Can you fall back in love?

[Pixiegirl]

Okay, well here is the story, any and all advice is appreciated! I have been with my husband for 9 years (married for 4). We have 2 children and he left us on July 4th. I am here with the house, the kids and all the responsability. He comes over often to see the kids and help with some of the housework. And we always end up talking about the relationship and what went wrong. There were problems on both parts but now he is saying that he dosen't love me more that just a friend who has always been there for him and he loves me as his children's mom. He says he dosen't know if he ever really loved me. I know that one would be like whatever and be done with it, but in my heart I know that this is not true. He had to have loved me sometime and I think with time he may have just lost the love and is dealing with that. We have been together since he was 16 and I also think he is going through a growing time. I was just wondering if anyone has been through this. Do you think it is possible to fall back in love with someone? Should I let go and if he returns then its meant to be? *we also went through this 2 1/2 years ago when he was saying the same thing and came back a month later saying he made a mistake and loves me. There also is no other woman in the picture. Should I let him come over and be there with me? It just makes it really hard but is it better for the kids to see that we still are friends, because when he comes over things are friendly and that is how I want our marriage to be. I have told him I want things to change but he thinks we have said that to many times for him to believe it and that things would just go back to the same. So any help would be good here! Thanks for listening!!!!!

[evolution_Vll]

hey pixigirl,

i dont have kids and ive only been married like 1 year but we have already split because our lives are way to stressful for being so young.

she said she didnt love me anymore and is sick of fighting, i tried for a month 2 get her to understand my side of the story but she wouldnt budge and i was forced to except she wanted other guys.

 

i left to live with a friend and i excepted she didnt love me and had fun, fun and more fun, then she called me everyday begging forgiveness for the hell she put me through.(and it was hell i gave up a great life to downgraded jobless, no fun boring life for, and supported her then in 1 day she wakes up and sez i dont love you)

 

then she went through hell tryin to get me back but I took her back and everythings fine.

 

um im usless at getting to the point sorry but if talking didnt work like in my siuation, maybe if u stop pursuing him and get on with life -without closing the option of getting back u know...

 

then maybe he will be like "wait a minute shes supposed to be whipped over me" and maybe he'll come running back.

 

also i hope he's not like thinking ur door will always be open so he can go mess around and have singles fun and always fall back on his wife??

1 last but personal question?? hows the sex life???he could be looking elswhere because he cant get it at home, im a guy and sex is very important in a relationship to a guy..(u probably already know but if u dont have a sex life thats probably the reason why he's gone.

 

thats my advice to u but sorry if it doesnt even make sense.

 

anyways good luck

 

p.s what about counsolling???

[foreverurz23]

well coming from a kids point of veiw, all you see these days are parents fighting and its makes a kids life a living hell! you dont find many parents that can be friends becuase most dont look beond the problems like they should. if its ment to be it will happen, all you can really do right now is just give it time and see what happens, even though i'm not saying just sit back and relax, help it along a little, but dont push anything opon anyone.

good luck

 

~foreverurz23~

[Sup2]

You sound like an angel.

 

You're hubby sounds like an alright guy too. Most likely, there's a sense of entitlement going on in his head. Here's the best explaination I can give.

 

When he met you, he knew that you were a fantastic person - worthy of being with for the rest of his life. He may have been really surprised to have actually gotten you when he did - only you could know this though.

 

Over time, as things got better & worse (so goes marriage as people manage to go through at least one or maybe two life growth periods during one), he realized that he really was as good of a man as you always knew he was. He's just catching up to what you always saw. He didn't act on it right away, then acted on it when another sure thing was nearby.. just guessing here.

 

Obviously, something or someone else sparked some more confidence & he jumped. I'm not an expert or anything... but I'd guess there's a high probability he'll be back. Don't know anymore than that - if I know anything at all.

 

Anyway -I wish you the best. You sound like you deserve good things.

[Healing One]

I was with my first husband for 13 years (married for 8 years). He decided one Chrismas night years ago, to tell me that he just wasn't in love with me anymore. This too was also after he left me when our son was only 6 months old (about a year into our marriage for about 2 months). He decided the 2nd time after being gone for about 3 months that he wanted to come back. I couldn't live with this so we just got divorced.

 

I hate to bring this to you this way, but in my case there was another woman BOTH times. I did not find this out until he decided he was going to get married again and felt, for some silly reason, that he needed to confess everything.

 

You know him better than we do, but I wouldn't rush into keeping him close. He may be getting the best of both worlds - living on his own but seeing you with no attachment. I hope you can give it some time and figure out what is really going on. Its not fair to you to be emotionally bonded to him while he keeps you on the sidelines.

 

I would just hate to see this end up as a way of life for him - jumping in and out of your marriage.

 

Good luck to you.