working in the adult industry...

[second_opinion]

I have no idea which category this goes into so I put it her. Anyway, I have lately thought of working in the sex industry to get money, not as a prostitute or anything, like working in an adult store... although i HAVE considered prositition or a stripper. Im so broke!!! I have university fees to pay, I have a broken old car which is totally falling to bits. I do work however I dont get paid enough to meet these demands. Ive been loooking for a new job for more than a yr without any success. Ive had enough!! Im so sick of not being able to afford uni books (evern second hand), paying fees and bills on time, i dont even spend money on my self!! Hoenslty, the last tim I went shopping was more than a year ago.

 

What should I do? Im so tempted to do this as a job. Its not like I havent been emotionally scarred from my ex in the past, I dont think this will make much of a difference.

[friscodj]

Well, I actually had a lab partner in a university physics class some years ago who danced exotically on the side. She did make good money, she was very intelligent and pretty too...

 

I think if you do it and view it as a job and maintain professional distance in that regard, it isn't a bad deal. Realize though, your co-workers, boss, and especially clientele may not be model citizens, and I'm not sure how you view being treated and viewed as a sex object by sleazy and gross guys...

 

Think about what you're doing and if it's really worth it to you in light of other opportunities to earn money...

[lgirl]

were you sexually abused? normally women who can tolerate such degrading, debasing work in the sex industry have been emotionally and sexually abused as children. sorry to hear you feel so scarred by yr ex that you'd even comtemplate this

 

you might clear your debts, but the price you'll end up paying will be considerably higher.

 

there are alternatives.

[PocoDiablo]

If you work as a stripper, prepared to have your life pretty much decimated. Every stripper I've known has just gone down the tubes, pretty much. And studies show that workers in the adult industry pretty much just end up hating it, hating people, hating life ... etc. It really does not paint a pretty picture.

 

Sure, the money is good, but there is more to life than money. Not being able to afford books is a great excuse to meet other classmates and study with them. Make it clear you can't afford the books, and you will probably meet a charming guy who would love to spend time with you. He might even fix your car (I've been known to do that in the past) in exchange for a nice home cooked dinner or two.

 

If anything, use Google to read the long-term results of working as a stripper or in the adult industry. I think you might change your mind.

 

Here's some tidbits to think about:

 

Tammy, Kimberly, and Lisanne, former dancerswhom Vickie met in the course of her ministry tothe many victims of this industry. These girls canidentify with the lure of easy money and excite-ment that the callers are experiencing. But theyalso know what these girls cannot feel—the pain,degradation, and loss of self-esteem. They speakbluntly about the drug and alcohol habits that theydeveloped to ease the pain of self-hatred. Theyspeak with an honest eloquence of the distrust andrelational difficulties that linger on, even yearsafter they escaped the world of exotic dancing.

 

...

 

 

“Escaping the industry,” Vickie explains, “isnot nearly as easy as it sounds.” She elaborates,“Most of the girls require alcohol or drug with-drawal and rehabilitation, and virtually all of themhave deep-seated emotional problems that requireprofessional help, plus a lot of Christian love andpatience. And to complicate their situation, manyof the girls leave the industry deeply in debt totheir former managers.”

 

Here's a book written by an ex-stripper: link removed

 

There are other related books there. You might want to check them out.

 

If you have any free time, you should think about starting your own business. Believe it or not, dog walkers are in high demand and you can charge $20/visit. Five customers per day = $100.

[RayKay]

The "adult industry" is not too glamorous.

 

I am not sure why you would work in a shop, they don't get paid anymore then working in a clothing store would...but I know in the last five years here at least we have had two female adult store clerks robbed, beaten & raped....a lot of risk for very little money.

 

Not that there isn't risk elsewhere. I know a couple woman whom have danced or waitressed in strip bars and while the "money" is good, the risks are great, there is a lot of drug and alchohol use (and you can say it won't happen to you but I am sure many of these girls did to), there is a lot of "contract" issues that can leave you indebted even when you want to leave.

 

As for prostitution...well...I would say you talk to the hundreds of prostitues whom go missing every year, but unfortunately you won't find them. Look up the Pickton murders...over the years this guy has killed dozens of prostitutes, and he buried them on his pig farm. And no one even noticed for years. Their families did, their coworkers and friends did, but the police were not too eager to worry about the disappearance of prostitutes...they were treated as less then human in life and death. The sad thing is it's not that unusual to happen. Never mind all the rapes, violence, drug abuse, arrests/charges that also come with the territory.

 

You know, it sucks being broke. I have been a student, and I am going BACK to being a student as of this September. I don't know how I am going to do it either...I will be taking on huge debts, and working only a minimal amount to pay the interest payments during the school year (working full time in summer). I do work full time right now and I still don't go shopping for myself as I have bills to pay and I can't afford too. It is going to suck, but I really advise against doing something that is not only going to have huge emotional burdens, but also be something that can jeopardize your health, your future, your self esteem.

[BellaDonna]

I don't think you should go into the adult industry. Look for another job that pays more, but where you can still keep your dignity. Or get a 2nd job.

 

I had a very good friend who became a stripper, for the money, and she went right down the tubes. I would not recommend it to anyone. She worked in a socalled "upscale" strip club (which I believe is nonexistent). She had a bad experience and was treated like a piece of garbage- both by the club OWNER (who was a woman) and the men that went there.

 

Why not try to be a bartender or a cocktail waitress? If you can find a job in an upscale night club- you can make a lot of money as a cocktail waitress from tips. My sister currently does that and it's working very well for her.

 

BellaDonna

[CarnelianButterfly]

I don't think you should do it if you have any doubts. There are many ways to pay for school without resorting to using your body as a cash machine. There are student loans and scholarships. Many universities have TA or grading positions available to students. There are school organizations that will provide funding for research assistants. You can also get grants and fellowships through many, many companies that have interests in your major. Have you spoken with you councilor/advisor, I spoke with mine and she gave me several options, my department is broke so I'm going to have to teach in another department, I don't mind, I'll get full tuition and a monthly paycheck.

[RayKay]

I don't think you should do it if you have any doubts. There are many ways to pay for school without resorting to using your body as a cash machine. There are student loans and scholarships. Many universities have TA or grading positions available to students. There are school organizations that will provide funding for research assistants. You can also get grants and fellowships through many, many companies that have interests in your major. Have you spoken with you councilor/advisor, I spoke with mine and she gave me several options, my department is broke so I'm going to have to teach in another department, I don't mind, I'll get full tuition and a monthly paycheck.

 

Good points CB - wow great deal for you with full tuition AND a paycheck..I need a deal like that!

 

When I was doing my undergrad I received a grant as a research assistant...my professor actually approached me and asked me if I was interested, however some leg work on your behalf can open up many opportunities as well. It also is great experience to put on your resume and can even lead to additional full time opportunities after graduation.

 

There are indeed scholarships, bursaries, grants, all available too for those students in financial need....ask your advisor or department head. I know I will be doing the same next year most definitely!

[second_opinion]

Thanks everyone...

 

Yes I have been sexually assulted by my ex and yes I have tried finding another job and/or a second job but Im getting discouraged beacuse Ive been looking for more than a year.

 

Im not sure what you mean by going down the tube, but i dont like the sounds of it...whatever it is. I have no idea what Im going do to. Im so stranded. I dont know why no one wants to hire me... it could be because im over 18 and dont have any epirence outside my field, and its hard finding work in my field.

[friscodj]

Im not sure what you mean by going down the tube, but i dont like the sounds of it...whatever it is.

 

Going down the tubes = picking up drug and/or alcohol addiction, getting comfortable being around sleaze, losing perspective of who you are as a person vs. being a sex object, getting used to being verbally and/or physically abused, and building very stout emotional barriers against people in general and the idea of having a healthy and loving relationship...

[lgirl]

very sorry to hear yr ex sexually abused you (have you reported him?). don't allow his abuse to push you into a cycle of further abuse by degrading yourself and yr body and allowing men to abuse you even more for a few paltry $$s.

 

which area of work are you trying to get into? (you say you've been trying for a year - is there any job training you could do? part-time courses?). sometimes doing work experience (ie working for nothing for a few weeks to pick up the skills you need) can be a way in. in the meantime, can't you get a waitressing job to keep the wolves from the door? or sell your car?

 

what about your family?

[Burning]

Then get into the sex industry and put being broke into perspective.

 

BAD, BAD, BAD move.

 

Burning](*,)

[BellaDonna]

Going down the tubes = picking up drug and/or alcohol addiction, getting comfortable being around sleaze, losing perspective of who you are as a person vs. being a sex object, getting used to being verbally and/or physically abused, and building very stout emotional barriers against people in general and the idea of having a healthy and loving relationship...

 

Wow friscodj, ...that was a very good definition of "going down the tubes" - and it is exactly what happened to my friend who became a stripper. I knew her since 6th grade, and her life took a turn for the worst as soon as she entered the "adult industry"....which I find to be more like and "abuse industry" for the emotional toll it takes on so many of it's "employees".

 

There has GOT to be a better alternative to making money, than selling your body and your soul....

 

 

BellaDonna

[PocoDiablo]

I dont know why no one wants to hire me... it could be because im over 18 and dont have any epirence outside my field, and its hard finding work in my field.

Have you ever had a professional resume service update your resume? link removed is a good outfit.

 

Have you ever read a book on how to interview well? That made a world of difference for me.

[friscodj]

I dont know why no one wants to hire me... it could be because im over 18 and dont have any epirence outside my field, and its hard finding work in my field.

 

As far as the experience in your field goes, you might start out getting your foot in the door somewhere by working for peanuts or even free for a while, even if it is very part time. Or do the same thing and get into a different field of work...