It's been awhile, but has that much changed?

[mysterygirrl77]

when I was younger it seemed like flirting was so cut and dry - I just knew if someone liked me.Now that I'm an adult, I'm more confused than ever. I haven't reallly been in the dating scene for about 8 uears but is there that much of a difference in flirting as an adult from when you were a teenager? If a guy is interested will he gives signs on some days and not on others or would he be consistant?

[chai714]

Mystery,

 

First, let's define the difference between attraction and liking. Attraction is initially based on physical features. When you get to know someone better, you become either more or less attracted to them which depends on how they make you feel. Only after you know someone does liking take place.

 

Flirting is very similar in adults and children. Both involve lots of positive body language. Body language is what becomes quite obvious throughout the process of flirting. A female preening herself, a male sucking in his gut, strong eye contact, the tilting of heads, the "accidental" touching of hands, feet, or other body part, etc. If you can read body language,(while you're actually talking to your "target") then it becomes easier to know where you stand with him/her.

 

As far as consistency goes, body language is usually consistent. It's very difficult to fake body language. As an exercise, go out alone or with a friend and observe people. Go to a bar, go to an airport, a supermarket, a classroom and observe body language. Just last week, I observed a salesman trying to sell something to a married couple. I'm not sure what he was trying to sell, but his body language sure told me a lot about what was going on. The wife was even uneasy about what he was trying to sell them, as she had her legs crossed, arms crossed and the look on her face told me she wasn't buying into it. Anyhow, you get the idea. Good luck.

[Derek]

If a guy isn't being consistent, he is either playing a game, or he just isn't that into you.

 

Don't you deserve a guy that is attracted to you enough to not play games. Who likes you enough to overcome his fear or shyness and be direct and ask you out etc.?

 

Adults are better at fooling themselves. They have layers of rationalizations they can use to pretend with. Don't trust words. Trust actions.

 

 

[Kevin T]

I don't know... I've liked people and been very inconsistent in behaviour and words. But that's me and as I said before, I'm probably an expection to the rule. (Plus I'm really screwed up. lol)

[mysterygirrl77]

I'm like that too. I know I like him yet I have days where I know I'm distant. I don't get to spend a lot of time with this guy to be able to really read him. I posted a thread in Finding love/soulmate called signs,signs,signs!!! where there's more of some of what he does that has me a little confused.