Forgiveness

[dsl_broker]

This is my first post to this site and its a bit interesting b/c the same person that told me about this site years ago is the same person I'll be referring to in this entry.

 

Here's a brief background, I was a senior partner in a "firm" and I brought on someone to work with me and another associate. We became really good friends, she taught me it was possible to have feelings again for someone, that there was something more to life than work work work, she taught me how to have fun and in all honesty I had more fun with her in the months we were friends than I had in my life with anyone, our relationship was simply a friendship, a great one.....Anyways, work began to get kind of stressful and I was beginning to have a tough time managing my firm and maintaining a friendship, I felt like I was betraying the other associate by not giving my all in the group the way I used to before she came on board, and the two of them were beginning to have small arguments, nothing serious, just one person getting frustrated with the behavior of the other. While all this is going on I'm made aware that our home office was eyeing me for a promotion which at my age would be HUGE! At that point I lost all sight of the friendship, work mode was back on and my life, every waking minute was dedicated to me scratching and clawing myself to the next level. I put a trainwreck through her career with our company and left her friendship at a point when she was going through a very hard time. Of all the good I may of done in my life for others, of every good deed, donation of time and money to charity, today there is one thing the stops me from sleeping...its how I turned my back on a true friend, a friend that I fear I will never talk to me again or at least hear from her that her and her family are well.

 

I got the big promotion and all the fancy things that come with it, I live day in and day out creating opportunity for the lives of thousands of people. I work from early in the morning to early in the morning. I have a big ole house with one bed one couch and one flat screen TV. I'm lonely as hell at times, but I can deal with it... and what gets my heart by from day to day is knowing no matter how far away, I have a mother and father that love me. Even still, I can't get over what I did to this person and there is nothing more that I would want to have her friendship back in my life. I have blocked out all intimate and social non-professional relationships out of my life, and I'm okay with it. I got thousands of enemies, all which I respect, there are several people who like to see me fall, and I can deal with all of that. I'm just having an incredibly hard time dealing with what I've done to one of the truest friends I have had.

 

I tried to contact her a week or so ago but no answer so I left a message with a best attempt of an apology, but no returned call. Is it possible to hurt someones feelings so badly that there is never a chance for forgiveness. I never thought of myself as a bad person, but I guess its time to rethink that assesment. I don't think calling her again is a good idea, I don't have an address to write her....

 

has anyone had something like this before, how did you handle it?

[sonjam]

Yes, it is possible to hurt someoene badly enough for them never to want to talk to you again.

 

It's absolutely great that you work so hard to acchieve the best, .... but then what. What are you working for, what are you going to do with your life, when you don't work anymore?

 

People are social creatures, they need to interact, socialise, have friendships, love, companions. You are living a very unhealthy life!

 

You should have a healthy balance between social and work life, and you really SHOULD have friends. What are you going to do if your parents are not there anymore?