sbrew21 Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 SO my ex and I went to dinner on Tuesday and it went well. He IMed me the following day and we had small talk on the computer. So I haven't heard from him since then. I really want to ask him to do something again but I don't know if I should? I don't know if he will call me again or not and I don't want to be completely patient and then get shattered all over again. I am so torn because I want to see him really bad and he is a super shy guy so I know its hard for him to be assertive. I just don't know what the right thing to do is. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 I think you know what the right thing is.... He's the one that broke up with you, you're the one that asked him out again. However, the ball is in his court now if he wants to continue seeing you. I don't buy the whole "shy" thing. After all, you two dated for like, 7 months, and you were nice to him the last time you saw him. I think he knows that he can call you and ask you out to dinner somewhere. stay away from that phone! Link to comment
Scout Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 When I went through what you're going through with your ex, he said "keep in touch" after our first get together. I think about two weeks later I called, and he quickly agreed to do something. Remember, for now you two are "slowly getting reacqainted as friends." So, keep the pace slow here. I would honestly suggest waiting a couple of weeks before you contact him. It will show you're not desperate, and I think he really needs to see a few things from you right now: patience and the ability to live your life without him being the sole focus. If you want him to relax his guard again, I suggest this low key approach, with longer intervals between contacting him.What's more, if you wait two more weeks, I bet you'll actually hear from him first. Link to comment
Scout Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 Let me add, weekends are particularly vulnerable times during a break up. So, try to get some things on your calendar. Get out and get busy! It will really help. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 I agree with scout, if you really want to contact him (even though I advise against it), wait at least 2 weeks. Make other plans for this weekend! Link to comment
NR498E Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 I think you should contact him again. And I agree you should wait a little while before doing so. If I were you I'd call him in a few day's if you don't hear from him.I don't thimk you need to wait week's but definetaly don't call him until the middle of next week. Just remember if and when you do talk to him to keep it light and fun.And by all means be a flirt. Good luck.Your friend Andy. Link to comment
Scout Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 I think you should contact him again. And I agree you should wait a little while before doing so. If I were you I'd call him in a few day's if you don't hear from him.I don't thimk you need to wait week's but definetaly don't call him until the middle of next week. Just remember if and when you do talk to him to keep it light and fun.And by all means be a flirt. Good luck.Your friend Andy. Andy, I'm curious why you think she should contact him sooner than what some of us are suggesting. We gave our reasons why...what are your's? It could be you have reasons that make a lot of sense, that's the only reason I'm asking. My own take is that he wanted to end the relationship because he felt she was asking for too much of his time in a way that was stressing him out. So, I don't see how her frequently contacting him is going to change his position on that. Maybe you have a different take, though. Link to comment
NR498E Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 Good question..I should have explained a little better what I'm thinking. I think she should contact him while the date they had the other night is still fresh in his mind. I think that the date they had the other night went about as good as it could go and I think she should capitalize on that. I don't think she should feel that she has to ask him out again right away.I think that a simple phone call to say "Hi" is good.Then she can feel him out a little.If the conversation goes well then ask him if he want's to get together. There isnt much of a diffrence in my opinion between one week or two.I think as long as you don't pressure him or come of as desperate your in a very good positon to land this fish.I think you've got him one the line just don't real to hard or you'll snap it. Link to comment
Scout Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 I think she should contact him while the date they had the other night is still fresh in his mind. Well, that does make sense. But...I would think the reason why he broke up with her is still fresh in his mind, too. That's what I want her to be careful for him to avoid worrying about...like if she calls again too soon, he might think, "Uh oh, here we go again. Is she going to demand to see a lot of me even after we've broken up?" Now, I could be wrong. I do think if they had just recently met and had a great date, yeah, talk sooner while she's still fresh in his mind. Because there are only positives happening at that point. But they have a history, plus a break up for reasons that had everything to do with the frequency of time she wanted to see him in. Link to comment
NR498E Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 I agree and that's why I say she's gotta be cool as a cucumber.No pressure, no giving off the auroa of neediness or whatever. Just relax and let this fish tire himself out on the line.The real him in and gut him. Link to comment
sbrew21 Posted March 26, 2006 Author Share Posted March 26, 2006 well of course I am reading all your advice after I decided to call him. It was such a gorgeous day out so I called him to lay out and he said he already was and invited me to his pool. To make a really long story short, he kissed me at the end of the day after being really flirty with me all day. We went upstairs to get some water and he shared some dinner with me. I told him I had to go (which was soooo hard to do)Then he offered to drive me home (cause I walked over) and we kissed good bye for about 20 minutes and he told me it was really hard to stop kissing me. and to call him tomorrow. It was so amazing. Link to comment
NR498E Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 YES!!!....I'm all teary eyed over here.....good for you! I hope things keep going well and it certainly sounds like you know what your doing. Link to comment
solo34 Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 Sbrew...I'm so happy for you. It's nice to see that things are going good for you. Bye the way, this right here: "and we kissed good bye for about 20 minutes" -That's what I'm talking about right there! Haha...nice! -Solo34 Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 well of course I am reading all your advice after I decided to call him. It was such a gorgeous day out so I called him to lay out and he said he already was and invited me to his pool. To make a really long story short, he kissed me at the end of the day after being really flirty with me all day. We went upstairs to get some water and he shared some dinner with me. I told him I had to go (which was soooo hard to do)Then he offered to drive me home (cause I walked over) and we kissed good bye for about 20 minutes and he told me it was really hard to stop kissing me. and to call him tomorrow. It was so amazing. don't fall into a friends with benefits situation!!! Of course he wants to kiss you! You're hot! But... don't keep going down this road unless he wants to work on getting back together... Link to comment
Midgi Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 I completley agree with annie24, do not let him think you are easy to get. You need to talk the situation truth before you let yourself get hurt again. Link to comment
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