can anyone give insight?

[becca2145]

I've been with this wonderful guy for 14 months.He just currently left for arizona for college for 2 1/2 yrs.His parents don't want us together.Which makes thing's alot more complicated then they are.But the question is what are the chances of it working out.we talk every few days whenever he's not busy with classes.He doesn't say "I love you"anymore at the end of phone calls.Is that bad?

[jl301]

Hey,

 

I just want to tell you from my own experience on long-distance relationship. It takes a lot of deication, trust and patience with one another. I don't want to scare you it is really difficult to maintained long distance relationship. My attempt at LD relationship only lasted about three months because she decided that she couldn't take the distance between us anymore. She went school in D.C and stay behind in Kansas City. So we were half away accross from each other. There are so many things that needs to come together in order for LD relationship to work. Understand if your love for another is strong than you guys should be handle this. "What doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger" Hang in there and be patient with him. Don't freak out if he doesn't call you all the time, like you said; he is busy with classes. Wish you luck with all this!!!

 

jl301

[novaseeker]

I've been with this wonderful guy for 14 months.He just currently left for arizona for college for 2 1/2 yrs.His parents don't want us together.Which makes thing's alot more complicated then they are.But the question is what are the chances of it working out.we talk every few days whenever he's not busy with classes.He doesn't say "I love you"anymore at the end of phone calls.Is that bad?

 

Eh ... hard to say based on not much information there. It could be that he is busy. You should discuss your feelings with him when you do speak with him.

 

LDRs are hard, and aren't for everyone. They can work, if both people are interested in an LDR, are committed to making it work, and have personality types that can deal with separation like that (not everyone can). So it's hard to say more than that based on what you've said really.

[snugglemufin]

Hello.

 

To hear the words "I love you" and then to NOT here these words is SUCH a painful situation. There may be reasons for that which I have listed :

 

(1) when he talks to you, his parents are in the room or within earshot, so he doesn't want them to give him a hard time.

 

(2) His "feelings" are different because he is apart from you and so doesn't want to say "I love you" unless its to your eyes

 

(3) (SORRY) He is telling you he doesn't love you by NOT saying it and seeding doubts in your mind about the relationship. This is a technique that guys use when they think they want to break up but are too much of a coward to actully just say it (ashamed to say, I have been there). By NOT saying "I love you" he knows it is hurting you and wants you to be hurt so you no longer like him so the relationship will end slowly.

 

I know these negatives are hard to take but if you feel strong then try this with him. Try beating him at his own game by saying that you don't think things are working anymore and you want to break up. If he agrees, then you will finally know the truth (it will hurt, but not knowing is worse). If he still wants you, then you will have taken him by surprise and he will want you back and you will have shocked him into realising how you feel. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING will make a guy run to you more, with his tail between his legs, than a threat of a breakup. Thats assuming he doesn't want to break up.

 

By doing this, you need to be strong, BUT the importnat thing at this stage is not the relationship, but the TRUTH and where you stand.

 

Hope this helps