the one

[Caterina]

I have just entered into a very new relationship. I have a lot of insecurities that make me doubt that I am ready for a relationship. I don't know if I want to date someone who has a lot of friends that are girls, because of the insecurity issues that ideally I would have taken care of before entering a relationship. I have been going through a lot lately that makes going out extremely inconvenient. Thing is, this guy is pretty great. Is it normal to be this scared when dating someone that you are interested in knowing iwhether he would actually be right for you, and not dating just for fun?

[melrich]

I think you have to put that question into the context of what stage of life you are at. Are you at a stage where you are now thinking about long term commitment and marriage or are you willing to spend some time getting to know whether this person may be right for you or not?

 

I think it is perfectly natural to be nervous about any new relationship. When we commit to anyone we run the risk of being hurt. Nothing good comes without risks.

[friscodj]

Yeah, there is always the risk of being hurt. I would say communicate your feelings honestly and tell him you want to take it slow.

 

You mentioned being "scared" and "normally taking care of some insecurity issues before entering into the relationship". That to me says you may need to work on these issues before you hurt this great guy, regardless of at what life stage you are. Again, communication is the way to go, and think of his feelings too! I don't think being scared about a relationship is nesessarily healthy though.

[nikkers04]

all you can do is take things slowly to make sure he is 100% trustworthy. Becareful to not let your guard down but there are some trustworthy guys out there. Best of luck

[Caterina]

I told him how I feel about the issue, and, honestly, he's been great. Its all my problem really. And it is a problem.

[nikkers04]

just take things slow. Best of luck he seems like a great guy

[Shadows Light]

Once burned, twice shy...

 

just take it slow and easy. Have fun. Be honest. And let er rip. Don't worry about milk that hasn't been spilt yet. It's ok. Having been hurt before its normal to have your guard up.

 

Give it time. And yes.. if you don't try.. you'll never know will you?

 

Can't get a home run if you don't get into the batters box !!!

[Caterina]

Thanks for the great responses...they were really nice. ALso, to ans. melrich's question. I haven't ever thought about marriage seriously until recently. NOt because of the guy, but b/c there is obviously not all the time in the world to choose if you really want to do that sort of thing and have kids. So, yes, I have begun to think about that concept a little more recently then I naturally would have...