I Broke Nc...

[hellokittykitty]

After 4 very long days I broke NC. I called, no one answered and his vmail did not come one, I'm pretty sure he just hung up on me.

 

Worst of all I was driving home from my class and I saw his jeep in a parking lot by a coffee shop we always go to. He's probably there with someone else.

 

I feel so low right now, I want to dye. Why was I so stupid to believe what he said to me was true. I am worthless and I don't think I can trust anyone again.

[Relationship Coach]

HKK,

Simply another reason and hard lesson as to why NC should not be broken! Go back to it and stay with it. Maybe this was the little OUCH you needed.

 

RC

[jsunshine]

Dear HKK,

 

You're definitely not worthless...and you will be able to trust again in time. Today is day 8 with NC for me...and believe me it's not getting any easier. Hang in there and keep your head up high. Don't regret calling him, you did what you did, he'll see your number and he'll have to think of you...good or bad you're in his thoughts. For now, keep busy and erase his number from your cell phone. Good luck to you, I wish you the best.

 

JSunshine

[jl301]

Hey HKK,

 

I'm sorry to hear that you are so sad right now. Learn from this and restart the NC again alright. I know right now is really difficult time for you, but hang in there. All this pain and sorrow will eventually go away with time.

[lila666]

I know it's hard, and that you feel terrible, but NC IS the best way to go. It is difficult now, but you will heal in time, and start to better yourself, become stronger and think less and less of him. When you get the urge to call him, do something to distract yourself. Call one of your friends to talk about how youre feeling, or come to this site. I know how horrible you feel, and nothing can heal heartache, really but time. hang in there sweetie!

[Nathalie1970]

HKK,

 

I too broke contact this am after 5 days of NC. I felt bad too, only difference is that he actually talked to me - first he was real mean (I hung up on him), then he called back twice and I picked up and hung up on him. I called him back 2 hrs later and asked him if was ready to talk nice to me? And we talked for 1 1/2 hrs. The only comfort I have is that I did not ask to get back with him(even though I wanted to).

 

You are not, I repeat not, worthless. You reached out and tried to talk. You have to think and know that you deserve to be treated better. We are all here anytime you want to post. Tomorrow is a new day.

[hellokittykitty]

my ex called me today. I thought it would be weird, and it was a bit but at times it was like nothing ever went wrong. we are going to go ahead with our plans for this weekend. I am scared, hopefully it will go okay and not end in a fight. wish me luck...

[Nathalie1970]

Good Luck

[tropicrain]

I too just broke contact after 20 years. This guy was and has always been the only man I have ever really wanted. When we were young (20's) we would get together but never could really keep the ship floating. I was too intense and too emotionally invested in him at time when he was young and sowing oats. I would date others too, but he was always in the background -it has really made me angry over the years that I can't shake him. Believe me I have tried.

 

The last time I saw this particular man I was leaving town after a bad break up with someone else (That guy became violent and I left him). I told him that I was leaving because it wasn't safe for me to be in that particular town anymore. He told me he would protect me-I told him he had never really been into me and I doubted he would start now. So I left and its been 20 years.

 

There have been several times we almost crossed paths..his response has always been that when he thinks of me he smiles, remembers my compassion for others, was very fond of me but there is something missing inside when he thinks of me. It just always felt wrong to reconnect then-I am sure he was married at the time so no go. There is also the big fact for me that after I left 20 years ago I became very ill with an adrenal tumor which left physical scars. I am terrified and ashamed to let him see me like this.

 

Over the years we have both married other people and had kids. I have found myself and have a good career. We are now both divorced. I found out that he went through a terrible situation on the job two years ago and I have been very worried about him so I dropped him an inoccuous card to let him know how proud was of him that he stood his ground-even though it looks like he paid for it dearly.

 

So now I am hoping he contacts me again so we can talk. I feel like we both have things to say to each other. We may start something again or we may close this chapter. Either way it is time to do this.

 

Still the thought of finally really dealing with him scares the hell out of me. We are both older and wiser so maybe now we can talk.