Frustrated With A Shy Woman

[usdaprime]

I need some advice on shy people. I am shy myself but either this girl is extremely shy or I am missreading her interest. She is a Chinese woman wether that makes a difference or not I don't know. But she will never talk to me unless I talk first. I see her everyday, I eat at the resturant she works at. The main thing that gives me idea that she is interested is everyday when she comes to work I am standing outside were I work and I seen and heard from people that she is always looking over at me. The 8 other workers don't look at me she is the only one who looks at me. Am I misreading her or is there other reasons why she would look at me everyday?

 

Now the part that bugs me is she will not speak at all. I talk to her and she will talk back. I get the idea that once people kind of speak to each other that they would have some sort of little convo when they see each other. Not so with her and No she is not busy she is a cashier and she sits around most of the time doing nothing. I want to ask her out but I am very shy about doing that plus I like to have some sort of sign that she is interested. Which I feel/felt I have with her always looking at me.

[daredevil]

The shyness can be that she is too nervous to talk to you etc, because she thinks might would think of her as a * * * * *, so she doesn't want to show too much interest by talking to you first and such. The way to get around this could be too be a lot of direct.. if u tell her u look good etc. I did that to a girl once, one i work with i told her she had a nice hair etc, and she always smiles to me etc, but I didnt catch the chance to develop it so we ended up not talking etc...

[FamousAmos]

well if you want anything between the two of you, you better make a move fast, or it might be that shes taken,.

[Darketernal]

Well she definitly has a interest in you, she is too shy to say that to you however. You are the man so you make a move here, ask her out and break the ice.

[northernlights]

As a chinese woman myself, I don't think her shyness has to do with her being taught to be submissive. That is generally a big stereotype that doesn't apply to most asians. Yes, people in our culture are generally a little more shy, perhaps because that's how we were brought up, but it's just a general shy politeness that both males and females possess, not a submissiveness. I just had to get that out of the way, since submissiveness could be a bit offensive. Especially if you assumed this is what she was, when in fact she could just be a bit shy.

 

Anyway, I'm rather shy too. If I like a guy but don't really know him, I become even more shy. So just keep chatting with her. Talk about yourself for awhile...share your feelings. I know I like it when guys do this with me, because it lets me just listen and still helps me get to know them. The more I know someone, the more I loosen up. So maybe if you talk about yourself (in a non-egocentric way, of course!) and let her know more about yourself, she may start to speak up more. Give it a shot! I know you said you're a little shy yourself, but if you really want this and if she's not willing to take any action, you may have to initiate!

[Sheyda]

As a chinese woman myself, I don't think her shyness has to do with her being taught to be submissive. That is generally a big stereotype that doesn't apply to most asians. Yes, people in our culture are generally a little more shy, perhaps because that's how we were brought up, but it's just a general shy politeness that both males and females possess, not a submissiveness. I just had to get that out of the way, since submissiveness could be a bit offensive. Especially if you assumed this is what she was, when in fact she could just be a bit shy.

I'm half Chinese myself. I said "many" Asian women, not just Chinese and not all of them. It is much more prevalent in other Asian countries than it is in China, but it is still there. However, many Asian women become quite the opposite because they are fed up with it.

 

Depending on where she has been brought up and whether her parents are more traditional Chinese or not, it could be to do with this. I'm not saying it is, just that it could be a possibility. My father is quite traditional, but he is not so stubborn that he forced all of his beliefs and such onto me; he adapted to Britain (even has a London accent) and as a result of this I have had a very Western upbringing and so I am more Western than Asian. However, my two Chinese friends who were born in Germany have strictly traditional Chinese parents and so they never do anything unless they're invited to do so. Neither of them are shy at all; they are both quite loud, funny and very sociable.

 

You'll just have to learn more about this girl before you can begin guessing whether she is just shy or not.

[Kevin T]

But she will never talk to me unless I talk first. Now the part that bugs me is she will not speak at all. I talk to her and she will talk back. I get the idea that once people kind of speak to each other that they would have some sort of little convo when they see each other. Not so with her and No she is not busy she is a cashier and she sits around most of the time doing nothing. I want to ask her out but I am very shy about doing that plus I like to have some sort of sign that she is interested. Which I feel/felt I have with her always looking at me.

 

Sounds like me. I rarely initiate conversation with others, especially if they are attractive. She is probably just very shy and introverted. I'm not asian and I do the same as her... and I'm a guy, so don't worry so much about her reticence. I doubt if it's personal.

[usdaprime]

Thanks for all the replies. I guess I can sort of relate to her shyness because I guess I have liked woman before and never did anything about it due to either me thinking I could never get the woman or just did not know what to say. Could this be how she is too?

 

I just got back from getting food at the resturant that she works at with my friend and he says he just can't understand her she would not even look at me.

 

I mainly base the fact that she likes me on the fact that when she is coming to work she is 99% of the time looking over where I work to see if I am outside. So once I am walking through the parking lot in my way to work and she and another co-worker of hers is walking in front of me way off to the side and something made her friend turn around. The friend saw me and then pointed me out to the girl I like. So I guess she talks about me? So I asked my friends if there is any other reason why she would be looking at me all the time other than liking me and nobody could come up with any reasons. Is there any other reasons?

 

I am having a very hard time trying to talk to her. Would it be ok if I just asked her out, or should I talk to her more where she is comfortable with me?

 

Thanks

[yeawutever]

Yea, ask her for her phone number, that'll be a good idea, then call her. When u do, then ask her out.