Will Men And Women Ever Understand Each Other??

[OverParanoid]

I been married for 3 years , but my husband and I been together for a total of 7 years. I dont think Ill ever understand him and visa versa. Sometimes he gets worked up over the most dumbest crap. We both work long hours and rasing a 2 yeard old in the process. Our schedules are cazy but we always manage to make time for each other, and then I say something that he thinks is stupid and I try to defend myself and he gets bent. Same goes for him, He does something or is wrong about something and I try to correct and its a constant " im right your wrong battle" until I finally say "yes your right" just so the dummy can shut up..lol"

 

Mood swings runs wide in my marraige, if its not him in a bad mood, its me. Then he gets mad at me for being grouchy then i get mad at him for being grouchy, and I could go on and on but I wont..lol

 

We love each other to death and no matter what misunderstanding we have we always manage to laugh about it later, but I still wonder are we ever gonna understand each other ?? Anyone else feels the same way??

[AwdreeHpburn]

No. men and womer will never understand each other. But yes. I feel the same way often. I've been married for almost 8 years. And adding kids to the mix always make things more difficult too. Raising a child, working full time, its all very stressful. Things will get better. And then worse again...and then, eventaully better again.

[DN]

Time for you guys to work out a better way to solve issues between you than the one you are using. Try doing it without blame or anger and without alway having to be in the right. This is not a question of men and women understanding each other, it's a question of two individuals being reasonable.

 

It's too easy to say "Oh, because he's a man and I am a woman, we think differently and thereforeeee there's no point trying to understand each other." That's just shifting the blame instead of doing the necessary work.

[OceanEyes]

Men and women are not all that different. We are both guilty of the same crimes, have the same highs and lows, but tend to handle them differently.

 

Something I don't think that a man can ever understand, is that PMS is REAL. I know a lot of guys make jokes and snide comments, but trust me, no man will ever understand what it's like to have that lack of control, the physical pain, irritability, etc. It can be really unpleasant for a lot of women. I know that it can be funny to joke about (I do it too), but I also think that it's a natural part of life that should be at least partially understood and respected. I have learned to accept loud, projected belching, ball-scratching/ adjusting, and farting. It's only fair.

 

I don't think that we really need to understand each other completely. How much fun would that be? A bit of mystery, trying to figure your partner out can be an interesting experience.

 

OverParanoid: Most couples have their own ways of arguing and challenging one another. Of course, there are always couples who say they "never argue", but I simply don't believe that. How could that be? Unless you get the two most passive, laid-back, compatible people in the world together, you're going to find yourself disagreeing about various things. I believe it to be normal and more than healthy to speak up about the things you don't agree with. As long as its done tactfully and considerately (most of the time), it shouldn't ever be something that will break you up.

 

If you really feel that your husband is disrespectful or antagnoistic (putting you down to make himself look/ feel better), then tell him that. That's ALL you can do, is to really just let him know that it hurts you, and trust and hope that he listens. You can't ever force someone to see things your way, but if he really cares about your feelings, he won't want to push you.

[DN]

Having had a number of close female relatives I understand that PMS is real and do not joke about it - other than laughing with them when they do. But while making reasonable allowances as you would for anyone in a bad mood or in pain or discomfort, it is also annoying for men when women use PMS as an excuse for behaviour that would ordinarily be very unacceptable.

[ShySoul]

What keeps most men and women from understanding each other is that they perscribe to the myth that men and women can't understand each other. They believe it to be true, so they find ways of making it true.

 

In reality, we are all human. We all carry the same feelings and emotions. We all laugh and smile, we all cry and hurt. We are one, regardless of gender, skin color, religion, or any other thing that supposedly separates us. What is needed to understand each other, is open and honest communication and taking the time to actually listen to and acknowledge how each person is feeling. It is working together to making the effort to address issues as they come up, instead of getting defensive or arguing.

 

Men and women can understand each other. I would dare say I, a guy, understand women better then I do guys. And I've been told that by many people, male and female. So it is possible.

[OceanEyes]

it is also annoying for men when women use PMS as an excuse for behaviour that would ordinarily be very unacceptable.

 

Oh I agree there 100% D!! I regularly admit that I am extremely moody around that time of the month. I've even gotten to a stage where I can actually pinpoint the exact times that I'm getting irritated (ie. I start wanting to argue over ridiculous things, lol). I feel silly afterwards, and luckily, I'm with a guy who knows exactly how to deal with me during those times.

 

Obviously (and biologically-speaking), we won't EVER completely understand each other. We're composed and wired differently. We can only understand our partners as much as they let us, and as much as we actually try and want to understand them. All we can do is try.

[Lunabelle]

It makes me nervous that you wrote about how you eventually agree with him just to shut him up....this is a coping mechanism you've adopted to "save the marriage"...been there done that, my friend....and let me say after 20 years of this, it really sucks......some people call this verbal abuse while some think it's actually the way normal relationships work, but I think it's demeaning, insulting that he must constantly "win" the disagreements by obtaining my full and utter acquiesense to his every thought. The long term result of this is now I won't discuss anything with him, I'm tired of being the one to compromise, there is no actual compromise, it's me giving in to him. does this sound familiar? Him verbally pounding you, (or you him) until you agree with him is not a sign of Love, dear. That's how a child behaves. You better think this one through very carefully. I wish I had dealt with this some other way, it has not been a happy experience for me, and our relationship even in the early days was as you describe, moody and grouchy and those bad feelings are big signs that all is not well.

[Frajhav]

Nothing but all cleshays...shame,Funny how pople love separating one an other just to individualise and feel taller then everybody else...

Lets start by the facts that the only thing that separate women from men is 2 simple things...Genitals and some parts of the brain,Beside that we are all born from the same compose pile.Yes we can understand each other...thats why you are(in a relationship) if u cant understand each other then theres something not working out properly,solve it and understand hem,My fathers are great example they support each other on everything and i clearly have personaly asked my mother if she understand my father in every way ans she told me this(After being marryd for over 30 years we bouth know how we bouth are and thats why we are so happy together).Sorry if im being inpolite or such,i just hate idealistics and false ideals that has evolved by time.Men from mars...women from jupiert...ooohh...stfu...>.

[OceanEyes]

Nothing but all cleshays...shame,Funny how pople love separating one an other just to individualise and feel taller then everybody else...

Lets start by the facts that the only thing that separate women from men is 2 simple things...Genitals and some parts of the brain,Beside that we are all born from the same compose pile.

 

Parts of the brain? Well, that's a pretty big difference wouldn't you say? Taking into account that the brain is responsible for everything we do?

 

It is not a cliche to state one's opinion. Nobody is trying to knock anyone else down here, from what I see.

[Darketernal]

A very vital thing for you to understand in your marriage is this. Small arguments can lead to big break ups! Meaning that you two are constantly putting darkness and hatred into eachothers life, emitting stress onto eachother, and one has to ask yourself, did you marry him with the thought 'i married with him so he can make my life miserable and i his?' Of course not, you were married to make eachother happy, if so then start putting LOVE and LIGHT into the relationship. Its how people are, they let elephants in without seemingly any problem, but the 'ants' get dissected.

 

It may look small but these droplets of darkness and hatred will add up into fighting and a possible divorce if you don't watch out. thereforeeee you really have to watch out with what you say 'is a conflict really worth my marriage or not?' if its not, then don't stake, if it put and end behind the relationship.

 

Love and warmth, remember that.

 

and not whatever the hell you are doing now.

 

Marriage is all about being together but still giving eachother 'breathing space' , we call it freedom within boundries, and good couples complain to eachother what is bothering them, also another warning.

 

You two seem overly stressed out, i 'highly suggest that you two settle for the brass in your life instead of chasing the diamonds. Its better to take a step back, earn less money, living humble and spend quality time together,then to force off high income,high stress, emitting darkness on eachother from work or whatever petty argument, and getting your family ripped apart. Its a time of reconsiliation for you to ask yourself 'if its worth it , or not' . And move on from there.