No one at work, hardly any success in clubs, what abt chance meetings in the street?

[hammer81]

I have been single for nearly a year now and have barely had a sniff in that time. One problem is that after 3 years you get out of practice, the next is that I was never very good at it in the first place and lastly, I'm stuck as to where I'm going to meet that someone.

 

I'm starting to think quite seriously about starting random conversations with people in book shops and cafes etc!! Is this a sensible idea do you think? If so, can anyone suggest the best way to approach it/ relay examples of their own experiences?

 

I know this has been discussed in the past so if anyone can post the link to similar topics that would be equally good (I couldn't find them).

 

Just looking for anything of use really! Cheers

[wlfpack81]

Deleted by user

[coollady1957]

Well you have asked a question that I have pondered myself many times, and have anticipated putting up my own thread about this. I too am out of practice in the dating arena and meeting new people. My situation is probably a bit different from yours. but similar in some ways. I will follow your thread and see if I get any ideas. I wont hijack your thread in an effort to get asnwers for myself. If necessary I will post my own.

It can be a pain in the butt trying to find the right avenues for meeting new people. Alot of it depending on where you are, and what possibilities you have already exhausted. GOod luck to you.

[renaissancewoman101]

Hammer81, I understand your frustrations concerning how to meet people. Starting random conversations with people is ok. If you want to do that, I would suggest going up to someone you might think might be open to a conversation, tell them you are new in the area or something to that nature, and ask them about stuff to do, etc. That is just a suggestion. I have also done it where I am somewhere and someone behind talks about something that I may know about, and I chime in. It really depends.

 

Like I said before, I understand how frustrating it is to meet people. I just moved into a new city. I dont have a job out here and I feel kind of overwhelmed about things. I am trying to go out to meet new people but it is a hard thing to do. I am kind of shy and it takes me a bit to open up. I also tend to be self-conscious about things. Right now, I have been out here for about two months, still havent met a lot of people, made friends, or made the effort to find a new SO. But, I am thinking of hooking up with some people in the area who are involved with guinea pig rescue since that is also a hobby of mines.

 

One thing you can do is try to find clubs or things to do that relate to any hobbies that you might have and maybe meet people that way.

[Jinx]

I'm starting to think quite seriously about starting random conversations with people in book shops and cafes etc!! Is this a sensible idea do you think? If so, can anyone suggest the best way to approach it/ relay examples of their own experiences?

This is how I've met a majority of friends and acquaintances at one point in time or another. Topic starting really depends where you are and who is of interest to you.

 

In a casual cafe or restaurant you can always observe who is ordering and ask something to the point of, "Have you been here before?" if yes you can ask for their suggestions on food or drink before you order and go from there. If no, if you are new yourself you can chime in about its your first too and carry on with how long you've been in the town and what you're up too, and trying to get the person to integrate their stuff in the conversation too. If yes, you can always make suggestions about the menu and what you like about the town, just general conversation.

 

Then depending what you like to do in your spare time you have museums, book stores, church, community service events, local organizations, cinema, if you really want you can even try striking up conversations with the WalMart locals. I've did it, it worked.

 

Personally, I've learned that over the years, the only way to help ease social tensions and conversation blanks is to talk to everyone and anyone. If you feel the urge to talk, find someone. You'll learn that there will always be the people that would rather grunt and move on than bother with you, and there are those which is like opening the Hoover Dam. You may not think highly of yourself at first, and there will be many awkward moments but eventually it will be like second nature. Once people associate you as the social friendly warm individual and especially a regular to a certain locale they will be more willing to approach you. This is one reason I'm big on Cafe's, usually you have the lot of regulars and people get to know one another easier.

[hazlcha]

Go shopping at the mall. While you're shopping at the mall, talk to the sales clerks. They are getting paid to talk to you, so it's good practice. Besides, they're probably happy to meet a nice, funny person who talks to them like a human being, not just someone who is there to be at their beck and call.

[hammer81]

Cheers guys, you all talk a lot of sense!!

 

I'm gonna go for it!