Online Personals and Phone Number Protocol

[Prufrock06]

Forgive the technical title, haha.

 

So I recently started up on a three-month subscription to link removed and I'm wondering if anyone has any advice on giving out your phone number to someone that you've started communicating with.

 

For example, I winked at this one person and he wrote me a quick email back with his AIM screenname and his email adresss. Okay, I thought: I'll strike up a conversation with him online. And so I did, and three minutes into the conversation he says he has to go work but to call him later and gives me his cell phone number.

 

Now, I dunno...I guess I always thought the way it would work out is that I'd communicate with someone through AIM and email for a week or so BEFORE talking on the phone. I mean, I am a little phone shy, which had something to do with my hesitation not to give him my cell number (which I did later on that evening but he hasn't responsed to my emails or IMs so there goes that one...) but I also didn't think the phone number exchange would happen so early in the process. Is this conservative thinking on my part, or is this the way it works, you immediately start a phone convo with someone you haven't even talked to online for five minutes?

 

So anyway, I think it's reached a dead end with this particular individual (no big deal, really) but for the future, when I try and start communicating with someone, should I be more open to talking on the phone immediately or should I stick with this idea of chatting through AIM and email for a while, just to get a sense of how the other person communicates, before taking it to the phone?

 

Any help/advice would be appreciated! Thanks so much in advance!

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

I'm on Lavalife myself and I have to agree with you. If things are going well after a week or so, then I give out my phone number. I then leave it up to the other person to call me or give me thier number so I can call them.

 

After just 3 minutes is WAY too fast in my opinion. Get to know the person a little bit first. You need to take thinks a little more slowly than normal in a online dating situation. You never know what kind of person you might get tied up with if you don't. There are a lot of people you may not want to get involved with on dating sites. Thankfully, the opposite is true, there are also a lot of great people on them too.

[smallworld]

Hey Prufrock, The one thing I've learned about myself is that whenever I've gone against my intuition and/or personal protocol , I've really regretted it. Current "phone protocol" isn't as important as being comfortable and having fun with the dating process. Stay true to yourself! If you'd rather talk to someone for awhile before giving out your phone number, just say so. Anyone who's worth your time would understand that.

 

One last thing: I find that when you let people know that you're shy, they're generally very understanding. Some even find it downright sexy... Have fun!

[Shadows Light]

Obviously..you want to wait a week or two. Why don't you get a

pre-paid disposible cell phone... that way they don't get your HOME phone. And if you have to ditch them and they won't stop calling... NO PROBLEM.. gone.

[orgasmictofu]

Obviously..you want to wait a week or two. Why don't you get a

pre-paid disposible cell phone... that way they don't get your HOME phone. And if you have to ditch them and they won't stop calling... NO PROBLEM.. gone.

 

My thoughts exactly. If you're doing online dating, GET A CELL PHONE. They can't be normally be tracked to your address.

 

As for if it's too soon, I don't think so. I give out my cell phone number to everyone, new people, fellow workers, people at school, everyone. When I was doing the online shtint, I would give the guy my msn address, and my cell phone number was part of my screen name. It really depends on the person.

[ShySoul]

Current "phone protocol" isn't as important as being comfortable and having fun with the dating process. Stay true to yourself! If you'd rather talk to someone for awhile before giving out your phone number, just say so. Anyone who's worth your time would understand that.

 

Bingo. Go at a pace you are comfortable with. Don't set time limits on when you can move to the phone. Do it when it feels right. If it takes a week, two weeks, a month, or a day.... its all ok. Just don't feel pressured into doing something you aren't ready for. If the guy is good, he will understand that.

[eleanorrigby1]

I never gave my number out to anyone online until I had met them in person. If they gave me their number then I withheld my caller ID and telephoned them. You never know if you want them to have it or not, you cannot tell if you are going to like someone until you meet them in person.

 

Also advice: meet as soon as possible!

 

I once emailed and spoke to a guy for months who I met online, and we got on soooo great, it felt like destiny, we had EVERYTHING in common, I had saw pictures but they were distant, hazy never that clear. Eventually we met and there was no chemistry at all (on my site) and I had to tell him I wasnt interested in being anything but his friend. He was really upset and I never heard from him again.

 

Have fun, but be safe!