can any one help?

[sammeh]

hi,

 

Im 18 years old and go clubbing oftern, but just cant seem to bring my self to talk to or dance with..etc women for a fear of rejection, im always scared that thay will say something like "go away" or "no thanks" or "leave me alone". If this was to happern i believe that it would shatter my hope of finding some one to "get with"on that night. When im dancing or looking at someone i find attractive...etc things run through my head like "what is the point in trying", "your not going to get any where" "ur to werid to get some one, no one is going to want to be with you" and some times (this is the part that i dont like to think but it always ends up running though my mind) "might as well kill ur self as ur going be lonley for the rest of your life with no one to like/love you". Once i get these thoughts it ruins my night out as i then get depressed and end up sitting on my own in a corner with all my friends saying "are u ok" to with i ALWAYS reply "yes im fine leave me alone" then that gets me down and i start thinking them thoughs again and so it goes on and on. my friends say "if u get rejected just forget about it and try again" but thats is eaiser said than done for me.

Is there any way to over come this??

How can i tell if women notice me? (if that is possible)

Then IF supposing i do get with some one where do i go from there??

 

PLZ PLZ PLZ if any one can help me i would be most grateful as i dont want to spend my life thiking like this and i dont want my though to end up over coming me

 

thank you for your time reading my problem

 

Sammy.

[in_the_mirror]

everyone is afraid of rejection it is just our nature but being upbeat about it makes everything easier. a lot of people go clubbing because they are looking for someone to be with it wether it is for a relationship or a new friend. you just have to throw yourself out there and take whatever you get but if it is negative don't take it so seriously you know you weren't trying to be rude or anything like that. the only thing is you can't just sit in a corner i know what it feels like cuz i use to do that at dances cuz i was afraid that no one would ever want to be with me but that isn't true there is someone out there for everyone and if you don't go out looking for it you may never find her and you can't jus say "well she can just come find me" cuz she might feel the same way you do and sits in a corner all night

 

just go out there and have fun don't worry bout nothing cuz the only person that can put you down is yourself

[basschic23]

If you approach someone..you will ahve a good chance of getting her. But the slight possibility you will be rejected. SLIGHT. If you don't try talking to a girl, you are rejecting yourself and making you depressed. work up the nerve to approach someone!

[bzborow1]

The first thing you have to do to get over the hump is to accept that it's not your fault. That is of course unless you say something stupid like, "i like your breasts". The girl could like blonde guys, body builders, skaters, anything...AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE THAT.

 

You can, however, do little things to increase your chances for success. Next time you're in a club and you make eye contact with a girl you're attracted to, just smile at her...if she smiles back, or looks away and starts fidgeting then you know she's interested, then go talk to her.

[phil1981UK]

Hi buddy,

 

I had the same problem till I realised that women in clubs expect to be hit on and proberbly tell 10-20 guys a night to get lost, so its nothing personal!

 

Nobody can make you approach a girl, its upto you to do it, but i guarentee that if you approach 20 women in a club at least one will talk to you and proberbly more, i've realised rejection is part of life and you just gotta live wid it!

 

Next time dont mess about, as soon as you see a girl you like take a deep breath and go say Hi, worst is she tells you to get lost, best is, well you can figure that out for yourself eh!