Letting someone down gently...

[jimpster2005]

How would you go about letting someone down gently?

 

I have no plans to put your suggestions into action, but just wonder if I'm on the receiving end at the moment. Second guessing feels horrible, but as I always overanalyse things I don't want to raise it in conversation just incase I'm wrong....

 

Thanks.

[MeHim]

Talk about the direction your life and theirs are taking, once you know your not in the same direction (Let her say first) then you can lead towards breaking it off

[Diggitydave]

Take a couple days, think long and hard, think about life without them, be prepared for the consequences of your decision.

[jimpster2005]

Thanks guys, although I guess I'm looking more for obvious signals that the other person might give off...

[RayKay]

How would you go about letting someone down gently?

 

I have no plans to put your suggestions into action, but just wonder if I'm on the receiving end at the moment. Second guessing feels horrible, but as I always overanalyse things I don't want to raise it in conversation just incase I'm wrong....

 

Thanks.

 

Generally I would say if they seem non commital in making plans with you even in the near future, not showing signs of physical attraction, limiting alone time with you they are trying to 'ease out' of the relationship without really telling you directly. Just basically SEEMING less interested in their actions & plans.

 

Why don't you just say "hey, I noticed you have been very busy this last week, is everything alright?" - it gives her the opening to either explain "work is nuts this week due to a project but I really am looking forward to our date this weekend" or for her to say "I am just not feeling it"..or her to stutter and try to change the subject which is just as good as saying "I am not feeling it".

[DN]

Lack of time for you.

Noticeable lessening of affection, sex, kissing etc.

Tension in the body when they hold you.

Avoiding eye contact.

Reluctance to talk about future plans.

Conversation is less intimate and more general.

[Lightingbird]

Hopefully these will help you out.

 

1. If you give her any gifts or plan any future dates. Observe if she acts unconcerned or uninterested.

2. Talking about you two as a couple in a future tense and see how she reacts.

3. If you ask her anything personal like what shes doing when you aren't together or if shes talking to anyone else and she gets overly defensive and upset.

4. Lastly, don't deny your gut feeling. If you feel like something is wrong you are probably right.

 

 

Take your time and work things out.

Good luck to you.

[ms.5150]

Generally I would say if they seem non commital in making plans with you even in the near future, not showing signs of physical attraction, limiting alone time with you they are trying to 'ease out' of the relationship without really telling you directly. Just basically SEEMING less interested in their actions & plans.

 

Why don't you just say "hey, I noticed you have been very busy this last week, is everything alright?" - it gives her the opening to either explain "work is nuts this week due to a project but I really am looking forward to our date this weekend" or for her to say "I am just not feeling it"..or her to stutter and try to change the subject which is just as good as saying "I am not feeling it".

I've tried giving some of these signals, for the last couple of months to the guy I've been dating for about the last year, he doesn't seem to "get it". How else could I be more obvious w/o being mean?

[RayKay]

I've tried giving some of these signals, for the last couple of months to the guy I've been dating for about the last year, he doesn't seem to "get it". How else could I be more obvious w/o being mean?

 

I think the best thing to do is honestly to just tell him you are really not interested.

 

It's not "mean" to tell someone the truth about not being interested, as long as you are compassionate about it. You can't force yourself to feel something you don't.