WhiteNite Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Hello there, I'm new to this forum and unsure where to exactly post. I will tell my story and maybe someone will listen and possibly help? After a horrific relationship that I had moved states for I returned to Melbourne. I was broken. Within a matter of weeks my life changed. I met the most wonderful person you could ever imagine Miss M. It was like a fairytale. It didn't take long until I moved in. It was the most peaceful and loving six months of my life. One day however my girl dropped a bombshell. She had been offered a scholorship to Hong Kong. I was so proud of her. She was and is so talented. I encouraged her but slowly but surely I realised I would be without her for some time. Maybe six months. I began to feel uneasy. One day I was out training and I met someone. For some reason I was attracted to her. Before I long it became physical. This was not like me at all. Eventually I told Miss M and she was heart broken. So was I. I WAS SO ASHAMED! I couldn't go back to her and stayed with this new girl for a few months as I was in finacial dire straits. I continued to miss her and eventually left the cycling girl and moved back with my parents. I eventually got back on my feet and have since moved into a share house with some lovely people. I have finally found a job that I like and the people there like me to. My cycling is going better that ever before. There is however a huge hole in the middle. Miss M! I have thought of her every day. Miss M finally returned to Melbourne the other day where I saw her at a friend's wedding. I went to say hello to her but she turned her back to me. I left her alone. During the ceremony she constantly stared at me. This evening I ran into her again at dancing. I left her alone this time but again she glanced constantly at me. What do I do? I love her. I have told her on many occasions that I am sorry. I have begged for her forgiveness. The fact that she is still angry after all this time suggest to me that there are still feelings. I wish she could get past this. I know that we could be so very happy together. In fact I can't imagine wanting to spend my life with anyone else. Please help WhiteNite Link to comment
butterflycloud Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Hi What made you go for the cycling girl?Besides the fact that your girlfriend was leaving? Link to comment
Frangipani Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Welcome WhiteNite. There are many people who will listen and try offer advice. I hope it helps. My advice would be this. You need to talk to her face to face. 1) to see if she still DOES have feelings 2) to see if there is any chance of reconcilliation and most importantly 3) if none of these things are the case - to finally get some closure and heal I guess you really have nothing to lose, as you having nothing now, right? Approach her and just be a friend. Ask her if you could have a coffee and have a chat...to catch up. Don't lay it all on her too soon, just try and be calm and friendly. Just test the waters. I know you have apologised and that is admirable. What you did was hurtful yes, but you have to stop beating yourself up over it. People fall for other people all the time...it happens and you cannot change the past, but you can learn from it. Its happened to me...so I feel your pain. You need to know one way or the other if there is still any hope so you can act on that or move on and heal. Just take the plunge - you really do have nothing to lose here. Please though, do NOT beg for forgiveness. Neediness just pushes people away. Be strong but not needy. Saying sorry again is fine, but just try to be calm and caring. BUT also be prepared to accept it move on if she says she doesnt not want to get back together. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Dunno if I have helped, but good luck. Keep us informed. Link to comment
WhiteNite Posted February 16, 2006 Author Share Posted February 16, 2006 Thankyou guys, I don't exactly know what attracted me to the cycling girl. She was definitely very pretty. Maybe it was because she rode a bike and really well. Miss M at the time was very involved with her studies. I'm not looking for excuses for my poor behaviour just answers. I would like to speak with Miss M Frangipani but at the moment she is not approachable. I'm thinking maybe I need to give her a little time to settle into Melbourne again as she only arrived back in Melbourne last Sunday. I will try again speaking with her next week. I just want things back to the way they were. If Miss M was willing it could happen so easily. Thanks again WN Link to comment
WhiteNite Posted February 25, 2006 Author Share Posted February 25, 2006 Hi there, Well I have sent a letter. I believe she should receive it in the next few days. I can only wait now. It is my final olive branch. One way or another I hope it will bring closure for both of us. I just pray that she still loves me. WN Link to comment
ShySoul Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 I hope things work out well WhiteNite. I'll be praying it does. Let us know how it turns out. Link to comment
Cece11 Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 Hello Whitenite... I've been in a similar situation, except my fiance wasn't leaving anywhere. As you did, I felt ashamed. It never got physical, but it was an attraction. I now realize what a horrible mistake I had made, and I went back to my fiance within a week. I knew what I had with my soulmate, and I never in my life wanted to lose that. I have everything with him. He used to live in a neighboring town to mine, and just for me he moved closer to me so we could see eachother more frequently. He has given me love I have NEVER felt before. I do not think the cycling girl was a huge thing. It was just an attraction. I know you feel very badly about how you handled things, as did I. But if is ment to be then she'll come around. Just DON'T make the same mistake twice. I truly don't blame her for acting the way she is. My fiance handled it in a completely different way than I had expected. He told me that I still had a home to go to. I had a source of money, love and the same commitment that I had when I chose to leave. I knew I had made a HUGE mistake, and I have learned from it. Give her time, and hopefully she'll come around. If she's still glancing at you constantly, then maybe you should try to talk to her. If she still doesn't talk to you, then maybe you should move on. You really didn't know what you had until it was gone...and the same with me. I hope this helps!!! -Cece Link to comment
ScoobyBaby1500 Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 You hurt her very much and she needs time to realize if your relationship is worth saving. I am not sure what else to say. She is hurt and she can not trust you Link to comment
WhiteNite Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 I still have not heard from her and it has been a week. ](*,) Link to comment
WhiteNite Posted March 5, 2006 Author Share Posted March 5, 2006 Hey Gang, I haven't heard a word. I am beginning to loose all hope. I feel like a whole part of me has shut down. I know I am very distant with people and I can't help it. I just don't want to let them in. Sleeping is good. I don't have to deal with it that way. I miss her. We would snuggle on a Sunday afternoon and have a nap. WN Link to comment
ShySoul Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Hey. I'm sorry that things aren't going well WhiteNite. Unfortunately, this is not something you can control, its up to her to figure out how she responds. You have done all you can to try and make up for your mistake, the rest is up to her. It may seem like your world is crushing down around, and there is no hope anymore. You may feel empty and there will never be another like her. That's ok. You are allowed to wallow and feel bad. But things do slowly get better. The right person will come along, be it her or someone else. And you can learn from this experience and guarantee that something like this will never happen again. I'm thinking of you and wishing you well. Link to comment
ShySoul Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Awww... need some company banging heads into a wall. I feel like that at times. lol. Really, things do get better. ](*,) Link to comment
ShySoul Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 It's a party. Just don't hit your head too hard. Don't want to cause damage. Seriously WhiteNite, it will be ok. Things do get better. ](*,) Link to comment
WhiteNite Posted March 9, 2006 Author Share Posted March 9, 2006 Well gang I haven't heard a thing. What an idiot I am. I will always remember. Why? I would marry this girl in a second. WN Link to comment
ShySoul Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 There will be another girl eventually that makes you feel the same way. It may take a long time, but it does happen. I know from experience. Take as much time as you need to heal. One day, when it's right, love will find you again. Link to comment
bingfei Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 you shuold give time for each other,for she was hurt! Link to comment
WhiteNite Posted March 14, 2006 Author Share Posted March 14, 2006 Hey Gang, I still have not heard anything. I don't know whether it is harder not being with her now than it was when she was OS. I just miss her so much. WN Link to comment
ShySoul Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 *hugs WhiteNite. There's not much I can say to make it better right now. It hurts and it will probably hurt for awhile longer. But gradually things get better. Have faith that it will. Link to comment
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