help needed

[Dr. Chim Richalds]

I suppose this is in the right forum.

 

Ok, so I met this girl about a 3, maybe 4 month ago. Over the course of this time, she's always flirting, we're always talking, "touching," etc. She's even told me I'm hot so I know there's an attaction there. Anyway, I like her so much, so much that I've fallen like a brick for her and am constantly thinking about her (and this is so rare too, because I don't find many girls that i can connect with). There's only one problem... she's already in a relationship with someone. And she shows no signs of wanting to end that relationship with this other guy, however she doesnt really directly mention him to me either.

 

I had a friend mention to her I had feelings for her about a month after I met her (I wouldve told her myself but I figured it would be kind of weird seeing as she's in a relationship). She didnt really respond to it, but she keeps doing the same old, same old and continues flirting and what not... at one point when we were haning out at school, she grabbed and held my hand for a good 5 minutes without letting go, and at another point she joked around about us getting together. All of these things she does are like, serious flirting and "I want to be with you" stuff... but she's in a relationship already and I overhear her talking about her boyfriend all the time... a few days ago I overheard her talking about adopting a child with him (though I think this was a joke or sarcasm, but still) ...I just dont know what to do here. And its gotten to the point where Im having some depression spells because I feel I can never be with her it seems. But I just feel like this is supposed to work out and we'll be together... I feel inside that there's something serious there, but the only problem is I dont know how women's minds work, nor do I how to approach this. I'm at a total loss and at this point I'm starting to act depressed around her, which i fear if I keep doing, will drive her away soon.

 

So I'm basically asking you guys, what should I do? Is she serious with this flirting or not? Is she making sure I hear the boyfriend comments to make me jealous? Should I sit her down and tell her how I feel? I honestly have no clue. Any help is greatly, greatly appreciated.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

Hi,

 

No you cant tell her how you feel, she is in a relationship.. Does she treat you different from the other guys ? She could be interested in you but still like her BF more.. She likes you but still she sees you as a friend and likes her BF... Who knows this could change and it couldnt..

 

I mean she could like you but since her BF still in the picture she will stay with him.. I suggest that you understay your welcome.. Dont be available for her all the time.. If she likes you, she will try to get you again.. I think you said that a friend told her your feelings.. So thats it. Just be nice to her and dont expect something.. Let her miss you, if she likes you she will try to come closer to you..

[Dr. Chim Richalds]

Hi,

 

No you cant tell her how you feel, she is in a relationship.. Does she treat you different from the other guys ? She could be interested in you but still like her BF more.. She likes you but still she sees you as a friend and likes her BF... Who knows this could change and it couldnt..

 

I mean she could like you but since her BF still in the picture she will stay with him.. I suggest that you understay your welcome.. Dont be available for her all the time.. If she likes you, she will try to get you again.. I think you said that a friend told her your feelings.. So thats it. Just be nice to her and dont expect something.. Let her miss you, if she likes you she will try to come closer to you..

 

Well I followed your advice in a way, and didnt go out of my way to talk to her today... I caught her constantly glancing at me out of the corner of my eye (in fact I always catch her doing this), and we eventually met each others eyes and just smiled, and then talked a bit, but not as much as usual.

 

So do I keep the 'understaying my welcome' bit up, or what?

[make_up_your_mind]

Well....I think that she wants you. She's obviously atttracted in some way. But, my advice is this: She has a boyfriend. thereforeeee, she may or may not break away to come to you. But, what you could do is stay happy, not depressed. Be smiling as you usually are to her and try to make her miss you a little. Just a bit...for example, don't call her as much or don't email as much or whatever...And you can just make youself that much more irresistible to her. This could help her end with her boyfriend. But, the main thing is just to remain on the bright side. Look cheerful and happy, (and hot - gel your hair maybe?). And I'm sure you'll get her in the end.

[Dr. Chim Richalds]

Well, I can't keep waiting anymore. I feel I have to tell her, my gut is telling me to. I think she's been wanting me to do this for a long time now anyway... just by the way she acts... i know there's more than just a simple attraction there. But yeah, I just cant keep this to myself any longer.

 

What may I ask would be a good way to proceed with telling her? I want to sort of be subtle with it... maybe lead or build up to it in a way.