Solitude

[WTHUWY]

I completely agree with your thinking about being alone. You're not giving up, you are simply happy with who you are and don't need someone else to make you feel complete. In my opinion a soulmate doesn't have to be someone you are in an intimate relationship with, it can be a very best friend. Besides, you're young, you never know what will happen. But when it happens, you won't feel as if you settled.

[quietgrl]

Prenkle,

i'm questioning myself right now too.Do i want solitude or people around me?I'm starting to pick being alone right now.

[Alabama]

I wonder, too. If my life is meant to be single all my life. I have no luck in attracting girls I actually like, and am still so unaware or no how to approach a girl. I wonder if it is too late at times to fall in love. Then, would it be so bad to be alone? I don't think so. It would be sad, but sometimes we can learn to cope with being alone. We have to.

[Prenkle]

I met a man a few months ago who is in his late 40s. He has never been married. He's single. And he's happy. I would be content enough to be like him when I'm his age.

[CluelessGuy321]

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,

 

We people on the pavement looked at him;

He was a gentleman from sole to crown,

 

Clean favored, and imperially slim.

 

And he was always quietly arrayed,

 

And he was always human when he talked;

But still he fluttered pulses when he said,

 

"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

 

And he was rich—yes, richer than a king—

 

And admirably schooled in every grace:

In fine, we thought that he was everything

 

To make us wish that we were in his place.

 

So on we worked, and waited for the light,

 

And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;

And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,

 

Went home and put a bullet through his head.

[Alabama]

Wow ...that's powerful. What is that from?

[easyguy]

We all die alone, and in that brief moment, lose everything that we have accumulated over time. It would be a shame if you spent your whole life pondering one thing instead of just accepting reality and not giving up for what you want.

[cecerose]

I'm in a similar situation, the major difference being I was married and then filed for divorce in 2000. (The divorce became final in 2001.) I moved to a new area and lived with my parents for six months (that we didn't kill each other was minor miracle).

 

After my divorce, I felt a great need to be in a relationship again. But I waited a year and then started dating again. About a year later, I ended up in a 3 year relationship with a man that just ended a month ago. However, during that time, I mended my relationship with my parents, bought a condo and started to plan for my financial future -- regardless of whether or not I was in a relationship -- assuming that I was responsible for my financial well being.

 

I'm not sure if I'll be in a long term relationship again. I'm 40 and I've had the good fortune to be in three long term relationships with good people. But dating and being in a relationship is a real investment in time and emotional energy. As I get older, I find myself less willing to compromise about the things that are important to me and sustain me. (I've always been very independent.)

 

As an aside, I think it's interesting that women still look to a partner/husbands a financial resource and that not having someone in their life as the loss of a financial benefit.

 

If a guy were to write: "Well, I don't think I'll be in a marriage, this means I have to plan for my life assuming that I'm the sole source of financial future" I think a lot of people would find that odd.