Is it just not time for me to have children? Or am I being punished?

[BabyGirl_1]

My husband met when I was seventeen. At the age of seventeen I became pregnant and feared for my life(my mother was very strict and opinionated, my father a preacher)so I aborted with them never knowing I was pregnant. Well, my husband and I married shortly after and I became pregnant and aborted again because I wasn't ready to be a mother. I know I should have just used protection(stupid of me I know). Anyway again I was pregnant but miscarried how I don't know it just happened. It has been three years since then and I have yet to become pregnant and my husband wants kids but is patient. I have seen a doctor and they say everything is fine but It just doesn't add up, what is going on? Any advice?

[xmrth]

Well I don't know if you having your child aborted for the convenience of it was the best choice particularly after you were married, but if your doctor says everything is fine, I'd say listen to your doctor-- he knows best.

 

Unfortunately some women miscarry, and unless there is a problem, which your doctor told you there isn't, then it may very well have been a case of no explanation. If everything with your health otherwise is fine and you're sure you're still ready for a baby, I'd say, try again.

[butterflycloud]

sometimes it is not a physical problem but rather an emotional problem. Even though you may feel fine emotionally, sub consciously there may be pent up gulit feelings over the last two abortions.

 

Your mind is very powerful and perhaps those pent up emotions are stopping you from falling pregnant. Why dont you see a psychologist to try to asertain wether or not there are hidden emotions- if there are and you manage to release them you will be able to fall pregnant.

 

Another view may be that everything in life has divine timing- no matter how hard you try to have a baby if it is not the right time then it just wont happen. Im sure that there is a little soul waiting up there for the right time to come to you.

 

Have faith, everything will be ok Im sure

[RayKay]

My husband met when I was seventeen. At the age of seventeen I became pregnant and feared for my life(my mother was very strict and opinionated, my father a preacher)so I aborted with them never knowing I was pregnant. Well, my husband and I married shortly after and I became pregnant and aborted again because I wasn't ready to be a mother. I know I should have just used protection(stupid of me I know). Anyway again I was pregnant but miscarried how I don't know it just happened. It has been three years since then and I have yet to become pregnant and my husband wants kids but is patient. I have seen a doctor and they say everything is fine but It just doesn't add up, what is going on? Any advice?

 

Have the doctors also tested your husband's sperm? Have they done any tests on you to check your fallopian tubes for blockages? Have they tested for scarring in the uterus? Did they know of the previous abortions?

 

There are many things that COULD be going on, complications from repeated abortions, his own sperm, hormonal changes, being overweight or underweight, stress, your diet (are you getting folic acid and or/taking pre-natal vitamins for example?).....look at these lifestyle issues too. Are you charting your cycle and having sex two days, and the day of, ovulation to increase chances, or just hoping for best?

 

If after a year of trying, you cannot conceive, you need to get the doctors to run tests on BOTH of you.

 

Also a little out there for some people so it depends on your views...but I have heard good results. An acupuncturist can help with infertility...often infertility is caused by pressure or a pinched ovary/tube....I know a couple people whom went to acupuncturists after months of trying..and got pregnant within a couple months!

 

By the way miscarriages can happen very often (often women don't even know they were pregnant before they miscarry), it's not anything you did...it just means the cells were not dividing right, or the uterus was not a hospitable environment (sometimes a weak cervix is also a factor after abortion).

[ShySoul]

Relax. Sometimes it takes a while to have a child. My mom had I believe 2 miscarriages before she had me. It took her awhile before I came to her, and I'm sure she felt discouraged as well. But they kept trying and eventually I came to be. Don't give up, I'm sure that you'll have a child at some point, and that child will make you happier then you can imagine.

 

Also it may be your husband. My sister and her husband tried for years to have a child (she already had one from a previous relationship), but couldn't. I believe it was something about him that was the problem. Last year they adopted a new born girl, and they've never been happier. So keep trying. Somehow I'm sure you'll find a way to have a child in your life.