i have become dissilusioned with the world

[990168.99]

i think i have lost my soul, lately i find my self ith a complet and utter lack of surprise and i just dont care any more. i want to care, but ii just cant. Im beging to drifft away from my friends finding them petty and small minded even thought really i think this is a reflection of my own agroance. also the other day i looked into the mirro and relised that i am the ugllyest person in the world both inside and out and every time i look into the mirro my own reflection makes me feel physically sick. Plus my emotinal self is stunted i finally fell in love with a girl at school and my onw stupid fear of rejection is stopping me from even talking too her. thats really when i relised how uglly i am. for the longest time i tryed to figure out why girls didnt like me i knew i was never an oil painting and my personality was one left to be desired but i thought i was at least average its only recently i began to loath my self then all of a sudden i just stopped careing i fell empty in side hollow to add to this i think im going insane ive started to have arguments in side m head with my self battles are being fought over who controol my self its between the agroant me, the optimistic me the one who believes she actually could return my fellings towards her and the part of me who hates evrything and wansts to destory my self from the inside makeing me empty, and through out this all i fell there is me myself who is just a by stander watching this never ending struggle for supremessy over my being i fell hepless but mainly empty at my core like theres a part of me missing that im never going to get back.

[Genesis]

Cheer up things will get better. You can work on they way you look on the inside and out. People seem to enjoy personality rather than looks.

[AN]

I know how you feel friend. I've been there and back again many times. You'll only get better if your optimistic side wins. Go out and smile at everything and be nice to everyone. I have nothing to live for in my life and I have no friends but I still managed to be happy 1/2 the time. Helping others puts a smile on my face and I hope I will do the same to you.

 

My only 'real' friend now is my imagination. I can sit back and stare at Keira Knightley for hours on end, daydreaming about everything possible. I know I sound crazy but I'm slowly learning how to talk to strangers.

[street dreamer]

dont be so hard on your self im a very arrogant ,ignorant and negative person at sometimes but i love myself and when people see that i love myself so much they have know choic but 2 love me. look in the mirror and tell yourself you are handsome do this 100 times a day sooner or later you will believe it

some men see things the way they are and ask why i see things that neva was and ask why not

[street dreamer]

dont be so hard on your self im a very arrogant ,ignorant and negative person at sometimes but i love myself and when people see that i love myself so much they have know choic but 2 love me. look in the mirror and tell yourself you are handsome do this 100 times a day sooner or later you will believe it.

the streets is not only watching. They talking now

[musicchicus]

I'm sorry you are having a tough time...

 

I suggest seeking counseling of some sort to help you sort things out.

 

Don't give up hope, things are bound to get better (they can't get worse can they?)!

 

Good luck

[shaolinmonk115]

Today was a very sh**ty day...I'm on the other side of the fence today...I want so desperately to be at peace with myself, but it just never comes. I know you don't see a reason to wake up tomorrow, but there is something for all of us. I'm still looking and am starting to sound like a hypocrite, but I've come to accept to that some force keeps me here. I would love to see what the difference is between me and someone who has the strength/weakness to go through w/ it. I pray/fear the day when the moment presents itself that causes myself to get to that point and i know that it could be tomorrow. Just keep looking to the clouds and know that God (or whatever you call it/him/her) is keeping you here for a reason. Maybe you're supposed to save that kid from getting hit by a bus or just to make someone smile one more time...there is a reason...try to accept it and enjoy the time given...the end is exactly that...the end

[neva_black_n_white]

if i was to be truly honest i have yet to feel how you feel, although i can relate, there are times in each persons life where parts of them and their fellings for themsleves change, i can relate to the feeling of worry around new people or relationships but to not try you will regret. no one is ugly inside and out its just they have yet to find their true potential and depth, you are most likely to be a wonderful person who can live out all hopes and dreams as soon as you learn to love yourself.

 

go back to the mirror tell yourself that you worth more than the way you feel, you are attractive and you can change. if a person cannot love you for your personality they are obviously vain, and i have yet to love for looks. this shows hidden depths, you have a lot to live for and to end life now would be a great loss to those who you could touch.

 

dont give up too soon, regret if fatal

 

feel free to talk to me

devil_bitch_666 (AKA

[the-virgin-suicides]

I cant give you much advice. But I know exactly how you feel. Reason being that Im feeling more or less the exact same. I drifted myself away from almost everyone. I'm not sure why.. i would just get so annoyed by their common behaviour .. I needed something new. and once i thought i did experience something new, it soon became old... (ok..im not sure what im talking about... im not even reading this.. im just... typing whatevers coming to mind)

 

Just try to make yourself a better person. I know what your thinking.. whenever a friend of mine told me this i would either be thinking: easier said then done. or well.. i dunno maybe i dont want to change?

 

Im not telling you to change, just dont affect everyone else around you because the way your feeling. And I suggest you figure out a way to vent out your feelings so that it'll make you feel better.