I called him at work, I couldn't help it

[Ruthlah]

and he wasn't mean to me. I haven't talked to him in over a month, last time he said he never wanted to hear from me again and changed his number. I couldn't help it though I had to talk to him I miss him so much.

He said hi to me and we talked for about ten minutes. He said he doesn't want to see me and he doesn't think about me, that he dealt with a lot with me and he doesn't want to do it anymore. I don't know, he said probably he would see me around, that he doesn't have a cell phone anymore. I know this isn't true.

 

We didn't fight, or argue or anything. I just feel so badly. I know I wasn't supposed to call but I couldn't help it. Will he really never call me?

[itcouldbe2001]

He really won't call you. Let him go.

[Boughtandpaidfor]

It feels horrible to say but from what you've wrote I have to agree. It's really time to accept that this relationship is over. He can't be clearer than that if that's what he said. I really feel for you- I hope you find someone who loves you real soon.

[helpneeded]

the fact that he went out of his way to change his number means he's pretty sure he doesn't want to hear from u...and the things he said during the phone conversation makes it even clearer that he won't contact u.

[Derek]

soulmates don't change their phone numbers on each other...

 

true love doesn't say "I don't want to see you or think about you ever again"

 

Give it up.

 

 

[Lady Bugg]

Ruth, I am sorry this is happening, but contacting him is not going to help you either. He is being brutally honest with you...I know how hard it is to hear those words, but I am sure he means what he is saying. This is an opportunity for you to finally close the door and move on. He is doing you a favor.....try to see it that way.

[Ms Omaniac]

so sorry to hear your situation. i was in your exact same shoes years ago. my ex pretty much said exactly what yours said. and you need to believe him. he is over you even though youre still reeling in the middle of it. my ex threatened if i called one more time that he'd change his number. i didnt call. and he NEVER did ever again.

Im sorry honey....but he means it. my ex was also tired of putting up with our drama of a relationship and wanted nothing more to do with it. sounds like yours feels the same.

best to try and not think of him and concentrate on yourself this new year. focus on you. be good to yourself and take care of yourself.

[Lady Bugg]

Ruth, for what it's worth, people are attracted to strength, and confidence.

My recent "ex" IF you wanna call him that...in the last few months was basically a complete a-hole to me....because he thought I was going to put up with it. Anyway, I'd had enough.....So I sent him a scathing letter basically telling him off, and that I was done.I then blocked his email. I don't know if he ever tried writing me back...nor do I care. I am guessing though that the email I sent him probably completely shocked him.....because I said some pretty spiteful things ..albeit NOT as spiteful as he deserved!!!

 

My point is that you need to get fed up...and realize he is NOT worth what you're putting yourself through....you deserve better, and your actions need to show that. It's much easier to beg smeone back, than it is to walk away....believe me I know. Good luck

[Ruthlah]

this is so hard to deal with I don't know what to do

[Ms Omaniac]

i know exactly how you feel. i was soooooooooo lost when my ex told me he never wanted to talk to me again. i wasnt remotely close to being over him. i was completely still in love with him despite how cruel he'd been the last few months. i would have done anything to work things out between us.

 

but he was crystal clear...as is your ex. he was over me. he didnt love me anymore. he didnt even want to be friends. he was through with all the drama our draining relationship had caused and he was wanting something new and fresh. he didnt care if i sank or swam...he was moving on.

 

so i had to. it was excruciating. and it took months to finally not be so depressed. but what FINALLY helped really was no communication whatsoever. because we had broken up but we were still talking...i was still clinging onto hope so desperately. but when i finally had to accept there was no going back...and i finally stopped talking to him...i FINALLLLY started to heal and slowly get over him.

 

i was soooo weak before. im a much stronger person now. this experience will eventually make you stronger. but you have to surround yourself with people who DO care about you like your friends and family. and you need to keep yourself busy. but you need to concentrate on you. try and take care of yourself. read self-help books. exercise. try and become a strong, independent person that can rely on just yourself to make you happy.

 

it's the hardest thing ive ever had to do. hang in there.

 

[GettingOverIt]

This is very hard, but you have a huge advantage over many of the people who go through break-ups on here... You have been told in no uncertain terms that he will never talk to you again. I know that hurts like all get out right now, but if you force yourself to stop contacting him, you will be able to move on much faster.

 

The worst thing he could have done was dragged it on, dragged it out... Never told you one way or another whether you would ever speak or see each other again... He saved you from the pit of 'not knowing', from the pain of no closure on a relationship. This is over, closed, and done.

 

I know it hurts so bad right now, but the best thing you can do is break all contact with him, and find people you can talk to, hang out with...

 

When you look back on this, you will see that knowing it is over helped more than you realize right now....

[Ruthlah]

Thanks for all your help, but there are so many things I want to say sorry for and tell him. I know how bad a lot of this has looked to him, but I want him to know exactly how everything REALLY was. I want him to know that I never wanted to hurt him.

[GettingOverIt]

Then write him a letter and send it (after you wait a couple days and re-read it a couple times)....

[Derek]

Yeah, writing a letter part is good, re-reading it a couple or 10 times is good.

 

But sending it... not recommended.

 

Let the letter be your expressed feelings for "right now", let the letter be the outlet, then forget about it, re-read it in a few months (yes I said months), then if you MUST send it, edit it down to half it's size, and perhaps edit that again, then maybe send it. Even then I bet your feelings will be different and you won't need to send a letter.

 

 

 

[Lady Bugg]

I say write the letter..and say EVERYTHING..I mean EVERYTHING....good bad or indifferent....ONLY if you never expect to talk to him again. At least you will have said what you needed to.Then block his email...and move on.

[Ruthlah]

he says he doesn't have email anymore. That probably just means he deletes my emails anyway, right?

[Lady Bugg]

It could be the polite way of saying.."Don't email me"....

Ruth..he has said it's over.....you need to respect his wishes and move on.

For you OWN sanity.

[lewisbn11]

i wish my ex would tell me something like that instead of "i still care for u so much, im not sure if this is right" etc etc. At least you know what direction to move in.

[helpneeded]

u're so right lewisbn11! i'd rather i was told straight with no messing around.

[PrincessLinzay]

I agree with the other posters. He has said in no uncertain terms that he does not want to see you or hear from you anymore.

 

At this point, any apology you give him would be more for you than for him as it would have no affect on him whatsoever.

 

I know this hurts, but at this point you just have to let him go and move on with your life.

 

>

[lewisbn11]

one of the best things i have read on here is.

 

"if you love somone, let them go,

If it comes back then its meant to be"

 

that doesn't mean hope they will call forever. Just try and focus on you and try to take hope in the knowledge that you will love again and be loved.