Long distance dating

[sandela]

Hi, I'm 41 have been separated for almost 3 years and I have two early teenage kids. I have not had the greatest luck in romance. I met a guy on the internet that lives 6 hours away from me (I live in Canada and he lives in the US). Our first meeting, that went very well, was done half way between our two cities. Just prior to that I should add that we had speaking on the phone constantly every night for at least an hour.

 

Second meeting took place last Sunday. He drove to my city, we had dinner out and he left late afternoon on Monday. Nothing has changed as far as phoning goes. I like this person and this person also likes me (I only know that because he told me). I keep thinking about the distance and how it will eventually get in the way. I wanted to talk to him about it early enough to know whether or not I should cut my losses. I realize that we are no where to even begin thinking about moving. So I'm being realistic about that. He also has older teenagers but still has on and off weekends like I do. But of course we are on opposite schedules. I think this can be worked out in time.

 

What this note is all about is what about the time in between - us not seeing each other (conflicts in schedules, work, committments, all sorts of things). These things will be roadblocks for us. Another question how much time in a month should I be seeing him/epecting to see him every other weekend (assuming one of us changes the schedule with the kids)?

 

At what point should I start to worry that this type of relationship is just a convenience of not having someone around all the time. Do I even think about that? As it stands now I won't see him for another three weeks? Is that too long? Is he giving me the run around?

 

Need advice badly.

 

Thanks to anyone who reads this.

 

S

 

P.S. Does this mean you have to talk on the phone every single night?

[friscodj]

Well, sandela, it does sound like you have a hard road ahead of you if this is going to work out. Generally, I have found that a long distance relationship (LDR) has the best chance of working out if there is a plan in place to be together permanently at some point.

 

What the two of you do in your relationship is up to the two of you. Does that mean you should talk every night? That and other details are up to you guys and whatever works...works I guess...

 

I think your deeper question perhaps is whether this relationship can work or not? Of course it can work, but again I see a lot of work and expense on the part of you both for that to happen.

 

My advice? If it were myself in this situation, I'd let this one go and would try to find someone in my immediate area. The Internet is a great way to meet people and chances are in time you will meet someone "good" in your immediate area.