Mornings are the worst!

[vickyviking]

It's been three months now and I can only describe the pain as indescribable. I hurt so badly. The mornings are the worst though. I can't seem to get through a full day without breaking down. My life is in a complete mess at the moment! Any tips for how other people cope gratefully received! I feel good at the end of the day having made it through another, but this feeling that this will NEVER end does not go away.

[mgirl]

It does go away. The reason you feel so bad in the morning is that your mind is so fresh and it is the first thing you think about. With time, this will go, as it won't be the first thing you think about for ever. Sometimes i feel bad in the mornings and sometimes i feel good, it's just the way it is.

 

The only way to cope with it is to feel like * * * *e, acknowledge these feelings and then think about the next thing you have to do, such as having a shower. Try to focus your mind on the immediate future and give yourself little things to look forward to.

[locolady]

Hello Viking - sorry youre going through this - it will get better i promise - and this comes from someone who very recently felt exactly as you do. I'm now at the six month stage and i'd be lying if i said i was totally fine but i am astonished at how much better i feel. I was crying all the time, feeling too sick to eat (handy weightloss though eh hehe!) shouting at my friends and family and scorning anyone who told me time would heal it - i thought they had no understanding of what i'd lost. Now, there really is light at the end of this for me, just as there will be for you! It is something you just have to get through but you can help yourself....try to eat well (ie not comfort eat or not eat at all!) force yourself to do some exercise, it helps loads, maybe join a new class at the gym or a local college - anything that might interest you and get you out there socialising. Even if you feel that nothing interests you right now, give it a go even if its just for the sake of it for now! Meet your friends and if it disintergrates into a crying session then dont feel guilty about it! I've really found posting on here helps a lot, people are really kind and happy to help. Also as much as i hated to hear it myself, i've really benefitted from breaking all contact with my ex. I had my first meeting with him yesterday and he admitted that once i stoppped contacting him, it really drove home to him what he'd lost. Dont view it as a way of getting him back, you have to try to push those thoughts from your mind. For me it helped to accept we were over and stop constantly planning things to say to him. Now, i think we have a good chance of being friends but the no contact was a really good start. Good luck, stay in touch xx

[GreatGuy]

Hang in there .....we've all been there and you've read it all. Now its time for you to go through it all ...alone....be strong we're here for you. If you must let it out, cry and allow yourself to feel things. I lost my father back 7 years ago...and that pain is still there, believe me it hurts. When my girl comes and goes...it hurts, i cry-breath, think of my dad and that pain puts things in perspective. The GREATEST HUMAN LIE is the worlwide notion that we're meant to be with one person...for ever. But nothing last forever, everything changes...people too...move on, come back later....ect

 

If someone told us that TRUTH when we were groing up, maybe we'd stop holding on so much, waiting and hoping for that day when we meet "that" special one to stay with us forever...ever...and ever. But while we wait for that day, many many many special things are coming and going out of our lives. Life is short and is meant to be shared with others. Not on "that special day", but maybe everyday for every day we have on this physical planet.

 

I cry...because no one told me that...nothing last forever. When we are born, we die someday, to be born again. Next time you meet someone(could be today) remember its not forever, only its for now. Enjoy all they have to offer and be better than yesterday.

[ravens_folly]

Yep, you know whats amazing... is when you are going through it you just can't seem to believe people no matter what they say or how they try to console you that the feeling will go away! But it does!!

 

It took me well over a year to get over someone I was dating for only 6 months. I could have sworn all the saddness and stuff would never disappear, but it does. It just takes time, and it takes DISTRACTIONS. Basically trying to find other interests and people and things to do that don't remind you of them and make you happy.

 

You will get through this... hard to believe, but its true.

[deejay74]

It took me well over a year to get over someone I was dating for only 6 months. I could have sworn all the saddness and stuff would never disappear, but it does. It just takes time, and it takes DISTRACTIONS. Basically trying to find other interests and people and things to do that don't remind you of them and make you happy.

 

i dated my ex for 6 months as well and she dumped me about 5 weeks ago. i had made some progress but this week has been terrible. my longing for her has been so great and i have been really sad. i was beginning to think something was wrong with me but to know it took you a long time to get over someone you went out for 6 months with is a little reassuring that what i am going through is normal.

 

i just can't believe how affected i have been by this break up. i was wondering why it's been so hard on me. i guess i must've really loved my ex and it's a shame she didn't love me enough to put effort in our relationship when things got hectic for her. this makes me the saddest because it makes me feel like i just wasn't worth the effort to her.

 

i have made some strides in progress, mainly accepting the break up and realizing my ex is never going to come back to me (gosh, "never" sounds so final but i can't hold onto any hope b/c that sets me back) but missing her hasn't faded, it's actually increased this week. what's funny is i am actually a little envious of those on here who see and hear from their exes from time to time.

 

i just want to enjoy myself and to stop putting my self worth in my ex's hands. i am still gauging my worthiness based on the break up. one milestone that i realized is that i relied on her and the relationship for MY own happiness. i just don't know how to make myself happy anymore and that is one of the reasons why i am in therapy.

 

anyway, thanks for posting this ravens_folly. good to know i am not the only feeling the way i do about a 6 month relationship.

[1824blue]

I know exactly what you mean about the mornings being tough. As soon as 1:00 in the afternoon hits I am considerably happier.

One thing that may sound silly, but has helped me was that I posted a piece of paper right by my bed for when I wake up that says "WAKE UP AND LIVE YOUR LIFE!!" Nobody should have the power over you to stop you from living, or getting out of bed without tears in your eyes! ITs up to you whether or not you let them have that over you, and its up to you to take a stand.

Use this breakup as motivation to improve you! Read self help books, learn to cook, do your hair before you go out. Its hard, and believe me I understand, but you need to find yourself again, and letting all this misery take control of you is not the way you want to live.

 

Take care in knowing that you are far from being alone in feeling the way you feel.

[andy_anu]

Hi friend...

I too am going through a similar phase... espically the pain of knowing that they are with someone else hurts even more... cause u know he/shes never gonna come back.. and u wonder, how did she move on so fast...

 

Every morning when i get up at 5am, i suffer a bad heart ache n a mixture of emotions..like jealousy, anger, regret, sadness....

Since past few weeks I have been exercising or going for jogs in the morning.. and believe me, its starting to help me.. I have feeling better n more confident bout myself.. and I recomend u doing the same..

 

Hope we make it through..

[healinginnyc81]

I've had the same experience every morning for the last 2 months. I read somewhere that the early morning is when our body is most prone to anxiety and depression.

Anyway, what I've been doing the past week is as soon as I realize I'm awake and depressed, I force myself to get up and start the day. It might help.

[gratefulpain]

Hang tough... thats why all of us are here......

 

I am 8 days into my breakup...shes getting the rest of her things tomorrow...

I wont be around I dont want to fall apart...and set myslef back to square one....

 

I cried alot too... 8 days ago I spent the most gut wrenching heart riping sobbing fetal postion night of my entire adult life..

 

Something I found useful was a comfy place to let it all hang out... sounds dumb but I made corner of the house (i live alone now) with a bunch of comforters/blankets alot of pillows and my CD player. I actually made a bit of a tent (optional) and i played slow songs to make myself cry and get it out...

i felt as if the crying and tears were symbols of the pain and poison that was leaving my body.. each time more pain would come out... lately i havent found the need to go in there anymore...it has made my healing quicker....

[Hannibal]

I didn't read all the posts but I'll tell you one thing. I'm coming from the exact same place as you are. I couldn't sleep for 3 whole months and I'd wake up feeling so terrible because I'd be waking up from a nightmare and thinking about my ex.

 

Well I thought it would never end either but then a couple of days ago I woke up and felt great. It was so nice to feel that way again.

 

So trust me it will get better, it'll just happen on its own.