here2understand2 Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 hey, so there's this girl who is like 6 years younger to me, and I am 24..I think I am attracted to her but just dont know wether this will be a good idea or not. I am finishing up my grad studies and she's a freshmen this year and her family is a bit conservative(trust me on this I know, because she's from the same culture as I am)..and her folks wouldnt be too comfortable about her dating a much older guy (if they are indeed comfy about her dating at all!!)..I know she's noticed me and waited me to initiate a conversation but I havent coz this had been on my mind. Any folks out there who ever faced a similar situation? I grew up dating older women till I was 23 and dated one who was younger, so a part of me says to go for the girl in question but another part wonders if our maturity level would be on par even if I take into consideration that girls mature faster than boys!..So let me know what you all think and thanks a bunch for reading. Link to comment
DN Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Depending on her maturity level I don't think it's that much of a difference when she is 18 and you are both at university. Link to comment
here2understand2 Posted January 8, 2006 Author Share Posted January 8, 2006 yeah, then there are somethings like friend circles, interests and stuff like.."i can get into a bar/club but not her"..u know what I mean?.stuff like that..also to make things complicated her dad's like a professor and I've spoken to him once/twice. She looks real mature, i mean, even if i were to go by looks and not knowing her too much she looks much older(more like 20-21 than 18..) I guess I can never know until I talk to her..huh? Link to comment
DN Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Right- talk to her, see if she seems interesting and interested and if she is then ask her out. Link to comment
here2understand2 Posted January 8, 2006 Author Share Posted January 8, 2006 hey..nyone else have anything to say on this?..sure would appreciate some other view points..? Link to comment
miracle29 Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 I honestly can't just say all 18 yr old women are young minded because some of them are quite mature. However, a 6 yr difference may be a big deal. Then again, it may all turn out for the best. I think that since the both of you are single (right) and not married or with anyone else, then whats the worse that can happen? If it doesnt work out, atleast you went for it and didnt shy away. My husband is actaully 6 yrs older than me and I love it. I love him being older it works out for me just fine, but then again, i was a bit older than 18 and even older than 21 when I met him. Get to know her and see if she is a mature 18 or a childish 18. Eventually you will see and make a more conscience decision from their. Link to comment
here2understand2 Posted January 8, 2006 Author Share Posted January 8, 2006 well, one of the things I am concerned about is the fact that she might not've dated before..I can say that bcoz I know the family background and culture she's coming from, so she might get too attached to me and if I did get physical(though I'll refrain if I ever start dating her) with her then It might be difficult for her to get past that..but thanks for the reply its nice to see what other people have to say about it..I dont think this will be the most difficult decision i face in life but could it be the most important? I dont know! Link to comment
miracle29 Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Don't you feel that perhaps you are being slighty unfair to her? Guessing all of her thoughts before even taking her out. We are not all the same, this young woman may give you a run for your money, but you'll never know it until you try. If you are already in the mindset that your mojo potion is so strong that she'll become hooked and that she is this weak then you are judging her before she ever gets the chance to make an impression. Try not to guess her feelings for her, let her reveal them to you. She may have dated, and then again she may not be the type that has to date so many men. Look at it in the positive, the less men she's dated, the more pure she will be for you. If she has not dated before, she'll have less baggage and may even make you happier then the women you chose before her. Give her a chance and try not to over think her every thought. Link to comment
here2understand2 Posted January 8, 2006 Author Share Posted January 8, 2006 hmm, i guess I was being a judgemental there..after 6 years of dating thats one thing that I've learnt not to be about first impressions..well thanks for reminding me, i dont think she's weak in anyways..am just kinda circumspect kinda tryin to weigh possibilities how this all migh affect me..thanks for the reply miracle29! Link to comment
miracle29 Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Go into this positive. Think of all the POSITIVE things she could bring to your life, don't doom your fate already by thinking negative or you'll end up talking yourself out of something before you even get the chance to go for it. Link to comment
MiaLeah Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 My boyfriend is 33 and I'm turning 18 in two months. I realize that's a huge age gap, but he's young for his age and I'm a bit more mature for mine. I'm not saying a 16 yr age gap is recommended, but it just goes to show that it really depends on the individuals. My parents were kind of shocked when I told them, but they understand. You say this girl is from a certain culture where she probably hasn't dated before and where the age gap might cause more conflicts. I still say that you should go for it; that is, as long as you know you find her attractive and worth it, rather than simply thinking you're attracted to her as you said in your opening post. Link to comment
here2understand2 Posted January 10, 2006 Author Share Posted January 10, 2006 thanks Mialeah, yup I did get a chance to talk to her today and we might be doing something later this week(I dont know what, havent really thought of it yet)..yes, she being from a conservative family and still living with her parents I dont think late nights will be possible(as she said today that she might've to get home by 8 or 9pm)..but well I'll give it a shot and see how it goes..I really cant say too much about her based on our 5-7 minute conversation but I guess I'll know more when I see her! Link to comment
MiaLeah Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 It can be tough at first, but good luck. Link to comment
here2understand2 Posted January 17, 2006 Author Share Posted January 17, 2006 hey miracle29 and mialeah..this younger girl sure is a mature girl though she has times of a typical 18 year old but yeah miracle29, am having a hard time getting my mojo potion to work..she sure's playin it hard to please but I kinda expected that...I just've to wait and see if I want her that bad coz there's a grad student Ive been hangin out with(she's 25) who's pretty intellectual..just dont know if she's emotionally available(3 months ago she was dating someone, dont know if she still is!) Link to comment
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