messed up

[teacup]

my "family" is messed up. i've been denying this to myself for a long time. it's the last thing i want to admit but i cant hold it in any longer.

 

lately, i've been getting up at 6 am to go to work every morning for a few hours. after that i rush off to class by commuting which is 2 hours to and from. my parents drive me to the train station because it's about an 1 hour away and then i take the train up.

 

well, today, coming back from school, i got on the train going the opposite direction. i went all the way to the end destination and then had to ride the train back which delayed it for a very very long time. i was exhausted being on that train.

 

the worst part was when i reached the end of that ride. my parents were mad because they had to wait so long. so now.....out comes the emotional punishment, the silent treatment, not talking to me, stonewalling, acting righteous, accusations of me doing it on purpose, threats. this isnt NORMAL reactions. and it's all because my "dad" is an immature toad. right now, the house is tension and pain and so much emotional guilt and pain and anguish placed on my shoulders because of what i did.

 

but it was a mistake on my part....i mean, i didnt mean to go the opposite way but im so exhausted i wasnt thinking straight. but i have a lot of screwed up issues and problems......and this contributes to it. or mabe it's because of stuff like this that's the cause of it.

 

if i am ever a parent, i vow not to be like them. i felt like i had to grow up on my own in every way. not physically because physically i was dependent on them for food and shelter. but emotionally i never had anyone to talk to.......socially, i never had role models because they tell me to get rid of everyone.....anything i had to deal with growing up i had to learn on my own because they never protected me.

[melrich]

Your parents drive you an hour to the train each way every day? You get on the wrong train and have an exhausting journey and your parents have to wait in the car for ages for you because of your mistake?

 

Gotta say I've got some sympathies for your parents.

[LiquidCherry]

I'd be pretty po'd too. Having to drive all that way, wait around, wait around some more for who knows how long until you're on the right train back, and then driving all that way again. How boring, inconvienent, and worrisome. Sure, it was a mistake, everyone makes those. But I think your parents are right to question if your story is true or not.. That's their job. Try apologizing without being defensive and I'm sure the tension will clear in no time.

[Eira39]

They were probably worried about you. Try to understand and perhaps better communication next time to avoid that aftermarth. Don't worry and merry xmas.