and back off now. It may be that if you give her the respect she wants and work to re-gain her trust that you might get back to where you were but as I say that is hard to tell without knowing the extent of what you did. There are some things which probably would never be forgiven.

[DN]

Did you make a move on your best friend's girlfriend?

[coollady1957]

I read your other post also about your best friends girlfriend that you can't seem to get out of your mind. You mentioned you have feelings for her but only as a friend . So is this the same girl you are speaking of now?

 

So I was wondering as well, if you made a move on her, or said something , or physically did something that would make her a bit scared or afraid?

[Mrocza]

Scared of you??

 

I don't really know what you could do to cause her to be scared of you and yet still be talking to you. :s

 

enlighten us.

[Big Three]

Did you make a move on your best friend's girlfriend?

 

Yes I did. I realized it was a mistake and don't know if I should try again explaining it to her. It just feels weird that as I said, when I brought that up she stop talking and said nothing. After a minute or so of silence we got back to what we were talking. And while I feel she is more distant, we still hang out together. Its like she was trying to do has if nothing happened, thought it obviously affected her.

[moink75]

Could it be that maybe she is uncomfortable with what happened and does not want to risk losing her boyfriend, and you a friend?

[Mrocza]

Ya...bad idea. I highly doubt things will ever REALLY be the same between you guys..especially since you haven't even talked about it.

 

Does your best friend know?

 

I suggest talking to her, however awkward it is, and apologizing; you were out of line, it wasn't something you're proud of;you don;t want it to get between you.

 

TALK ABOUT IT. It'll just get worse.

[coollady1957]

I agree that she must be feeling a bit uncomfortable around you after your making a move on her. Maybe you can tell her you really need to get it cleared up between you two and make your apology.

 

You have been spending alot of time with her and her boyfriend, and some with just her. I would suggest not spending time where its just the two of you.

 

Apologize, explain, and promise to never do it again. It would be a horrible thing to become between her and her BF, which is your best friend. Never should anyone make moves on their best friends girl. I understand you are sorry it happened.

[DN]

I agree - apologise and explain and promise you will not do it again. And then give her time to realise that you meant it and don't expect her to just forget about it immediately.

[agualibre]

i would definitely not touch her.

[southerngirl]

yeah, talk about it because if you dont you could stand to lose both your best friend and the girl too!

[Big Three]

Hey,thanks for all your advice. I well, *didnt* really listen to them thought. I hang out with her the whole week. I spent most of the day with her, we went to the theater, restaurant and other things. I had planned on talking about what happened later in the week but really I forgot about it. Until SHE decided for the first time to talk about it to me. Granted it was short but she said that she had heard my apologizes and that she forgave me. She still wants me to be part of her life as a great friend and so do I. I am happy with the whole week I spent with her and I think I can say that ive learned a lesson out of this. I dont want to loose this friend and I will find love elsewhere I guess. After it had happened I felt really bad and writing here helped me get the pain I was feeling out. I think just writing about it here allowed me to work a way out of this. Thank you.