Any sign of him causes panic.... long but need to talk

[lucy259]

So I was broken up with about three months ago. We dated for 3.5 years. He has a lot of issues (anger, anxiety, panic attacks, etc.) and had had doubts before. He showed up one day to give me my keys back. The problem I'm having is he keeps lurking places in my life. What do you do when they won't go quietly away. We've had no contact at all-- he called my number once, but hung up. Recently, he blogged about our relationship and what an accomplishment it was to end things and how he has his independence back. It was incredibly painful to see (I know I shouldn't have looked at it). We used to have the same group of friends, but they have pretty much stopped inviting him-- because they were my friends and I would go out regardless of whether he came along or not. He went to one party we were invited to before the break up because I said I was out of town on the evite. He managed to get himself there in the rain and stayed up late (both unusual), that was about 2.5 months ago. The day after the blogging incident, I got added to an evite, which had previously bounced. He was on it and already wrote he was going (maybe because he saw it wouldn't make it to me, email was misspelled). First, I'm hurt that the people (though acquaintences) invited both of us-- but maybe they used the same list as last year, but it still hurts. Second I"m hurt that this is some kind of race to go to things and whoever calls "it "first gets to go. Third, I'm bothered that he's going to try to force himself back into the group, making things hard on me all the time. He's the one who crapped on me and I feel like he should go quietly into the night. Now, I wrote yes on the invite, and he hasn't changed his (we have a month til the event). I know I don't really want to go even if he isn't there, because its far away and I"m going to be going thru medical tests at that time. However, I'm not sure if I should say no right away. If I should say no, that I have other plans and ignoring it. or Leave it as yes and make him wonder and then call saying I"m not feeling well. I don't want these people to be under the impression that its okay to invite us both... but I don't want to be "that girl" who acts immature and petty. The hard part is I get so rattled when I hear anything about him. I'm also on an internet dating site and I know he is too, however, he has but a tv character in his profile and I have to presume he's not using it to actually meet people. I just am not sure how to handle the party situation, given what I know he is writing on the web, and what to do to calm myself whenever I see reminders of him. I know one day he will be back on the web dating as himself and I am sure that will be upsetting too, even I have met someone, but especially if I have not. I'm in my mid to late 20's, but this was my first boyfriend and love and I really haven't had any other experience dating. Ideas on how to handle this?

[ShaKe__]

You're still young,look around-there are many guys who are much more responsible and great for a serious relationship.And for your ex-NC.