My mom tells me I am gaining weight

[QuestionAbout]

I am 5"7 and 130 pounds over the course of a few months I have gained weight. My mother has pointed it out twice that I have gained weight and at dinner I went for second helping of dinner and she told me not to take a second helping for dinner because I was gaining weight. She refuses to acknowledge that these things are universally accepted insults. My weight is still considerably below average.

[annie24]

Welcome to eNotalone.

 

Oh my. My mom is the exact same way. And I am sick of it. It is to the point where I don't even want to talk to her anymore! I am 5'7" but around 160. People tell me I look good, I think I carry my weight well, but yes, I could stand to lose a few pounds. My mom is always on my case too! (And I moved out of the house 7 years ago!!!)

 

It is hurtful. It's not helpful. I know just how you feel.

 

Tell your mom that you are happy about yourself and that her comments make you feel worse. When my mom told me that, it would just make me eat more...

 

Hopefully, she will stop. It's upsetting. I don't know how to stop it, because obviously, my mom is doing it too.

[newts]

Wow, nasty stuff. Tell your mum you are hungry and if your weight does become an issue you will address it then.

 

Have you told your mum that this is hurting your feelings?

[sweetheart230]

Mom's just want the best for you. Some moms are mean in the way they express this sometimes, though. You have to realize, though, that its just her way of loving you. My mom told me once that if I hadn't grown up to be pretty she would have made me get plastic surgery. She also said that I should marry before thirty cause thats when I'll get fat.

 

She doesn't mean it in a mean way, thats just how it comes out. She probably doesn't even realize it sounds like an insult. You should tell her that you are happy with your body and that as long as your healthy, she should stop being concerned b/c its making you feel bad.

[annie24]

It's kind of a horrible way of loving someone, don't you think? Making me feel bad about myself is not the way to show me love.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I have this problem too, only its my dad. He constantly makes snide and mean comments towards me, my weight, my clothes, whatever. I've repeatedly expressed my extreme dislike of it, he still continues to do it. My mom has even started calling him on it. It makes me more angry than hurt, seriously a 300lb guy telling his already stressed daughter to start dieting. I have no health reasons to do it, so why the hell should I.

Anyway, I digress...

 

Your weight is just fine for your height, your actually on the lower end of your healthy weight range. Personally, I would tell your mom to keep her comments to herself. Thin isn't heathy, it's just popular, be yourself and do what you want to do.

[FamousAmos]

i feel...skinny even tho im a varsity football player

im 5'8 130

[FamousAmos]

lol if ur thinking * * *? im in 9th grade, but i was only freshman on varsity. i play 3rd string qb and 2nd string WR but, by 11th grade, ill be 1st string qb, and in 10th, 1st srting WR

[newts]

wow, your a guy too, that certainly is not any where near being over weight. I am 5'10 and 140 pounds, that's skinny.

 

You are growing into a man now, keep eating and eating and ignore these ridiculous statements from your mother.

[theantibarbie23]

Isn't it amazing just how rude and ignorant family members can be about subjects like this? To the OP, I would tell your mother that you love your body just as it is and will not have her tearing down your self-esteem because she has some irrational fear of weight gain. If she wants to live her life that way, that's her choice, but she needs to stop trying to transfer her emotional baggage onto you.

 

My grandmother used to do this crap to me. I lived with her and it really does break you down after awhile. She eventually stopped after I got the message through to her that taking cheap shots at me under the guise of concern is not acceptable and that I would not tolerate it.

 

It took awhile but I haven't heard a single word about it in years. That's real progress considering that she used to make comments all day long, every day.